The World's End Experience - Dialogue Collection

[Submachine]

Here I plan to compile all dialogue from the game World's End Chapter 1. This is something I have planned to do since September 2015. The game's dialogue is so unique, it also heavily inspired my Night 1 Werewolf Lore way back in the days. (The Night 1 lore is the only part worth reading.) Let's get right into it.

[Warning: Coarse language, cursing and violence ahead.]

Episode One
Episode Two
Episode Three
Episode Four

Episode One
Tierva, July 15 1427



Tevoran
As we enter the Age of Despair, the situation looks dire indeed for Tevoran and Company. Tragedies befall us without cease, and fickle fate grants us no reprieve!

My endeavors have all come to naught! Gambling dens, a male escort service, even slunk trafficking! Fortune can only frown upon my efforts.

Now I sit here in abject poverty, with scarce left to eat save for a miserable pot of cabbage-water. I fear I may even have to seek legitimate employment....

Ysabel (calm)
>>comes downstairs<<
Who the hell are you talkin' to down here?
Are you...

>>comes closer to Tevoran<<
...You're smokin' that shit again, aren't you?
Good god, the whole fuckin' room reeks of it!

Tevoran (eyes closed, upset)
Insolent girl! This savory narcotic is vital to unfurl my latent cognitive prowess. In mere moments a grand plan for enhancing our pecuniary status shall come to me.

Ysabel (calm)
>>walks to the side of the room, facing a counter<<
You've been sayin' that for days now. All your thinkin' ain't gonna keep us outta the bread line.
Speakin' of which, is dinner ready yet?

>>turns to Tevoran<<
What the hell is this, old man?

Tevoran
Why, 'tis cabbage-water, of course.
Highly nutritious and, naturally, ideal for any household on a tight budget.

Ysabel
>>walks towards Tevoran, sits down across him<<
>>crosses arms, starts tapping with right foot<<
You blew the food budget on drugs again, didn't ya.

Tevoran (upset)
Drugs?! What audacity!
These succulent vapors merely expedite my merger onto the superhighway of fiscal enlightenment.

Ysabel (angry)
>>stands up, throws a crate to the wall and crashes it<<
Goddammit, I'm fed up with cabbage-water!
It's not enough!

Tevoran (upset)
By the plundered beanbags of ten thousand eunuchs!
That crate was a crucial component of our dining infrastructure, you petulant brat!

Ysabel
I can't live in this kinda squalor anymore!
What the hell are we gonna do?
Ain't there no one left in this city we can exploit?

Tevoran
We lack the capital required to invest in the sort of petty criminality we enjoy so dearly. Though it pains me to say it, we've no choice but to get real jobs.

Ysabel (angry)
Real job?!
Going back to waitin' tables at some shithole pub?!
No way in HELL am I doin' that again.

Tevoran
>>looks in the corner<<
Do stifle your endless ranting!
You're going to rouse the gimp.

>>a person who was sleeping on a hay pile in the corner stands up<<
See what you've done, now!
The gimp was sleeping so soundly.

Ivan (calm)
I was already awake. And stop calling me "the gimp"!
My name is Ivan, dammit. Now, would someone tell me what's with the exploding crates?

Ysabel (calm)
The old man spent our food money on his precious dope, again.
Now he's sayin' we gotta get jobs.

Ivan (calm, with eyes wide open)
Are you kidding me?
After that stint as an escort I promised myself I'd avoid vulgar things like working.

Tevoran (upset)
Nonsense! Your debt to your uncle numbers yet 100,000 zloteks! As administrator of your indenture, I have full authority to...

Ivan (calm)
Yeah, yeah, we've been over it already!
God, it's too early for all this.

Ivan (smirking)
Say, what have we got here?

>>walks towards a bag of tobacco and makes a cigar<<
>>walks to the kitchen counter, leans on it and starts smoking<<

Ysabel (calm)
...The hell is he doing?

Tevoran (calm)
Smoking with no pipe? Madness! 'Tis clearly a bizarre foreign custom we can't hope to comprehend. If we ignore it perhaps he'll cease his abominable behavior.

Ivan (bored)
Come on! I thought you guys were cosmopolitan types!
It's called a "cheroot" - it's tobacco rolled up in a thin paper. People would smoke 'em back in Phoria.

Tevoran
What in the name of all gods and demons is "tobacco"?
Ysabel, get the holy water.
The gimp is speaking in tongues again.

Ivan (smirking)
That crate must've come from my uncle's place -
he imported a slew of it a while back. I would sell it to local hooligans to get gambling money.

Ysabel
People pay for this shit?
>>turns to Tevoran<<
Hey, old man...

Tevoran (eyes closed, upset)
Silence! I'm on a brilliant precipice, about to hurl myself into the depths of a grand scheme beyond the comprehension of the sober.

Ysabel
Oh, for god's sake.
>>turns to Ivan<<
Hey, you. Do ya think you can track down those guys ya sold to before?

Ivan
Probably. They usually hung out in the Tiendai slums.
You're not trying to get me to sell my tobacco, are you?!

Ysabel
>>walks in front of Ivan, but not close to him<<
First off, it's not even yours. Second, we can't eat it. Can we? Whatever, I ain't trying. So either you sell it or we go back to workin' somewhere shitty.

Ivan (bored)
But those thugs are such a pain in the ass to deal with. Why don't we just try eating it? It might be delicious!

Ysabel (calm)
>>walks up to Ivan and energetically pins a knife to his throat<<
Listen here, gimp. Screw the old man's dumbass schemes. All that matters is I'm hungry, I'm pissed off, and I ain't eatin' rabbit food for dinner no more.

Ivan (calm)
>>casually walks out from Ysabel's pin and picks up the tobacco bag<<
Relax, you goddamn psychopath!
Put the knife away and I'll take care of things.
Geez...

Ysabel
Can't ya act just a little more intimidated?

Ivan
Look, I'll go unload this stuff and bring back a fresh, juicy potato for you to devour.
Will that please you?!
>>goes out and slams the door behind him<<

Tevoran
Good show! Would it that my wretched daughter could show such jubilant initiative.

Ysabel (calm, eyes closed)
>>turns away<<
I think I'll just ignore that.



Ivan
How'd it come to this? Working as an errand-running bitch for a couple of petty crooks.... If I didn't think they'd track me down again I'd run off with this stuff.

>>starts walking up to a masked gang nearby<<
Still, anything is better than rotting away back in Phoria for the rest of my life.

...And here they are.
Let's see if I can remember how to speak the slang these idiots use.

>>stands on a rock a few meters away from the masked gang<<
What ho, boys?
You n' yours fixin' to blaze up a sack of the ol' brown burnlies?

Thug #1
Who the balls were this bogo?
You ain't spake like ya came from 'round the hitherly, chuffo.

Thug #2
>>stands up and walks closer to Ivan<<
This were Tiendai territory, shunty.
Was I you, snowflake, I'd to scalin' outta my boots and skeetin' back homewise. You dig?

Ivan (calm and confused)
Snowflake?!
Look, I'm just trying to sell you guys some damn tobacco. You used to buy it from me all the time, remember?

Thug #3
>>turns to the other thugs<<
Hey, that's truthy.
Your'n were that same bogo what did the gigolo thing with them matrony heffs down in rich-town.

Ivan
I have no idea what you're talking about.
So you guys wanna buy this or should I take my business elsewhere?

Thug #1
>>draws knives<<
I'd soon buy it as I'd snip the ol' frank-n-beans off wit' a butterknife.
I'm to thinkin' you'd best skeet it here, properwise.

Thug #3
>>walks to the right of Ivan with knives drawn<<
Yeah, dig these, shunty. You hand us the smokies or we leave yer bones n' rot for the rats, eh?
Simple choice, eh?

Ivan
So, it's got to be that way, huh?
You guys are making a serious mistake.

Thug #2
Let's get 'im, boys!

>>BATTLE<<



>>Battle is over<<



Ivan (smiling)
I tried to warn you.
Try a bit harder next time.

>>six more thugs appear and surround Ivan with knives drawn<<

Ivan (not smiling any more)
...Seriously?
You've got to be kidding.

Thug
Your'n ain't to be gettin' away so easy, shunty.

Ivan (mad laughter)
>>draws a huge spear<<
Quit talking and attack me then, if you've got the balls!
I'll take you all down!

>>notices Tevoran and Ysabel watching from the distance<<

Tevoran
Alas! Our errand boy has found himself in no small predicament.
It seems intervention may be necessary.

Ysabel (calm)
I knew it was smart to follow him.
Leave it to that gimp to mess everything up again.

Tevoran
Indeed. But we've scarcely the time to reflect upon his predictably odious failings!
To arms!

>>Tevoran and Ysabel walk up to the others<<
>>Ysabel draws a crossbow<<

Tevoran (upset)
Uncouth ruffians and hooligans alike!
Disarm yourselves and unhand my minion at once!

Ivan (bored)
>>stops the battle pose, rests the spear<<
How nice of you all to show up, whatever the implications of that might be.

Ysabel
Savin' your ass is only incidental.
I ain't gonna rest till I get a decent meal tonight, and these assholes are makin' that difficult!

Thug
>>walks closer to Tevoran and Ysabel, knives still drawn<<
Ours weren't to to be flanked by skanks!
The Tiendai were about to learn ya regrets in crossin' sticks uswith!

>>BATTLE<<
>>Tevoran and Ysabel joins the party<<



>>Battle is over<<



Ivan
So you were following me after all.
No matter, I guess.
Looks like I owe you guys one.

