Writing Competition: Elemental Rap War

[JonathanCrazyJ]

>>>Link to Soundcloud<<<

Beats, Bass, Things Deuce Hates

Introducing our protagonist,
he really is the savagest,
and nothing is as mad as his
old mindgate-master mind.

But the veteran, the general,
(whose temper is ephemeral)
when he thinks he spots an error, well
it's drama that you'll find.

He doesn't seek it out, you know, the fault ain't all on him,
but when people start to screw with aether's vault, the price of dims
will cause some trouble,
he hates to burst your bubble
but he'll laugh if the darkness market wins them a back-to-back war double.
His anger. It's blazing,
but there's calmness in his phrasing,
'Unless the price is ludicrous everybody will be phasing!'

Next the battles rage and rattle,
and the rabble will unravel their disdain, bring the pain,
bring the drama till it's time to pop champagne
for the winners.
Till then we'll point our fingers,
and wonder how this war has been demolished into splinters
by the shards,
cause you know it breaks his heart,
spending half a week deck-building when it's doomed from the start.

[deuce22]

lmao, love this

[RootRanger]

Soundcloud Link!

Spoiler for Lyrics:

You think I wouldn’t compete?
You think this was my whole plan?
To just sit on the sidelines waiting,
And only spectating like an old fan?
But I came to defeat
To gain my throne back once more
Cause secretly I’m Underworld
And I’ll return with the power of the RainBros and I’ll win War

The Warmasters unleashed me
How they begged and beseeched me
Cause war without RootRanger’s kind of a bore
And it’s more like a war in acute danger
So let’s begin the war dances
Better take battle stances
Cause every single Element in the event
Is intent on destroying their chances

When we beat you, it’s your fault
Every deck that’s in your vault
Will lose to our rainbow we don't always rush
Other times rather we bring the pain slow
And you'll have nothing to say to
The new victors when they do
Everything that we need to win
We’ll begin when our Sky Blitzing Dragons OTK you

You think I wouldn’t compete?
You think this was my whole plan?
To just sit on the sidelines waiting,
And only spectating like an old fan?
But I came to defeat
To gain my throne back once more
Cause secretly I’m Underworld
And I’ll return with the power of the RainBros and I’ll win War

At the start of the seventh round
Underworld rises from the ground
Our decks are so frightening as we make our splash
In a flash we’ll eliminate five teams
You just know we  will be deft
And no others will be left
Since we'll win every game
You’ll just cry and complain that our salvage is card theft

You’ll really need Purify quick
As your health drops from Arsenic
And with our Sundials we’ll block every creature
Their feature is stalling for miles
But if you try to stallbreak
Or play ramp decks for ramp’s sake
Then our Grabbow will rush you
And rapidly crush you to bits, easy as cake

You think I wouldn’t compete?
You think this was my whole plan?
To just sit on the sidelines waiting,
And only spectating like an old fan?
But I came to defeat
To gain my throne back once more
Cause secretly I’m Underworld
And I’ll return with the power of the RainBros and I’ll win War

[mathman101]

Rushing Thirty

Spoiler for Lyrics:

They see me bringing a Life mark
I know they're all thinking that I'm rushing thirty

Think I'm gonna rush with thirty
Think I'm gonna rush with thirty
Can a Frogtal rush with thirty
Gonna grabbow rush with thirty

I wanna stall like the veterans,
but so far they all think I'm rushing thirty.

Think I'm gonna rush with thirty
Think I'm gonna rush with thirty
Shard Golems rush with thirty
Really going to rush with thirty

I'm the one winnning the coin toss
Always drawing cards just like a boss,
play EtG, not zerg or protoss,
giving you discards and the loss.

Looking in your vault see the cards of life,
I'm gonna counter you with no strife
crying Nymphs Tears won't please the wife,
Naesala's gone and so is her knife.

Sola always brings the Frogtal
Fippe quits so he can start brawl.
Aves transmutes another voodoo doll,
So he can gain relic for a nice haul.

Who will play war with no shards,
If WMs making the Event Cards,
Vagman's kicking you in the 'nards,
while JCJ plays SoP guards!

Shard of Freedom with a blessing,
sends you out of war, so depressing,
Which deck will lose, stop the guessing,
since math and Physs are busy stressing!

