It's just fan fiction, and personally I think it's horrible. IMO my own version is much better:
http://www.kongregate.com/forums/22-elements/topics/74573-elements-a-short-story
I'm not gonna lie, I've never like the whole primus, secondus, trius thing. Might I post a slight revision to your tale, simply to considered?
Aeons ago, in the vast and empty void of nothingness, there was only One. There was no time, no space, no dimensions, nothing of our known, perceivable universe. There was only One.
And it was lonely.
So it decided to make others, using the only materials it had. The one split off one third of it's body, causing it much pain, and with that it made the world. First it made Time and Space. Time, with its omnipresent and immutable forward flow, marked the beginnings and ends of all phenomena. Aether, with its immaterial threads, weaved the very fabrics of space. But even as the one made Time and Aether, two more were created. Gravity, the force of absolute order, extended its pull on everything in the space created by Aether, trying to unite all into One again. And Entropy, the force of pure chaos, made space random and unpredictable in its most fundamental levels, preventing it from ever merging back into One again. The Great One's first four creations defined all laws that govern the world.
But the world was empty, bland, boring. The Great One was still alone. So, The Great One built more, using the only material it had. And it turned the next third of it's body into Fire, Water, Air, and Earth. Together, those four gave form and substance to the pure empty aether, and together, those four began to flow with time. They defined the four states of matter: the solid Earth, the liquid Water, the gaseous Air, and the plasmid Fire. Fire and Water, hot and cold, divined the energy level of the aether. Fire, with it's quick burst of energy that roared across the land, and water, with it's cool constant flow. Earth and Air, corporeal and intangible, defined the solidity of the aether. Earth, with it's rough unmoving foundation to build on, and air, with it's wide and endless horizon. Combining and mixing with each other, the next four creations of the Great One created matter, filling space with substance.
Now the world faintly resembled our own. But The Great One saw the world and realized it was still, in a sense, empty. There were no other beings of conscious thought. The Great One was still alone. So The Great One added to the world, using the only materials it had. The Great One gave it's life to add to the world one last time.
It created Life, and with Life, Death. Taking out a sliver of the very thing that made The Great One exist, into a construct of matter, Life created the first living creature. but as stated by the sacred law of Time, everything must have a beginning and an end. To prevent the living creature from growing infinitely and out of bound, Death planted a seed of itself into the creature, a seed of degeneration and decay. Thus, the creature crafted by Life could grow, reproduce, and multiply, but it would eventually die and revert back to lifeless matter.
As the creatures adapted and evolved, they grew more intelligent, and more aware of themselves. To help guide them, The Great One had left them one last memory of himself, a great star in the sky. The Light from The Great One's star shone out across the world and showed the living creatures the way. The creatures were now able to see each other’s pain and happiness, so they learned to understand and help each other. However, the Light emitted by the star could not reach everywhere; where there was no Light, there was Darkness. In the dark, creatures could only perceive themselves, and so they had become selfish, and not care for the others. Growth and decay, good and evil, those became the forces that controlled the creatures, their lives, and their societies.
Time, Aether, Gravity, Entropy, Fire, Water, Earth, Air, Life, Death, Light, and Darkness. The twelve forces that crafted the world. The Great One has long since faded away, and the twelve are all that remain. They became known as the Elements.
But soon, the Elements, too, began to fade. But because they crafted the world, they became a part of their creation instead of disappearing completely. The Elements had dissipated. But all was not lost. Tiny bits and pieces of The Great One still remained in tact. These quantities of pure divinity were known as quanta. Quanta permeated the entire world, and changed the appearances, alignments, and abilities of its inhabitants. Dragons tainted with Death became living bones, while dragons aligned with Light grew scales of pure gold. The creatures evolved even further, becoming much more diverse and powerful.
Not all quanta was used by the creatures. Due to the unifying pull of Gravity, raw, unabsorbed elemental quanta gathered into clusters of their own element. As the quanta clusters became purer and denser, they gradually became aware, because they were once a part of the great consciousnesses of the twelve Elements. Inside them lay the power and glory of The Great One. They became the first elementals.
An elemental was a being made purely of one Element, which marked their lives and destinies Save for their mark, elementals were beings of colorless, translucent energy. Elementals had the ability to absorb any form of quanta, and its mark could produce an endless supply of quanta by itself. As an elemental absorbed quanta into itself, it became stronger and more colorful. An elemental containing only Fire quanta would be a pure, fiery red, while an elemental containing a multitude of elements would have a multitude of hues.
Elementals were not like the rest of The Great Ones creations. As they were part of The Great One itself, they were of a higher level of being than the creatures. With their ability to produce and absorb quanta, they soon gained dominance over the various creatures in the world. When an elemental injected a portion of its quanta into a creature, the creature would become the elemental’s loyal servant and protect it at all costs. The elementals also learned to manipulate their quanta directly, hurling them around as spells to damage their enemies and aid themselves.
The elementals had also attempted to imitate the great Elements: they wished to create creatures themselves. Their might alone were not enough to duplicate the works of the great Elements. While the elementals did not succeed in bringing new creatures to life, they had succeeded in crafting artifacts of power. Like creatures, those artifacts could be manipulated using quanta. Unlike the creatures, the artifacts did not grow, nor did they age and decay; thus they were named permanents.
With armies of creatures, collection of permanents, and arsenals of spells under their command, some elementals began desiring for more. To achieve higher levels of power, they began assimilating the dead bodies of elementals they’ve defeated into themselves. By cannibalizing their own kind, those elementals became monstrosities. They each grew three Marks, and they commanded power unlike anything the other elementals had ever seen. They became known as the False Gods, because they sought to be the equals of the greater beings, the Elements, themselves.
Conquering and ruling with iron fists, the False Gods established a strict system of castes upon the elementals. Elementals that wield more power than others were labelled as Advanced, while great leaders of elementals were called Elders. There were those who offered their eternal loyalty and servitude to the False Gods, and in return they had gained portions of their powers; those elementals were called the Halfbloods.
Many elementals tried to topple the False Gods, but to no avail. However, one day, an extraordinary elemental was born; this elemental possessed the power of metamorphosis, the ability to change the alignment of its own Mark. Not even the False Gods possessed such an ability. Was this a sign? Perhaps this elemental, with its power to change its own Mark, was the one destined to bring down the False Gods and end their desecration. Perhaps, just perhaps, this elemental would cause the resurrection of The Great One itself…
This elemental is you, dear player. You stand before a wonderful world constantly changing and adapting. And, if you succeed in conquering other elementals, and rise above the rest, you may discover rare abilities, and perhaps even gain additional marks. And if you gain the favor of the mysterious Oracle, he may grace you with the majesty of the nymphs. But will not be an easy road. You will battle hundreds, thousands of enemies until you make a mark on the world. But it is your world. It is a beautiful world. Welcome, to the world of Elements.