Ysabel
Don't think too much of it.
You're holdin' the meal ticket is all.

Tevoran
Your logic is questionable if you'd cross such dangerous territory. Our presence was clearly justified!
Now, do go finish your mission.

Ivan
Yeah, yeah.
I'll be back in a few minutes.

>>walks up to a thug's body<<
Hey, looks like this one is still twitching.

Thug
U-ugh...

Ysabel
>>draws crossbow and aims<<
I'll take care of that.
Hey dickhead, it's time to die.

Tevoran (upset)
>>walks in front of Ysabel and holds up hands<<
Wait! Stop that at once!

Ysabel (calm)
>>puts away crossbow<<
Are you havin' moral reservations or something?
They attacked us first, ya know.
Lemme just plug him here, and we'll be on our way.

Tevoran (upset)
Quiet, you!
As it happens I've just now leapt off the precipice of ignorance into a chasm of wisdom.

Ivan
That sounds more than a bit painful.

Tevoran
Cast your snide comments to the winds!
I've conjured a plan that shall fill our pockets far beyond the pittance your foreign drugs might grant us.

>>walks up to the thug's body<<
Yonder thug!
Surrender at once, and submit to capture!

Thug
>>kneels up<<
Ain't like to happen, chuffo.

Ivan
>>knocks the thug off an elevated terrain<<
Ugh, shut up.
You're not in any position to do otherwise.

Thug
>>body on the floor again<<
Damn, scro!
Why the shit were ya to doin' that?!

Ysabel
>>puts away the crossbow<<
What the hell are you plottin' anyway, old man?

Tevoran
The plan is simple and elegant. We shall hold this grunt for ransom! Brilliant. His comrades-in-arms will doubtless offer riches beyond measure for his return.

Ivan
>>turns to Tevoran from the thug<<
You don't seriously think that, do you? I mean, look at him. I doubt he's worth half a zlotek in ransom. Besides, aren't his "comrades" all dead?

Thug
>>kneels up again<<
There's all more o' we, a full hovel at that.
Soonwise the boys are to trackin' y'all down and reamin' ya bloody. Dig that.

>>everyone turns towards the thug<<

Tevoran
>>walks closer to the thug<<
A full hovel, you say? Ah! Then we shall bring you to them and claim our wealth. It can't be denied - the horizons of my cunning are boundless!

Ivan
And we're going to find this place of theirs how, exactly?

Tevoran
Well, as for that, ah...

Ysabel (evil smile)
Come on! There's only one way - we'll torture it outta him, of course. It's my specialty, ya know. Suddenly this plan sounds pretty good.

Thug
Hoi, slatty. Cast yer violency herewise if yer wantin'. I weren't to skeetin' a word at ya.

Ysabel (bored)
>>walks up to the thug<<
Oh really? How should I deal with ya, then? Cut yer balls off? Maybe I cover 'em in honey and let sewer rats at 'em. Or I could dissolve 'em in sulfuric acid.

Ivan
She's capable of all of that and worse, you know.
I've seen her do it.

Thug
Awright, awright!
I'll tell ya shunty bogos the whereats of the place!
Don't expect ya were to walkin' out alively, though.

Tevoran
Very good, then!
Let us tie him up and return to our quarters for a short reprieve.

Tevoran's Hideout, Tierva
Evening 15.Jul.1427

to be continued...

[Aves]

Ooh, now this brings back some memories. Annoying ones, since I now remember that my save file got wiped 3/4 of the way in, hehe. It's on Kongregate if anybody wants to check it out for themselves.

[Submachine]

Tevoran's Hideout, Tierva
Evening 15.Jul.1427



Codex unlocked! New codex entries:

Spoiler for Ivan:

Spoiler for Phoria:

Spoiler for Tevoran:

Spoiler for Tierva:

Spoiler for Ysabel:

Thieves' Warehouse, Vestibule
Evening 15.Jul.1427



Vadim (tied up with ropes)
This were the place, chuffos.
You'll regret to bringin' yerselfs herewise.

Tevoran (annoyed)
Regret?! Only fools waste their time with such nonsense. 'Tis your ilk who shall regret interfering with the business of Tevoran and Company!

Vadim (grinning)
Such as your'n shain't be...

Ysabel
>>walks up to Vadim and forcefully shoves him into a nearby locker<<
Shut up already, would ya?!
Your voice is gonna make me puke.

>>several thugs stand up upstairs<<

Thug
What're y'all that dares encroachage?

Ivan (bored)
Great!
Now we've got their attention.

Tevoran (annoyed)
As we well should!
But know that such a rabble cannot hope to withstand our unrestrained fury!

>>BATTLE<<



>>Battle is over<<



Ivan
That wasn't so tough, I guess.

Ysabel
Yeah, but this ain't over yet.
Yer little ransom plan better work, old man.

Tevoran
If my calculations are correct, as they undoubtedly are, the master of this putrid domain lurks in the shadows of the next room. We'd do well to prepare!

Vadim (panicked, stuck in a locker)
>>knocks furiously<<
Hoi! Were y'all to havin' me left herein?
My pissbladder ain't to be holdin' intactly!

Tevoran (annoyed)
Be still and silent, wretch!
To drown in your own waste fluids would be too good a demise for such an uncouth savage as yourself!

Ysabel (smirking)
>>draws knife<<
I'm still willin' to torture him, ya know.

Ivan (bored)
I'm pretty sure we're all more than aware of that.

Ysabel
>>turns away and crosses arms<<



Tevoran (serious)
Attention, vermin and scum!
Let the foul master of this despicable hive present himself at once!

>>a burly guy walks to the top of the staircase<<

Laszlo (calm but intimidating)
What're all with the noisy?
I cain't half hear enough to count my own dick over whatsuch racket.

Tevoran (serious)
Lo, ignoble chieftain of urban churls! Your organization has interfered with our operations in a most uncouth manner, threatening the transport of our merchandise!

Laszlo (calm but intimidating)
Who the shit now might your'n be, what with this talk o' threats? Ours ain't done anywise things, and ill likin' these speechies fallin' on our ears.

Tevoran
I am Edwin Tevoran, of Tevoran and Company, whose wares your minions attempted to pilfer. One was taken alive - we demand compensation for his safe return.

Vadim
>>walks next to Tevoran<<
>>starts smiling and waving to Laszlo<<
What ho, cap'n!

Laszlo
Well, well, well, well, well.
Little Vadim were to been catchied in a mess again?
How for a dilemma.

Vadim
>>stops waving<<
A truthy bind, were'nit cap'n.
So how's for us knifin' them and these, then?

Laszlo
Not so hastewise, now. We were bailin' you out many times yet, eh? Skeetloads of blundery is what we seen, now with you bringin' trouble straight homewise.

Vadim
Such a talk weren't so liked by me.
What's yours havin' said, now?

Ysabel (calm)
>>turns away to Ivan<<
Can you understand a single goddamn word of what they're sayin'?
I sure as hell can't.

Ivan (confused)
>>leaning to a wall with his back, smoking<<
I think they're arguing about something, but I'm not quite sure.

Laszlo
I was to thinkin' oursuch shain't cover for you n' yours no longer. Too much failings lately - I were shamed in dealin' with ya.

Vadim
Skeet nosuch choomly words about, boss!

Tevoran (angry)
>>stomps on the grounds<<
Ye gods! Cease your inane blathering at once! I'll not hear another word of your tedious parlance. Shall we be compensated fairly, or need we resort to force?

Laszlo
I weren't hearin' such in our own fortress!

>>walks away from the stairs, towards his underlings<<
Hoi, get to cuttin' all them n' these down, boys.
Little Vadim, too, whose misdeeds weren't worthy by us.

Vadim (angry)
>>dashes up the stairs, knives drawn<<
Whatsat? Filthy bogo, what were a boss!
Yer insults weren't to go unpunished.
I'll be paintin' the walls wit' yer red n' runny.

Laszlo
A cheap shunty such as your'n would to challenge mine?
Come n' taste this knife if ya dare, little Vadim.

Tevoran
So be it!
Then your lot is cast with ours.

>>Ivan stops smoking and Ysabel draws her crossbow<<

Ivan
Huh? Are we fighting now or something?

Ysabel (angry, eyes closed)
It's about time. I was gettin' a headache listenin' to these assholes.

>>BATTLE<<
>>Vadim joins the party<<



Laszlo
This weren't no rightly way to die...
Get to avengin' me, brothers...

Spoiler for Alternative Ending Screen:

>>Laszlo collapses<<
>>Battle is over<<

Tevoran's Hideout, Tierva



Ysabel (smiling)
Finally! I get to eat a decent meal for once.

Ivan (calm)
Yeah, but you spent all my tobacco money on it!
How are we gonna eat for the rest of the week?

Tevoran (annoyed, eyes closed)
Stop arguing! I'm attempting to relax after such intense physical exertion. In any event we've salvaged enough material from that warehouse to subsist for a time.

Ivan
By the way, uh...
Why is this gang member still following us around?

>>Vadim is revealed to be standing in the opposite corner<<

Tevoran
The lad put on such a show of prowess in that last fight, I couldn't help but hire him. Neither of you were paying a shade of attention! He's now our personal enforcer.

Ysabel (bored)
>>walks next to Tevoran<<
Enforcer?! You hired this douchebag? You gotta be kidding me.
He's gonna cut our throats and rob us in our sleep!

