Wat

[drolly]

The following talktext has been inspired by Gary Bernhardt's legendary "Wat" at CodeMash 2012. If you know something about programming languages, it's definitely worth watching the original thing.

Spoiler for credits:

Special thanks go to:

• Gary Bernhardt
• nilsieboy's propaganda speech for Team Gravity in War #4 (aka the Honey Charger)
• zanzarino
• The artists who designed cards for Elements the Game
• The people contributing to the bugs subforum, especially Bug Hunter TheonlyrealBeef
• Elements can haz meme?
• The people who designed the event cards of War #5
• The people who made the meme pictures used
• The guy who drew my attention to Wat @garybernhardt

Advice: Scroll down slowly to get the full experience.

Hi, good. You guys know what WAT means?

WAT. Exactly, exactly.

Let's talk about Shard of Bravery.

By using Shard of Bravery, if your opponent has zero cards left, of course they deck out as you'd expect, and if you try to use Shard of Bravery while having zero cards yourself, of course you deck out as you'd expect,...



...and what happens if you try to use Shard of Bravery and the opponent has a full hand?


Correct, you lose.



Let's talk about Emerald Shield.

Emerald Shield, unlike some other shields, does not let spells get through, your opponent cannot just cast a spell and have damage done to you.


Unless one uses a particular spell called Purify, and then if it is cast on you, suddenly, Emerald Shield lets it get through.


Now, of course because this game is fair, we can flip sides and same thing comes out, so if we do it vice versa, you should exactly get the same thing, which, as you can see, you do.


And this is not deserving of WAT, it's actually a result of how awesome Emerald Shield is ...


... but if you ever actually do this in PvP, then...


Let's talk about Virus.

Does anyone know what happens, to Virus, when it activates its ability while it's poisoned by Aflatoxin?


Um, let me ask this first: What should happen to Afla'ed Virus? Transform into Malignant Cell, I would also accept if it stayed alive - that is not what happens to Afla'ed Virus.

Wrong, wrong...Afla'ed Virus transforms into...

... empty slot. Obviously, I...I think that is obvious to everyone.

And in fact I can even summon a new Virus on that slot.


Right. Now, what would happen if I bless our new Virus? Finally, this is the only one of these that's actually true - because you know, you sacrifice an Afla'ed Virus and get an empty slot, it doesn't make sense, but if you bless our new Virus now - um, does anyone know what Virus becomes then? Er, no, of course, far away.

Blessed new Virus becomes...

...Malignant Cell. So that's what's actually right and...exactly,...

...right like, "What is even going on?", and this...I just...I don't even understand...

...what Zanzarino...with a brain in their head would think any of this is a good idea...


Okay, okay, enough making fun of cards that suck, let's talk about Steal.

If your opponent plays a 3-turn Dim Shield, they get three turns of protection, which is represented by a counter of 2, which is obvious...


...and if I then steal my opponent's shield, I get two turns of protection; this is actually the only screenshot in this entire presentation that is reasonable.


Now, if they steal it back, another turn has been subtracted and they have one turn of protection left, fine.


Does anyone know what will happen if I steal a Cloak with zero counters?


I'm assuming no one does, let me...I'll give you a hint...

...does this help? Does anyone know?





That's all I got. Thank you, guys.

[Evan_85]

Pointing bugs never been so fun before. Thanks for the good read.

I don't know if I should hope for you to find more material to continue the series, or the opposite. 

[Absol]

This awesome. +rep

[furballdn]

Brilliant. From now on, all bugs should have to be reported this way.

[choongmyoung]

U R DOING IT RIGHT

[Rutarete]

Brilliant. From now on, all bugs should have to be reported this way.

Seconded

Great post, drolly. +1 to you

[blahs15]

Ohhh man, all bugs I've known about, and almost all bugs I've experienced.  But reading this was sooooo great.
<3

[regen2k9]

Brilliant. From now on, all bugs should have to be reported this way.

Seconded

Great post, drolly. +1 to you

Thirded.  +rep.  This is absolutely fantastic.  I lol'd.

[storyteller]

Brilliant. From now on, all bugs should have to be reported this way.

agreed.

[Birkedal]

Nice Spotted!

[Bonestorm]

I just about died laughing when I saw this.

[ddevans96]

The following talktext has been inspired by Gary Bernhardt's legendary "Wat" at CodeMash 2012. If you know something about programming languages, it's definitely worth watching the original thing.

This thread got linked in chat when a disucssion about Virus+Afla=fail came up, and I never pass up a chance to look at this thread, but this time I decided to watch the original speech, which I never had.

Four minutes of sheer laughter, and I only understood about half of it. And then I compared it with your script edited for Elements and laughed even harder. Seeing the original speech made this thread exponentially funnier to me than it already was.