Corrupt A Wish 4.0

[Plastica]

Granted, you will actually have astoundingly good luck today rather than bad; however, tomorrow you will trip on a black cat and fall through a hidden two-way mirror that leads through a hall of various ladders. When you do find your way out, a piano with quite a fatal velocity crushes you. You also faintly recall stepping on a crack or two.

I wish Adolf Hitler had inspired harmony rather than tyranny.

[CriticalError13]

Granted, you will actually have astoundingly good luck today rather than bad; however, tomorrow you will trip on a black cat and fall through a hidden two-way mirror that leads through a hall of various ladders. When you do find your way out, a piano with quite a fatal velocity crushes you. You also faintly recall stepping on a crack or two.

I wish Adolf Hitler had inspired harmony rather than tyranny.

Granted, but he had two sons who grew up to be Supreme Co-Rulers of Earth.
I wish I had an Android phone.

[BeefSupreme]

Granted, but he had two sons who grew up to be Supreme Co-Rulers of Earth.
I wish I had an Android phone.

Granted, but you drop it into the toilet upon opening the package (because you felt like opening your new phone in the bathroom).
"I wish, I wish, I wish
To every city
I wish, I wish, I wish
Every hood
I wish, I wish, I wish
And every block
I wish, I wish, I wish
Ghetto America" -R. Kelly (good luck)

[whateveruloveur]

Granted. Whatever it was that you wished for (I can't say I'm entirely sure), you got it. And then, you are forced to watch this video on repeat for the rest of your life http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdaAWFoWr2c

I wish, I wish, I wish
that video wasn't so funny.

[BeefSupreme]

Granted, but you're forced to watch the video with Buzz Killington to make it unfunny and he won't go home.

Spoiler for Hidden:

I wish people could see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

[DoubleCapitals]

Granted. Now Cinnamon Toast Crunch is banned across the world.
I wish Elements Mafia 33 can begin.

[AnonymousRevival]

Granted. But you're now 30 years older.

I wish for I wish for I wish for I wish for something.

[Submachine]

Granted. But you didn't know what you wished for, so now you must enjoy your brand new pancreatic cancer.

I wish a paintbrush.

[ChemMan13]

...Fell out of the sky and killed Steve Jobs (oh well).
I wish yo mama jokes were junny again.

[BeefSupreme]

Granted, but no one knows what "junny" means and you become a social outcast.

I wish that the word "swag" fell off the face of the Earth.

[Jyiber]

Not granted. (That's the only way that wish could go wrong.)

I wish that I'd stop having nightmares about evil penguin invasions.

[BeefSupreme]

Granted. Evil penguins ACTUALLY invade your home.

I wish that Ms. Jackson would forgive Outkast.