Vadim
>>walks out of the corner<<
Skeezer, please. I were to be loyally as your'n had no idea.

Ysabel
Loyal, my ass. Loyal to what?! First you attack us, then you switch sides and help us kill off all yer old buddies! You're crazy if ya don't think I'll be watchin' you.

Vadim
Hoi, watch this n' these balls, slatty. The new cap'n were swingin' the heavier cashbags, so there comes my loyalness.

Ysabel (frowning)
>>crosses arms with a freshly drawn knife<<
Someone really oughta cut you.

Ivan
Great. Not only are we as broke as when we started, but we've got to hear this guy's stupid banter all day long.
Tevoran, I hope you know what you're doing.

Tevoran
I certainly do. We've performed a myriad of grand deeds today under my direction! Things could hardly be better.

Ivan
>>stops leaning to the wall and walks two steps forward<<
You kidding?! We just killed off twenty gang members!
What if more of 'em come after us for revenge? There's hundreds of those guys running around in Tierva!

And then there's the rival gangs!
Didn't we just create a power vacuum?
There's a lot of implications, here, and I'm not sure...

Tevoran (eyes closed)
Such a ludicrous racket! Everything will work out fine.
If you're not going to stuff your blather-hole with pig meat, do keep it shut!

>>everyone calms down and starts to gather around a roasted pig<<

[Submachine]

Episode Two
Tierva, July 22 1427



Vadim (grinning, eyes closed)
...So then he were as "No, don't hit me!" n' I were then as "Hoi, know my fist, bogo!" n' I smash that shunty facewise. I never seen such a redflow out one so old!

Ivan (bored)
Gee, you certainly love fighting, don't you.

Vadim
Fightin', drinkin', an' sprayin' my skeetlings to the four breezes, chuffo!
How else were there to live anywhy?

Tevoran (eyes wide open)
>>walks into the house from outside<<
Red alert! Terrible news is afoot!
It's an unmitigated disaster!
Mayday, mayday, mayday, mayday, mayday!!

Ivan (bored)
Oh great.
Here we go again.

Ysabel
>>walks downstairs<<
You look like a swarm of hornets just flew up yer ass.
What the hell's goin' on this time?!

Tevoran
There's been an abduction most vile!
Loathsome villains have captured a dear old friend of mine!

>>holds up a paper<<
Behold!
I grasp the ransom note in my very hand.

Ysabel
>>walks up to Tevoran<<
Let me see that.

>>takes the paper and starts reading it<<
Hmm. "Closing up shop forever to work for Lord Boris Belayav. Signed, Dr. Casimir Gheft."
Sounds more like he's resignin' than he was abducted.

Tevoran (annoyed)
Resignation? Impossible! 'Tis not in Casimir's nature to suddenly disappear without warning in such manner.
Clearly forces of evil are at work here.

Ivan
How do you know this "Doctor Gheft" guy anyway?

Tevoran (worried)
>>takes a smoke of his pipe<<
Why, he's my pharmacist, of course.

Ysabel
>>crosses arms<<
Pharmacist, huh?
Ain't that just another word for drug dealer?

Tevoran (annoyed)
>>turns away from Ysabel and takes a few steps away from her<<
Your semantic tricks phase me only slightly!
In any event, we must commence a rescue operation forthwith. To arms, then!

Ivan
>>stops leaning to the wall and walks two steps forward<<
Wait a minute.
You're considering breaking into a noble's manor just because your "pharmacist" found another employer?

Vadim (grinning)
Hoi, don't mind this shunty, cap'n. I were all pleased to join in. What's them old richtown nobly types, they were needin' a proper fistin'.

Tevoran
How righteously vindicatory, lad!
Assuming, that is, that you're refering to an act of pugilism and not of buggery.

Ivan
How is this even remotely a good idea?
You think a Tiervan lord's not gonna possess a legion of guards? It's suicide!

Ysabel
The gimp might actually be right. Do I wanna risk death just to entertain yer paranoid fantasies?
He wasn't even really abducted, ya know.

Tevoran (annoyed)
>>walks in front of everyone<<
Silence! I'll have the assistance of both of you!
Do you not see the importance of this mission?

Ivan
Not really, no.

Tevoran (annoyed)
Too bad, for as my indentured servant, you have no choice! You as well, lazy girl!
It's time you start earning your keep around here.

>>calms down<<
Either work as my minion, or start paying rent!
It pains me, but perhaps you're better suited to work as a barmaid than engaging in any sort of adventure.

Ysabel (angry, eyes closed)
>>rests her arms<<
Oh, piss off. Fine, I'll come along on your stupid "adventure". But don't be surprised if I take off runnin' the instant some crazy shit happens.

Ivan
How fickle of you.
Let me guess, you only want to get the chance to stab someone, is that it?

Ysabel
>>turns to Ivan<<
You look as good a target as any, gimp.

Tevoran
Yes, there's that fighting energy! Now let us gather supplies, against the very remote possibility that fierce combat awaits us on tonight's adventure.

Tevoran's Hideout, Tierva
Afternoon 22.Jul.1427



New codex entries:

Spoiler for Boris:

Spoiler for Bronoi:

Spoiler for Khiendai:

Spoiler for Laszlo:

Spoiler for Niendam:

Spoiler for Vadim:

Spoiler for Valelands:

Boris' Mansion, Courtyard
Evening 22.Jul.1427



>>Tevoran and Company climbs through a crack in a wall<<

Tevoran
How convenient! It seems fortune itself smiles upon our most noble mission.
See how your fears were for naught!

Ivan
It's a little too early to say anything like that.

Ysabel
>>looks at the mansion<<
That's one hell of a house this guy's got.

Vadim
Awright then.
Let's get to bustin' up this hovel n' slicin' up yonder bogos real swift.

Tevoran (annoyed)
>>turns to Vadim<<
Not so hasty! We must assess the situation carefully.
How many are our foes? Might we evade them?
These are important aspects of tactics as it happens.

Ivan
I didn't think you actually cared about strategy.
Not that it'll make any difference, of course.

Ysabel
The old man fought in that old war, ya know.
When he's sober, which ain't often, he actually thinks about that sorta thing.

>>Vadim walks away from the group, deeper into the mansion's territory<<

Ivan (calm)
>>looks after Vadim<<
Huh?
What's that idiot think he's doing?!

Vadim (grinning)(in the distance)
>>flips off a guard<<
Hoi, guard-boy!
Get to sniffin' this skeetly bag o' beans I has upon ya!
Dig that?

Guard (surprised)(in the distance)
You! How'd you get in?
Stop right there!

Ysabel (angry, eyess closed)
God, what a fucking moron.
I shoulda known somethin' like this was gonna happen.

Ivan
We're not screwed yet.
Can't we just use this as a distraction and sneak past them?

Tevoran
It may be prudent. See you then how hiring that boy has already served us well?
What a fine decoy he's made! Let us proceed.

Vadim (in the distance)
Yeah, have at us then, scro! I were bringin' the whole crew herewith as backup, Tevoran n' Company as named. They right over yonder.
>> starts waving to Tevoran<<

Tevoran (annoyed, eyes closed)
Misbegotten spawn of a genderless gutter trollop!
I should have disemboweled him when I had the chance.

Ysabel
Don't say I never told ya so.

Guard (in the distance)
Alert!
Intruders have breached the premises!

>>more guards appear<<
All of you!
Drop your weapons and surrender at once,
or prepare to die!

Tevoran (annoyed, eyes open)
What audacity!
I'll make no such absurd preparations.

Ivan
>>turns to Ysabel<<
Here comes that violence you wanted so badly.

>>BATTLE<<



>>Battle is over<<



Tevoran (annoyed)
Foolish ruffian!
Your antics could have resulted in a most humiliating death.

Vadim (calm)
Ya, truthy that were.
But us n' ours were livin' yet, ya dig?

Tevoran (annoyed)
I shan't be doing any digging whatsoever!
Know that in the future such reckless bahavior will be punished without mercy!

Ivan (bored)
So what next, fearless leader?
Shouldn't we be moving away from here as quickly as possible?

Tevoran
Yes, very good.
There must be some entrance or another in the vicinity.
And do exercise some caution as we proceed!

Ysabel
Let's go already!
I'm losin' interest just standin' around here.

>>more guards appear<<

Guard
You'll not be standing for long.

Tevoran (annoyed)
Damnation and hellfire!

Ivan
Tell me I'm not the only one who saw this coming.

>>BATTLE<<



>>Battle is over<<



Ivan
Somehow I think this may have been a mistake.

Ysabel (furious)
No shit.
I'm gettin' outta here before I get killed.

>>starts walking away but Tevoran gets in her way, blocking her path<<

Tevoran (annoyed)
You'll do nothing of the sort!
We've come too far to turn back now!

Ysabel
Too far?!
We're still in the damn courtyard!

Tevoran (annoyed)
Indeed!
And we'll continue on, relentlessly pursuing our most noble goal!

Ivan (worried)
I knew I should've prepared a will.

Tevoran
>>turns to Ivan<<
Such prudence befits only the feeble and cretinous!
Now, let's calmly assess our resources and proceed with temerity into the innards of this manor.

Spoiler for Saving screen:

Boris (euphoric)
>>injects himself a drug<<
Ahhh...
What a rush!

>>turns to an old man nearby<<
You've done well, Dr. Gheft.
I must say I've rarely had a better fix. You'll remain among my most valuable and highly-paid servants.

Casimir
Very good, sir.