Going for the top spot is a climb
Let's relax and make a drink with lime
Since I'm out of thoughts and no more rhyme,
So let's stop the raps, it's WAR TIME!

Soundcould Link

[ValerianFlame]

Dissin' the Competis'n

Spoiler for The Song:

Do I look like I'm a fool?
Come on, press your luck.
Come on kid, you're not so cool,
You're done, kid, you're stuck!

So what if I'm not in war?
I'm comin' back from the dead.
You've no soul, you've low score,
A year 'n tomorrow, in the head!

How about now, 0-1?
You're good kid, but not enough.
Here's the counter, here's the fun,
Here's the deck to make you fluff!

Are we good now, friend in need?
I'll run a swallow, and show you, too.
Otyughs runnin' wild indeed,
Sayin': "What's for breakfeast?" It's you!

You've shown me your style, but what's more?
I'm not gonna even ask.
But there's more to the lore,
I'll tell you, when I break your mask!

3-2, were those good games?
going: gl hf at the start.
Did I mean it, heck no, James,
Cause I knew I'd own you like Kevin Hart!

I'm not normally this harsh, am I?
But kid, you're a special snowflake.
If I let up, I'd be a lie,
But you're the lie, like the cake!

[JonathanCrazyJ]

Dammit Root, you've forced me to have a go at recording mine too (added to submission post)

By the way, the production on your submission is outstanding root, cool job

[Submachine]

War Winners Rap Battle - GETS SAVAGE!

Spoiler for 1:

Fire War #8 - Associated master: RootRanger

We're gonna enter this war that will go down in history
this is not an April's joke, we are aiming for victory!

You all will fall when we call the firestall,
You can't hack our Raging Robot master's firewall.

The desire to reach higher makes team fire really dire.
With this tiger attire we're rolling like a burning tire.

We ended War 8 with our performance highly rated,
But unlike the dimshield noobs, our victory was celebrated.

Like the feather of a phoenix, flickering with grace,
Global Warming just started, we reign this place!

Spoiler for 2:

Death War #4

Looks like someone hotheaded took over the mic.
I'll take that. You talking? Hell, that sh*t ain't right.

You won War with a deck that requires no skill, you cheater.
Anyone can do that, you are just copying Aether.

With Firestall, you truly are just camper strategists,
but to take out campfires, we only need to piss.

Unlike you, we won with cards like Skeleton and Virus.
You are the true skeletons here, but weaker than Papyrus.

Remember this losers from beneath your graveyards:
We won war with skill and not some stupid strong cards.

Spoiler for 3:

Darkness War #9 - Associated master: Physsion

Do excuse the interruption of your nonsense spouting,
I couldn't help but notice the hellish and deadly shouting.

Skill is a powerful trait. If you have faith that's great mate,
but if what you state is out-of-date then I rate 0/8.

Your victory was undeserved, it was not bright or pretty.
You beat Light, because the Warmasters showed you some pity.

Your time has decayed now, I'm the current pimp, pricks.
Now to pacify Fire to stop them measuring their **cks.

Before you bring up your reign, here's a lesson you fools:
anyone can beat dimshield noobs if they don't read the rules.

Spoiler for 4:

But who is this next opponent?

That's enough. I've heard enough crap from all of you.
I'll come down and show you what a REAL star can do.

Your words do not sting, because I am the King,
now listen you farts, this game is about...

Spoiler for Hidden:

AETHER, EVERY WAR EVER* - Associated master: deuce22
(*except when there are shards, apparently)

STUPID STRONG CARDS!

I win all the wars with the MOTHER F****NG TRUMP CARDS!
All your war belong to our MOTHER F****NG TRUMP CARDS!

The awards I gather, it has to do with the trump cards.
People say there's a pattern, but I just use the trump cards.

I give zero f**ks you tryhards, you can't keep up the pace.
I take all my nymph- and mark cards and shove them in your face!

We're most popular in auctions, the players say I cheat,
but I just abuse the broken rules against the teams I beat.

Who needs skill when our cards are most reliable?
Didn't you know, idiots? Fractal anything is viable!



(Still Relevant:

&feature=youtu.be&t=2m31s)

I'M NOT A RAPPER

[Solaris]

Submission phase has ended! Thanks for the submissions, everyone who submitted, and thank you in advance to everyone who votes

Voting Thread Link