Vending Machine 5.0

[FeelNFine]

you insert a temporal paradox

I insert a lemon

[Wise One]

You get to hear screams from the machine.
"AHHH!!!! MY EYES!!!!!"

I insert myself. (not very wise thing to do, eh?)

[kitty45]

You get your blood,
I  insert Vending Machine 5.0.

[RagingAlien]

You get ___---___

I insert morse code

[sbluen]

You get R2D2 from Star Wars.

I insert a negative number of slices of bread and a piece of anticheese.

[migster99]

You get a powerful explosion, releasing an explosion equal to 42.96 Mt (TNT Equivalent (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TNT_equivalent) Bottom of Examples)

I randomly insert a random piece of a random celebrity's random hair

[ninjamaster1991]

You get a lawsuit for stealing Abe Lincoln's hair.

I insert a lawyer.

[sbluen]

You get an invoice for an expensive ruined suit.

I insert a sign that says "Do not insert this sign" on it. What's the worst that can happen?

[ninjamaster1991]

You get the worst that could happen, which, coincidentally, is me making you immortal and sucking life out of you until you die, which is never. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I insert a tie in Hole in the Wall.

[Wonder]

You get a bigger hole in the wall.

I insert a drop of water.

[ninjamaster1991]

You get inundated with Inundations.

I insert a wish.

[DOWboy]

You get a nickel

Insert an iPhone