Boris (menacing)
But know this! My appetites are nearly insatiable, and my tolerance ever-increasing. Therefore you must continue to produce the very best medicines!

Casimir
As you wish, sir.

Boris (grinning)
Yes, yes. You're secure for now, but fail me even once, and your replacement will be harvesting your delicious glands for future chemical concoctions!

Casimir (worried)
Oh, dear...

Guard
>>walks into the room<<
My lord, my lord! There's an emergency!
Your estate has been invaded by murderous rogues!

Boris (serious)
Who would dare trespass on the domain of Boris Belayav, Tiervan Lord of the Third Tier?
Mobilize the guards and hunt down the interlopers at once!

Guard
At once, lord!
>>walks away<<

Boris (serious)
>>turns to Casimir<<
Ah... with all this excitement I'll need another blast.
Dr. Gheft, your services!

Casimir
Right away, sir.



>>Tevoran and Company enters the mansion<<

Tevoran (annoyed)
>>looks around<<
What a gaudy, contemptible shanty we find ourselves in!
Its creator truly has no taste in design.

Ysabel (calm)
You kiddin' me?
I'd take it over where we're livin' in a heartbeat.

>>guards arrive<<

Guard Captain
Criminals! Your continued outrages against Lord Belayav end here!
Turn back at once if you value your lives!

Ivan (bored)
You might want to consider turning back yourself.

Guard Captain
Very well.
Your arrogance will earn you a slow and painful death!

>>BATTLE<<



>>Battle is over<<



Guard
>>reporting to Boris<<
My lord! It's terrible! The invading villains are slaughtering us left and right!
They're approaching this very room!

Boris (annoyed)
Then why are you chattering at me?
Go on and dispatch them! I'll give double stimulant rations to every man who takes a head!

Guard
I'll lay down my life if I must, lord!

>>turns away and starts marching towards the door<<
Ye gods!
They're already here!

>>Tevoran and company walks through the door in the distance<<

Tevoran (worried)
Dr. Gheft must be nearby!
Do the byproducts of his narcotic chemistry not tickle your nostrils?

Ysabel
Are ya sure it ain't the gimp?
It doesn't look like he's washed in ages.
I bet it's just him you're smellin'.

Ivan
Hey, water isn't cheap!
Not that you should talk. Haven't you been wearing the same sweatpants for the last two weeks?

Boris (grinning)
>>walks towards Tevoran and Company<<
Who are you villains and what are you doing here?

Tevoran (serious)
Our names are not important, though our present business is. You've captured my pharmacist, and I intend to rescue him from your gnarled clutches!

Boris
Capture? What nonsense! Dr. Gheft came to me of his own accord. The pay I offer him is far beyond what he received dealing with your common ilk.

Casimir
>>steps forward<<
It's true, Mr. Tevoran, sir.

Ysabel
>>turns to Tevoran<<
See, old man?
Just like I told ya.

Ivan
Too bad we couldn't have passed the point of no return before resolving that.

Tevoran (calm)
Don't you fools see? The good doctor has been thoroughly brainwashed by this lout! Clearly, we must cut him down if we hope to break their sorcerous bond.

Ivan
I don't think brainwashing works that way,
but since we've come this far...

Boris
>>looks at Casimir<<
Hide yourself at once, Dr. Gheft. I'll destroy these brutes with my own hands. I've been saving some of your "special" medicines for a situation like this.

Casimir (eyes closed)
>>walks out through the back door<<
Dear heavens, I only wanted a quiet retirement...

Tevoran (calm)
Worry not, Doctor!
Your rescue is imminent!

>>more guards appear<<

Boris (shouting)
Guards!
Execute these hoodlums at once!

>>BATTLE<<



Boris
I... I cannot die like this!
So many highs I'll never attain...
I can't...



>>Boris collapses<<
>>Battle is over<<



Tevoran
Doctor, where are you?
The spell has been broken!

Ysabel (angry, eyes closed)
There was no goddamn spell, and he wasn't abducted!
How delusional can ya possibly be?!

Casimir
>>walks in through the back door<<
Good day, Mr. Tevoran, sir.

Tevoran
Breathe in the delectable vapors of freedom, Doctor!
We've liberated you from your horrific prison.

Casimir
Actually, Mr. Tevoran, it is true that I came here willingly.

Tevoran (annoyed)
Wh-what? Does the madness still afflict you?
There's a ritual we can use to fix this.
I'll need a fresh onion and some goat's blood.

Ivan
No, you old ass!
Stop jabbering for half a minute and listen to the guy.

Casimir
The pay Lord Boris offers is quite good, Mr. Tevoran, though I fear his present condition might change that somewhat.

>>Boris' body moves<<

Vadim
Hoi, you crew were heedin'?
Have ya to lookout.
Old bogo were yet movin', yonder.

Boris
>>menacingly rises<<
Gggrruuu... ggrruuu...
I feel no pain...
I feel... ecstatic...

Don't think... you'll kill me so easily...
Just one more spike and I'll show you...

Ysabel
Annoying!
>>shoots Boris in the back<<
>>Boris collapses again<<

Tevoran
>>turns to Casimir<<
Well, Doctor! That matter is settled.
It seems you'll now be in need of gainful employment, yes?

Casimir (apologetic)
My apologies, Mr. Tevoran, sir, but I'm quite old.
I only wish to live out the rest of my days in peace.

Tevoran (annoyed)
Unacceptable! You've been the best pharmacist I've had the fortune to know in Tierva.
Tell me you'd not reject an offer to work in my employ?!

Ysabel (tired)
You kiddin' me?
You're really gonna hire a personal drug dealer for yerself?

Ivan
Aren't your "entertainment" expenses the reason we're so broke in the first place?

Vadim
>>looks around<<
Look about, y'all. Weren't this a nobly hovel, havin' skeetloads o' richiness hither n' yon?
Worthy o' heavy cash, I'd reckon. Let's to grab it up.

Tevoran
Brilliant!
See how young Vadim proves his worth with increasing frequency, unlike certain other charges of mine.

>>turns to Casimir<<
Now, in regards to the job offer, Doctor?

Casimir (apologetic)
Oh, mercy... but it seems my lot shan't improve much otherwise.
My only desire in this world is to practice my craft. If I've the funds to do so in peace, I'll be happy.

Tevoran
'Tis settled, then!
Welcome, Dr. Gheft, to the proud and mighty enterprise that is Tevoran and Company.

Casimir
Thank you, sir.
But please, call me Casimir.

Ivan
Can we get out of here now? Just being in this place makes me incredibly nervous.
We just offed a Tiervan nobleman, after all.

Tevoran
But of course! Now, to commence the virtuous reappropriation of this bourgeois criminal's property!
Make haste, but do take as much as you can carry.

>>Casimir joined the party<<

[Submachine]

Episode Three
Tierva, July 29 1427
 


Ysabel
Ya know, it's really startin' to feel crowded here.
 
Ivan
Agreed.
But more importantly, what is that in the sink?
 
Casimir
>>turns to Ivan<<
It's part of some very important research, Mr. Ivan.
 
Vadim
This guy are sick.
Muhfucker were all as to makin' me piss in there.
 
Ivan (worried)
So you actually went ahead and...
You know what? Forget I asked.
 
Tevoran
>>walks in the door from outside<<
Gather around everyone! I bring good tidings, for once.
We've got a mission to perform, and a high-paying one at that!
 
Ysabel
Great. Anything to get outta this dump.
So what's the details?
 
Tevoran
How good of you to ask! Unfortunately, said details are a matter of utmost secrecy.
Both you and the foreigner must come with me.
 
Ivan
The "foreigner", eh?
I guess that's preferable to what I'm usually called around here.
 
Vadim
>>steps forward<<
Whatsit of me n' mine?
Your'n were to leavin' me here wit' this old chuffo what has me doin' all manner of bogoness?
 
Tevoran (annoyed)
Dr. Gheft's research is important! You'll do as he wishes if you'd avoid a merciless beating. For your uncouth insubordination I designate you the new gimp!
 
Vadim
>>takes a few steps towards Tevoran<<
Now let's have a wait, cap'n.
I ain't to be...
 
Casimir
>>turns to Vadim<<
If you would, Mr. Vadim, sir, I'm going to need a "special" sample this time.
This might be a bit unpleasant for the both of us.
 
Ivan (smirking)
Well, that's our cue to leave.
 
Ysabel (smiling)
Don't have too much fun while we're gone, boys.
 
>>Tevoran, Ivan and Ysabel walk out the house<<
 
Vadim (scared, grinning)
>>looks around in confusion<<
S-slow yer roll, y'all!
I weren't fixin' to deal with all this!
 
>>Casimir walks up to Vadim<<
 

 
Ysabel
>>crosses arms<<
Wait just one goddamn minute.
You never told us we'd be comin' here.
 
Ivan
No kidding.
This is one of the last places on earth where I'd like to be.
What gives?
 
Tevoran (annoyed)
>>stomps on the ground<<
Stop complaining! This is an outrageously well-paying mission we're about to take on and I'll not have you two bungling it in any manner!
 
Ysabel
Why the hell do I need to be here in the first place?
 
Tevoran (eyes closed)
>>turns away<<
It was requested - nay, demanded - as one of the terms of the contract he and I made.
 
Ivan
I guess nothing should surprise me about my dear uncle Milan. So was I in the contract too?
He wants to bitch me out about my debt, doesn't he.
 
Tevoran
>>turns back to Ivan and Ysabel<<
No, but your presence is crucial as well! Knowing Ysabel would loathe the very idea of coming here, I invited you so the two of you could each enjoy each other's misery.
 
Ivan (frowning)
I'm pretty sure you're the only one who's enjoying this.
 
Ysabel (furious)
I'm warning you, old man. If that creepy asshole even tries to hit on me again, I'm outta here and you can go screw your damn mission.
 
Tevoran (annoyed)
Go back to eating cabbage-water every night if your feelings are as such!
I care not a whit.
 
>>Tevoran, Ivan and Ysabel walk towards the front gate<<
 
Tevoran
Hail, noble guardsmen of the esteemed Vaclav estate!
Is Lord Milan present?
I've returned to complete our business matters.
 
Guard #1
Good day t'ya, Mr. Tevoran, sir.
I see ya brought the... ahem, would-be heir wit' ya.
Do keep a close eye on that 'un.
 
Guard #2
Aye.
Can't have him makin' off wit' half his uncle's gold again.
 
Ivan
The both of you can crawl up each other's asses.
When I inherit this estate I'll toss you out onto the street so fast...
 
Guard #1
Yeah, likely that, kid.
The likes o' you's more fit fer servin' Voro slavers than bein' a lord over anything.
 
Ivan
>>walks past the guards<<
Milan won't ever produce a kid of his own. He's a paranoid, deviant shut-in loathed by all women. I'll be his heir, mark my words, so keep your mouths shut.
 
Ysabel (confused)
>>turns to Tevoran<<
The gimp is really the heir of a noble house?
Somehow I got a hard time believin' that.
He sure as hell doesn't act like it.
 
Tevoran
>>turns to Ysabel<<
Heir he might yet become, but for now he's little more than my humble servant!
Shall we proceed?
 
>>Tevoran and Ysabel start going after Ivan<<
 

 
Milan
Ah, welcome back, Ed.
Good day, Ms. Ysabel.
 
Ysabel (glares)
...
 
Milan
I see my dear nephew Ivan is here as well.
How's the indentured servitude coming along?
 
Ivan (annoyed)
Oh, just great.
Is collecting porn as you wait for an early death in total solitude working out for you?
 
Milan (embarrassed)
Ah... haha... I have no idea what you're talking about.
Well, let's all have a seat. There's much to discuss.
 
>>Milan, Tevoran and Ysabel take a seat, Ivan leans on a bookshelf and starts smoking<<
 
Tevoran
To continue where we left off, you truly subscribe to the questionable belief that the Voronese are a threat to Tierva?
 
Milan
Yes, absolutely! Have you heard nothing of the way Vorona's been invading countries left and right?
I tell you, they're trying to rebuild their old empire.
 
Ivan
>>turns to Milan<<
Oh great, let's dive headlong into conspiracy theories.
Let me guess... a sinister chupacabra is masterminding their armies toward some evil end.
 
Tevoran (annoyed)
Quiet, boy! The grown-ups are talking now.
You know as little of politics as you do of common manners.
 
Milan
Snide remarks aside it's no theory.
At least two countries have fallen to Vorona already, and they don't seem to yet be satiated with their conquests.
 
(worried, sweating)
They've got guns!! The rest of the so-called civilized world is fighting with bows and swords!
What chance has anyone got against them? It's over!
 
Ivan
Damn, calm down. Wasn't it just last month that you claimed the undead god-emperor of the Wastes was gonna rise again and devour us all?
 
Tevoran (calm)
I fail to see how Vorona is a threat to the people of Tierva. The affairs of the eastern realms are too far removed from this region to be of concern.
 
Milan
Hardly! Already they're sending in a covert invasion force - the so-called Church of Ecthain. It's they who are the tip of the spear, thrusting into us without mercy.
 
Tevoran (annoyed)
Bah! Vorona's church is anything but consequential.
They're naught more than buggerous proselytizers who bury their faces in their preposterous scriptures!
 
Milan
The mere fact that they're running around in Tierva is worrisome enough. It's just a matter of time, I say, before they start stirring up an insurrection.
 
Ivan
So what's this have to do with us?
You want us to go beat up some monks or something to soothe your wild paranoia?
 
Milan
You know, Ed, you really should work at beating some courtesy into this kid. But yes, dear nephew, you do strike close to the heart of the matter.
 
Tevoran (suspicious)
...Hmm. Something is awry. You're not one to concern yourself with the particulars of real-world politics when undead waste gods and the like aren't involved.
 
Milan (sweating)
Oh?
...Er, well, as an aristocrat it's my duty to stay abreast of such things.
 
Tevoran (annoyed)
Enough! I've known you since you were but a wayward child, and you'll not fool me! Divulge your true intent at once or I must refuse to accept this mission!
 
Milan (nervous, sweating)
Well, uh... it's a matter of some delicacy... you know...
There's ladies present, so...
 
Ivan
Here it comes.
This ought to be good.
 
Ysabel (smirking)
I won't be offended, I promise.
 
Milan (eyes closed)
Oh, damn it all! Fine.
I only care about the Church because of their heavy-handed morality. You see...
 
(embarrassed)
I've got 250,000 zloteks worth of erotic literature! If they get a foothold here, we're going to see home raids and book burnings and all the rest! I won't stand for it!
 
(upset, sweating)
It's only a matter of time before the Church infiltrates the Tiervan government, and then it'll be over for me! And so, they must be chased from Tierva at any cost!
 
Ivan
Are you done?
Good lord.
 
Ysabel
>>bursts out laughing<<
Bwahahahahahahaha!!
Oh wow.
And here I thought the old man was nuts.
 
Milan (eyes closed)
Stop laughing! This is a serious matter.
I did mention I'd be paying you a very reasonable price, right?
 
Tevoran
I would most certainly hope so!
Slaughtering churchfuls of monks is invariably a dangerous and costly business.
 
Milan
You don't need to kill them! Just... get rid of them.
And don't mess it up! I can't have this getting back to me in any way...
 
Tevoran
Worry not, old friend! None shall know that you've paid a large sum of money to amoral mercenaries to snuff out the lives of some gentle ascetics.
>>everyone except Milan stands up and starts walking towards the exit<<
 
We'll be taking our leave, then. We must gather supplies for the evening's labors. Do have a lovely day.
I'll return when the job is complete.
 
Milan (worried)
>>slowly stands up as everyone else exits the room<<
Ugh. Could that have gone any worse?
She must think I'm a vile beast...
Oh, my dear Ysabel... I'll make you mine someday...
 
Ysabel
>>walks back through the door to shoot an arrow at Milan's feet<<
>>Milan barely dodges<<
I heard that, you dirty old lech.
Here's somethin' to make yours.
>>walks out again<<
 
Milan (eyes closed)
I'll treasure it always...

to be continued...

[Submachine]

I added Episode Two and the beginning of Episode Three. Those who start reading from the last post might accidently skip Episode Two, and even if they don't, they will have a lot of scrolling to do. To avoid that, you can start reading Episode Two from here.

[Submachine]

Tevoran's Hideout, Tierva
Afternoon 29.Jul.1427

New codex entries:

Spoiler for Boris+:

Spoiler for Casimir:

Spoiler for Church of Ecthain:

Spoiler for Hrvain:

Spoiler for Milan:

Spoiler for Vorona:

Ecthanian Church, Lower Room
Evening 29.Jul.1427



Tevoran
>>bashes on the door from outside<<
Sanctuary! I demand sanctuary!
Alms for the poor as well!
I'm quite poor, you see.

Voronese Soldier #1
The church is closed for the evening!
Come back tomorrow.

Voronese Soldier #2 (groaning)
As if it wasn't bad enough dealin' wih these pervy monks, we got a bunch of bums showin' up lookin' for a handout. I don't know which is worse.

Voronese Soldier #1 (panicked)
Shut up! We're in a holy place! Ecthain will smite us both. Besides, don't complain! This's the easiest job we've had! Nothin' bad ever happens here.

>>Tevoran smashes through the mosaic church window and slices Voronese Soldier #1 in half<<
>>Tevoran's party enters through the window and takes battle stance<<

Voronese Soldier #2 (alerted)
H-holy shit!
Hey, hey!
We got intruders!

>>a few monks and acolytes walk down the hall<<

Monk
Interlopers!
How dare you profane the sacred house of Ecthain?

Tevoran
>>puts his sword away and turns to the Monk<<
Your guards denied us entry.
We had little choice but to admit ourselves in an unconventional manner.

Monk
>>speaks to an acolyte behind him<<
Alert Father Otis at once!
We'll deal with this rabble.

>>the acolyte goes away<<

What is your purpose here in defiling this holy place?

Tevoran (intimidating)
It seems your kind is not welcome in Tierva.
We come to deliver a message - leave at once or you'll be forcefully removed.

Monk
The Church of Ecthain is under a divine imperative to deliver the message of salvation! We'll not flee at the threats of violent heathens.

Tevoran (intimidating)
We've got our own imperative, as it happens.
I do hope you're prepared for a most forceful eviction!

Monk
>>takes a few steps back towards the other monks<<
Defend yourselves, brothers!
With Ecthain's holy protection we'll surely crush these barbarians.

>>BATTLE<<



>>Battle is over<<



Ivan
Hmm. I guess that went as expected, more or less.
Now I can add killing monks to the long list of things that burden my conscience.

Ysabel
You goin' soft or something?
We asked 'em to leave nicely, and they wouldn't.
What else are we s'posed to do?

Vadim
No worries.
Them n' these priestlings weren't even to prayin' at the rightly gods.

Tevoran
Now is hardly the time for idle chatter!
We must go quickly to their inner sanctum and finish the task at hand. Follow me!



Tevoran (intimidating)
Attention please, ye servants of the miserable religion of Ecthain! This is your final warning to flee before the commencement of our dreadful onslaught!

Monk
>>steps forward<<
Pay no heed to this fiend's poisonous words!
We must hold our ground, brothers!

Tevoran
Fool!
This you do at your own peril.
Alas, but we must continue forward!

>>BATTLE<<



>>Battle is over<<



Ivan
So, is that it?
Can we go now?

Tevoran
Hardly! We must scour this hive of degeneracy to ensure that all its inhabitants have truly been dispatched from this mortal plane!

Ysabel
There's gotta be some sort of boss of these guys runnin' around somewhere. Didn't one of those monks say somethin' about a "Father Otis"?

Tevoran
Let us then hunt down this so-called "Otis" and be done with this somewhat questionable errand of ours!

Casimir
If it pleases you all, might I suggest taking a short break to reorganize before moving forward?

Vadim
Mine has agreeance with yonder old bogo.
I were needin' to swap out my feekly drawers.

Tevoran (annoyed)
What a shameful lack of preparedness!
Nonetheless I'll indulge your suggestion, if only to silence your tiresome complaints. Do be quick about it!

Ecthanian Church, Stairs
Evening 29.Jul.1427

[Submachine]

Ecthanian Church, Stairs
Evening 29.Jul.1427



Tevoran (serious)
I hope you lot are ready, for we will now proceed without further delays!

>>Tevoran and company start walking upstairs but stop when they see a bunch of monks enter the top door<<

Ivan
This must be the aforementioned Otis.

Otis
I am indeed Father Otis, priest of the Tiervan Mission of the Holy Church of Ecthain!

Who are you awful people? We seek only to spread the gospel of our divine lord, and yet you march through our holy sanctum on a murderous rampage.

Tevoran (intimidating)
We are who we are. You, on the other hand, hide behind your lofty platitudes while covertly seeking to ban pornography and infiltrate Tierva's government!

Ivan (to Tevoran)
I think that was just a certain someone's personal delusion.

Ysabel (to Ivan)
Shut up!
This might get interesting.

Otis (smiling)
You reek of blood and untold sins.
It's not too late to turn from your evil ways and open your hearts to the love of Ecthain.

Tevoran (annoyed)
Evil?! What cruel insults you nonchalantly hurl! I warn you - do not test my temper. Return now to Vorona, or prepare for a premature meeting with your lord.

Otis (disappointed)
So you fools are immune to reason? Very well.
My lord has granted me a mighty gift, and with it I shall cast you wretches into eternal torment!

>>BATTLE<<



Otis
Ugh...
Ecthain, grant me strength...
I cannot give in yet...

>>Battle is over<<



Otis (disappointed)
You blasphemous fools will never know my defeat.
Ecthain shall ensure your punishment.

>>Otis stands up and vanishes<<

Ivan (shocked)
...Tell me I'm not the only one who saw that.

Ysabel
Yeah, the guy just kinda vanished into thin air.

Ivan
Never mind how he was throwing around lightning bolts.
That's really not normal last time I checked.
What exactly is going on here?

Tevoran (annoyed)
Your only concern should be our opponent's temerity in daring to flee us! Focus your anger upon him and cease your questionable observations!

>>everyone except Ivan starts moving forward<<

Ivan
Shouldn't figuring this out be just a little more important to you all?

Ysabel (from a distance)
Ah, who cares.
I ain't gonna waste my time thinkin' about it.
The job's almost over anyway.

Ivan
>>starts moving on with the others<<
Damn it!
You people are hopeless...!

Ecthanian Church, Upper Room
Evening 29.Jul.1427



>>Tevoran and company enter a new room and take battle stance<<

Acolyte
It's the heathens!
Ecthain, have mercy!

Tevoran
Mercy, as it happens, is my bread and butter.
Therefore I shall reiterate my earlier command one last time - leave Tierva at once!

Otis
I tire of this! I'll not waste my time dealing further with those who are already damned. Now, behold the true extent of the powers granted to me!

>>Otis vanishes again and reappears at the far end of the room<<

>>BATTLE<<



Otis
Ecthain...!
Why have you forsaken me...?



>>Otis collapses<<
>>Battle is over<<



Ivan
So, uh... back to what I was saying before.
We didn't just see the "divine power" of Ecthain, did we?

Tevoran (annoyed)
Fool! Don't speak such absurdities. This "Ecthain" is naught more than a ludicrous fancy created by foolish ascetics with excessive time on their hands.

Ysabel
It is kinda weird, with the way he was jumpin' around the room and all.

Tevoran (thinking)
I would suggest it's some sort of mass delusion.
Let's all work together to ignore such dubious phenomena in the future.

Ivan (annoyed)
Look, it's hard to ignore people trying to shoot lightning up my ass from across the room.

Ysabel
Worry about it on yer own time.
We're done here, ain't we?
I'm leavin'.

>>Tevoran and company are about to leave when a fat monk woman enters the room<<

Tevoran (alerted)
Brace yourself, men!
The final boss approaches!

Vadim
Such a hefto what's yonder were more like to eatin' the boss than bein' such.

Nun
Finally, I get shiny stone from girly priest!
Is it you people who kill these monks?

Tevoran (calm)
Kill? We've done no such thing!
That their bodies have stopped moving is purely coincidental, I assure you.

Nun (smiling)
Ha, ha! You are funny man.
And very handsome, too.
Not like filthy monks.

Ysabel
She don't seem all that hostile, considerin' the state of her comrades.

Nun (frowning)
Comrades? Bah! I join Church of Ecthain as nun, to live with many strong, strapping men. But monks here are not interested in Oksana, and only to liking other monks.

Ivan
Wait a minute.
You seriously joined this church to hook up with guys?!

Oksana
Was great mistake, I know. Very boring here. I only cook and clean all day for many months! But then, priest one day gets red stone necklace and I'm again interested.

Tevoran
Red stone?
Is that the origin of that priest's bizarre power?

Oksana
>>holds up the necklace she secretly took from Otis' body<<
Person with stone can to making great magic.
Heal injury, smite enemy, many things. But it is not working for everyone! You must have certain talent.

>>Oksana casts lightning in front of Tevoran<<
>>Tevoran recoils in surprise<<

Fat priest had talent, but Oksana's is stronger, maybe?
And now priest is dead, and stone is mine!
Ohohohoho.

Ysabel
Ya certainly don't act like any nun I ever met around here.

Oksana (smiling)
Religion of Ecthain is not like Niendai religion.
In Niendam, what pleases gods is fighting, eating, drinking, singing and always very much sexing!

God of Voros, this Ecthain, is very boring god!
He is only to liking the quiet praying and reading of books. Niendai gods much better, I think.

And now monks are all dead.
Oksana can't cook or clean for dead monks.
Maybe it's time to go back to motherland?

Tevoran
Act not so hastily! Not only are you a practitioner of the domestic arts, but that stone of yours would verily be a great boon to my endeavors.

Allow me to make a formal introduction.
I am Edwin Tevoran, of Tevoran and Company. I don't suppose you would be willing to work under me?

Oksana (excitedly steps forward)
Ohohoho!
You are very dirty man!
Oksana can "work" under, over, sideways, upside down...

Ivan (disgusted)
U-ugh...
>>vomits on the ground<<

Tevoran (turns away, eyes closed)
Damnation and hellfire! I'm making you an offer of employment, not a proposition for acts of debauchery!
That would be young Mr. Vaclav's domain.

Ivan
Hey!
Leave me out of this!

Oksana (smiling)
That is attractive proposition, to working around such fine specimens of manhood.
I accept with whole heart!

Ysabel
>>crosses arms<<
You sure this is such a good idea, old man? Lately it's like ya can't go a week without hirin' someone new.
Our place is gettin' crowded enough as it is.

Ivan
YOU think it's a bad idea?
What do you have to worry about?

Vadim
Truthy, that. Yonder old udderbag threats to pilfer my skeetlings in my sleepage, ya dig?
Whyfor ain't we to just takin' her stone?

Tevoran (annoyed)
I'll not take advice from hooligans! My own wisdom transcends your vulgar mutterings. Has our unflagging success of late not convinced you all of this?

Ysabel
Not at all, actually, but....
Ah, what the hell. If she's actually gonna cook n' clean, I guess it can't be all bad.

Tevoran
It's settled, then!
Let us leave this bloodstained place of degeneracy and collect our bounty.

>>Oksana joined the party<<

[Submachine]

Tevoran's Hideout, Tierva
Evening 29.Jul.1427

New codex entries:

Spoiler for Oksana:

Spoiler for Otis:

Episode Four
Tierva, August 05 1427

Pagoya Hole



Ivan
So what's the occasion for taking us out to such a fine establishment?
There's barely any rats or roaches here.

Ysabel
Yeah, you're normally a hell of a lot more stingy.
What gives? Shouldn't all of our profits be goin' into yer pipe?

Tevoran (frowning)
My generosity is legendary, and don't pretend otherwise!
As any good captain knows, I must keep my troops well-fed and well-liquored if I'd maintain my position.

(calm)
Our celebration is doubly justified, as I've found another most lucrative mission for us to undertake.
But be warned - some travelling lies ahead of us!

Ysabel
You say it like it's a bad thing?
I'd love to get the hell outta this shit-stinkin' sewer of a town for even half a day.

Ivan
So where's our destination?

Tevoran
A local "businessman" has complained of his underlings being "disappeared" by a rogue trading partner, and we must "put a stop to it".

(serious)
To do so we must venture to Masori, a city located to the east. For expedience's sake we'll journey there on the deplorable vehicle you know as the "train".

Ivan
What sort of people do you deal with to get jobs like these? I was hoping we could "put a stop to" someone who actually deserves it for once.

Ysabel (unimpressed)
That's a funny thing for you of all people to say.
Don't tell me you're goin' soft on us all of a sudden.

Tevoran
If our enemies have the distasteful habit of falling onto our weapons, there is precious little we can do about that!

>>a blue-haired girl enters the pub and bumps into two armored mercenaries<<
>>one of the mercenaries drops his beer, then both stand up<<

Vadim
Hoi, some static were to be startin' therewise.

Mercenary (grinning)
Mine gott, what haff we got here, Bernard?

Bernard (angry)
>>walks next to the girl<<
Dis girl has caust me to spill mine entire beer wiss her walkings into us, Claude.

Claude (grinning)
>>walks in front of the girl<<
Ya, dat is going to be a problem.
How will you den be paying mine brosser back now, you puny ssing?

Girl (gasping)
...!

Ivan
Those guys look kind of dangerous.
And completely identical.

Tevoran
An astute observation! By their look I'd guess them to rank among the "Redshields", a notably inbred and brutal mercenary corps from Vorona's rural outskirts.

Ivan
They're a bit far from home if that's true.

Bernard (angry)
I am rapidly becoming very ssirsty for lack of mine spillt beer.
Where's de money, girl?

Girl (timid)
I...uh...

Claude (grinning and sweating)
Perhaps we will need to find... anosser way for you to pay us back, ya?

Oksana (serious)
Young girl is very much in trouble.

Ysabel (angry, arms crossed, eyes closed, teeth clenched)
>>impatiently tapping the ground with her foot while shaking from anger<<
Yeah, this is too irritating to ignore.

>>Ysabel jumps on the table with her crossbow out<<

Ivan (curious)
Wait.
You're not actually about to help her, are you?
Who's the one going soft, now?

Ysabel
Oh, piss off. Unlike you I actually got morals -
at least when it matters.
I don't feel like lettin' those guys get away with this.

>>Ysabel shoots an arrow to the back of Claude<<
>>the pub musicians stop playing and every employee and other guests leave in a hurry<<

Claude (angry)
Ach! Someone dares to shoot at de mighty Redshielt?

Bernard (angry)
Who woult foolishly provoke de wrath of such mighty titans as we?
Show yourselfs now.

Ysabel (smiles mockingly)
>>aims the crossbow at the Redshields<<
Right over here, ya blind goon.
Why don'tcha both get the fuck outta here before ya get shot in a place ya might not like so much?

Bernard (serious)
Stupid wench, your words are dangerous.
You and your companions are all as little chiltren to us.
Prepare to be conquered completely!

>>BATTLE<<



Bernard
Dis is not over, you cretins!

Claude
Ach! I am not finished wiss you!

>>Battle is over<<



Bernard (furious)
Don't ssink you have defeatet us!
Dis is not over!

Claude
Ya, we will find you again and ssrash you wissout mercy.

>>the Redshield mercenaries leave the building<<

Ivan
They took a beating like that and still walked away?
Were those guys even human?

Oksana (excited)
Those men were like Niendan bear!
I must to visiting rural zone of Vorona some day.

Ysabel (angry)
Where'd that girl go?
Geez. The least she could do is thank me.

Bartender
>>comes out from behind the bar counter<<
Vile people! Swine-bastards! This is all your fault!
My tavern is in shambles!
What do you have to say for yourselves?!

Tevoran
>>glares at the bartender<<
Shameless ingrate!
You should be thanking us for casting those wretched mercenaries from this decrepit hovel you call a tavern!

Ysabel
Hell, you should pay for our tab at the very least.
This place is a dump! The beer sucks. The music sucks too, and the whole place smells like a fuckin' outhouse.

Bartender (outraged)
This is the finest alehouse in all of Tierva!
I should beat your brains out for your insults!

Tevoran (menacing, serious)
>>slowly takes a few steps towards the bartender<<
I should welcome the attempt! Ere you'd venture the clumsy swinging of your oafish fist in my direction, I would slice your corpulent form into meat-ribbons!

Ivan
Okay, I think it's time to go.
It's not exactly practical to go around hacking up everyone who crosses us.

Bartender
That's right!
Begone already, you savage lot, before I have every watchman in Tierva chasing you down!

Tevoran (annoyed)
'Tis true - we must keep our present mission foremost in our minds! Surely this scoundrel's establishment will collapse from its inherently poor quality.

(calm)
>>towards his group<<
Tomorrow approaches rapidly. Let us know a short respite before our coming efforts. But first, we must flee! I shan't be spending the night in the city jail.

Ysabel
Whatever.
It's all the same to me.

>>Tevoran and company leave the building<<

Bartender
Guards, guards!
Aren't there any accursed guards in this damnable town?!
Hello?!

[Submachine]

Tevoran's Hideout, Tierva
Evening 5.Aug.1427

New codex entries:

Spoiler for Bernard:

Spoiler for Claude:

Spoiler for Redshield:

Tierva, Train station



Tevoran (impatient)
In mere minutes the so-called "train" shall arrive and whisk us off to Masori.

Ivan
Aren't we supposed to buy tickets or something?

Tevoran
>>furrows his eyebrows<<
Only fools waste their money on such things!
As an erstwhile taxpayer, I am most certainly entitled to ride this foul vehicle for free.

Ysabel
>>looks towards the entrance<<
I ain't opposed on principle or anything, but...
You do realize that guard can hear everyting we're sayin', right?

Guard
>>walks up to the group<<
Wait a minute.
You're the scum who's been making trouble all over Tierva, ain't you?

Tevoran
Certainly not! We are harmless Masori-bound pilgrims, ready to engage in all manner of charitable giving as well as gratuitous cuddling of kittens.

Guard
Yeah, right. You're Edwin Tevoran, as rotten a bastard as ever lived, wanted for a legion of crimes against our city!
I thought we ran you out of Tierva months ago.

Tevoran (annoyed)
Outrageous! I'll not have you besmirch the good name of Lord Tevoran, who I do most certainly not happen to be, with your libelous smears!

Guard
No matter.
I hope you're prepared to be brought to justice!

>>turns around<<
Hey, I could use some backup here!

>>reinforcements arrive<<

>>BATTLE<<



>>Battle is over<<



Guard
It's not over yet!
More reinforcements are on their way to smite you as we speak!

>>Vadim flips off the guards<<

Ivan (sarcastic)
The fun never ends for us, does it?!

>>the guards notice something near the entrance<<

Ysabel
Whatever.
It ain't like it'll take long to get rid of these guys.

Guard
Ye gods!
Help, help!

>>the guards retreat<<

Tevoran
See!
They know well that we are not to be trifled with.

>>two people walk in<<

Claude
Ach, mine brosser.
Look who we haff stumblet upon.

Bernard
Ya, it seems it is de puny chiltren from last night.

Ivan
Oh, come on!
These guys again?
Like we've got the time to deal with you all right now.

Ysabel
Didn't we already kick the shit out of you?
Go home to yer mother, would ya?

Claude (grinning)
Not so hasty, noisy wench.
Beholt your state of surroundetness!
We haff brought de whole family to seek vengeance.

>>two more Redshields appear on the other side of the railway<<

Bernard
Allow me to introduce our beloved brossers,
Ludwick and Henrick, who will also be ssrashing you very soon now.

Tevoran (annoyed)
I do beg to differ!
Rest assured that even in numbers you are no match for Tevoran and Company!

Bernard
Bah! Enough waiting.
Let us now smash zem wiss impunity.

>>the blue-haired girl from earlier walks in from behind Bernard<<

Ysabel
What the hell?
It's that girl again...?

Bernard (menacing grin)
Oh? De tiny girl has come back?
You are lusting uncontrollably for mine hefty bratwurst or somessing?

Girl (angry)
...No.

>>the girl jumps up and eats Bernard's right ear<<
>>blood sprinkles from Bernard's ear and blood drips from the girl's mouth<<

(smiling)
Enjoy!

>>the girl casually walks away<<

Bernard (in pain)
Ach, dis girl has bit off mine precious ear!
De pain, it is intolerable!

Ivan (increduled)
S-shit!
Did she seriously just...?

Tevoran (thinking)
...How serendipitous!
It seems now is our opportunity to strike!

>>BATTLE<<



Bernard
I cannot be dying!
I must punish you wissout ending!



Claude
Ach...at least I shall die wiss all ears intact!



>>Battle is over<<



Tevoran
It seems we owe you our gratitude, girl.
Whoever might you be?

Girl (thinking)
...?
Aizu?
Aizu of...Setora?

Ivan
Was that an answer or another question?
You sound a little confused.

Aizu
...

Tevoran (annoyed)
Such an uncouth articulation! Have you no manners?!
Nowhere in the civilized world is "..." an acceptable manner of response!

Aizu (gasping)
...!

Tevoran
>>turns away from the girl in annoyance<<
I-incorrigible!
What ARE you?!

Ysabel
Don't listen to him.
Looks like we're even now... whoever you are.

Oksana
Best to stay away from hulking Redshield men!
You are very scrawny. How will you to luring them into bed without prodigious child-bearing hips?

Ysabel
This might be news to you, lady, but not all women are out lookin' to get every guy they see into the sack.

>>Aizu walks away without anyone noticing<<

Tevoran
Let us focus, people!
Do stow away your incomprehensible female ramblings for a time when I'm not within earshot.

Ysabel (annoyed)
Someone oughta stow you away!

Ivan
Are you guys done?
That girl wandered off while you were ranting.
...I think we missed the train, by the way.

Tevoran (annoyed)
Another one will arrive eventually! Are children in your degenerately rustic homeland not taught patience?
'Tis the noblest virtue!

>>looks at the train tracks<<

Any minute now...

[Submachine]

The next day, in Masori



Vadim
This were Masori?
Ain't much for seein', nevermind all howsit folks were bespeaked o' the heavy cash skeeted about.

Tevoran
Your distinct lack of culture is glaringly obvious, boy!
'Tis a lovely city, I assure you, plump with worthy sights.
They elude my mind at the moment, but do ignore that.

>>the groups walks down the station stairs<<

Ivan
So anyway, now that we're here, who is it that we're supposed to go after?

Tevoran
We seek a dreadful man known only as "Czartorysk".
As I said before, he's the rogue responsible for capturing the servants of the fellow who gave us this mission.

Ysabel
So where are we s'posed to find this guy?

Tevoran
That aspect of my grand scheme has yet to be fleshed out, unfortunately. I suppose we must ask passersby for assistance in locating our target.

Ivan
Somehow I'm not surprised that you'd come here without preparing in any way.

Ysabel (angry)
Great, so we're stuck havin' to kill time in this dump of a city.

Tevoran (annoyed)
Your negativity is most unbecoming! Go visit the market if boredom inflicts you to such degree.
We don't know what sort of hideous battle awaits us!

Masori Station
Afternoon 6.Aug.1427



New codex entries:

Spoiler for Aizu:

Spoiler for Bernard+:

Spoiler for Masori:

Tevoran (serious)
We approach our enemy's fortress of sin as we speak.
The sense of foreboding chills my very bones!

Ivan
The few people willing to direct us here spoke of the place with dread. Or was it disgust?
Maybe a bit of both.

Ysabel
So it's a rough part of town. Who the hell cares?
Let's get to the fightin' already!

Tevoran
Very good! Let's examine the premises and see how any defenses might best be breached. But be cautious!
I'm told our opponent is a devious one.

>>Tevoran and Company go deeper in the alleyway until they reach a massive gate<<
>>on the far side of the alleyway, a busty girl in a red dress stands on top of several crates<<

Vadim (astonished)
Holy balls!
Have a see at the udds what hang from yonder broad.

Ysabel
Ugh. Leave it to you to check out a skank like her.
She looks like a common gutter whore.

Woman (mildly taken aback)
Gutter whore?!
What temerity!
I'm a lady of refinement and elegance.

Tevoran
I've no concerns with your tales of licentiousness, miss.
Unless, of course, you're conducting some lewd business with the master of this place.

Woman (casual)
With the master of this place, huh?
What the hell do you people think you're doing wandering around here anyway?

Ysabel (annoyed)
>>draws crossbows and takes aim at the woman<<
Quit wastin' our time.
Just tell us where this Czartorysk prick is and we'll let ya go unscathed.

Woman (smiling)
There's only one Czartorysk left in this city, and you're speaking to her. Zofia Czartoryska is the name. Now, can you tell me why you're trespassing on my land?

Ivan (to Tevoran)
Wait a minute.
Don't tell me she's the actual target?

Tevoran
Impossible! Our targets are of such an ilk as drug-addicted nobles and perfidious monks, not bizarre pig-tailed trollops such as she!

Ysabel (furious)
You dumb assholes!
Of course she's the goddamn target!
Now, c'mon, let's take her out!

Tevoran (thinking)
Be not so quick to violence, girl! It is only honorable to first inform our opponent, slovenly though she seems, the reasons for her impending capture and/or death.

Zofia
How gentlemanly of you, whoever you are.
So, who sent you and what'd I do to them?

Tevoran
Ah! Do forgive my rudeness, miss.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am Edwin Tevoran, and we are Tevoran and Company.

Zofia (innocently smiling)
Pleased to make your acquaintance, good sir.

Tevoran (serious)
In any event, a certain Tiervan businessman takes exception to you making his underlings mysteriously vanish. Beyond that I'll reveal nothing more!

Zofia (smiling)
That's fine. It narrows it down well enough.
Now, about those underlings...

>>Zofia whistles and a bunch of thugs appear from around all sides of the alleyway<<

That employer of yours sent them after me, but somehow they "vanished" right into my service.
You'd be surprised how fickle most mercenaries are!

Looks like I'll need to pay someone a small visit.
Well, thanks so much for the enlightening info, but sadly you people have outlived your usefulness. Farewell!

Tevoran
Take cover, quickly!

>>BATTLE<<



Zofia
Hey!
Do you have any idea how long it takes to wash blood off these clothes?!



>>Battle is over<<



Zofia (wounded, kneeling)
Son of a bitch...
I think you punctured my liver...

Ysabel
>>is aiming a crossbow to her head<<
Serves ya right for tryin' to ambush us.
Gutter whore.

Tevoran
Fool, to think you could challenge our might!
Will you submit at last to capture, or would you rather speak some final words?

Zofia
>>stands up and puts on a forced smile<<
I've got a better idea.
Let me cut you a deal.

Vadim (grinning)
>>starts waving at Zofia<<
Hoi, let me n' mine have a quickly toss at yer nethery,
and you'll be dealt with truthy well-like.

Tevoran
>>annoyed at Vadim<<
Silence! We'll not be accepting "physical" payments of any sort! The siren-song of this strumpet's zones of disinterest shan't be drawing us to a syphilitic doom!

Zofia (confused)
...I'm talking about money, not whatever you just said.
So the guy who put the hit out on me, what's he paying you? A thousand zloteks? I'll double it.

Tevoran
We've been offered 3000 zloteks for completing this mission!
I'll not betray my employer for less than 5000.

Zofia
Damn it. I'll give you 3500, no more.

Ysabel
I wouldn't even consider less than 6000.

Tevoran (serious)
I should ask for 60,000! Let me be so courteous as to remind you that you happen to be at our mercy, which luckily for you is bountiful!

Zofia
>>puts on a careless smile<<
Look, any more than 4000 and I'd rather be dead.
I'll even throw in this fine platinum ring, here.

Ivan
Come on! That's the pull-ring from a sardine tin.

Zofia
...4000 zloteks, plus I'll grant you three "favors" at some future date. How's that?

I'll take out one of your enemies, or bake a delicious opium cake for you, or something.
That's my final offer!

Tevoran (eyes wide open)
>>starts paying extra attention at the sound of opium<<
O-opium cake?!
Well, I, ah, I am rather fond of fine pastries now and again.

(calm)
Fine, then! It's a deal! Now, to redeem the first favor,
I demand that you prepare me an opium cake of a quality yet unconceived by mortal men!

>>pulls out a paper with a serious gaze<<
Behold my address! You'll do well to mail this cake to me with expedience. But beware! Any attempts to adulterate it with cheap hashish shan't go unpunished!

Zofia (forced smile)
What fun!
I've been meaning to do some baking anyway.

Ivan
Tevoran, you're one of the worst bargainers I've ever met.

Tevoran (annoyed)
Balderdash! Clearly 'tis beyond the primitive faculties of your foreign mind to see the sublime delight inherent in such ambrosial confections.

Ysabel (arms crossed)
You gotta be kiddin' me, old man.
How ain't it the best option to personally "put a stop to" this chick?

Tevoran (annoyed)
When you command your own company, feel free to do as you wish! As it stands I'll not stand for the wisdom of my decisions questioned so degradingly!

Zofia (unhappy)
>>pulls out a bag of coins and throws it on the ground<<
Hey.
Here's the money... now get out of here.
I need a drink like I've never needed one before.

Tevoran
>>collects the bag<<
Another resounding success for Tevoran and Company!
Celebrations must commence at once.

>>Tevoran leaves the alleyway<<

Ysabel
This whole situation is gonna bite us in the ass later, ya know.

Ivan
You don't need to tell me.

>>everyone except Zofia leaves<<

Zofia (relieved)
>>mutters to herself<<
Heh...that went better than expected.
What a bunch of weirdos. Tevoran and Company, huh?
I'll be keeping a close eye on you guys!

>>Zofia goes inside the giant gate<<

Meanwhile in Hrvain...



>>a cloaked woman stands next to a green fire in a gloomy room of a tower<<

Cloaked Woman
I feel it stronger than ever - I no longer have any doubts in my mind.

It seems the time has finally arrived...
At last, that creature has woken up!

Without question "he" will have felt it too.
I must act quickly lest he gain the upper hand in our arrangement.

Guard! Come in at once.

>>a soldier comes in and kneels down before the cloaked woman<<

Hrvain Soldier
Your will, milady?

Cloaked Woman
Assemble a squadron of soldiers and have them report to me. And make haste!
We must depart as soon as possible.

Hrvain Soldier
As you wish, milady.

>>the soldier stands up and leaves the room<<

Cloaked Woman
It seems things will be coming together more quickly than I had planned.
No matter... I hear Tierva is lovely this time of year.

End of Chapter One