The Adventures of a Flyingcat in Elements
Once upon a time, there was a flyingcat who lived in the Crucible. He spent his days napping, flying, and eating fish. He lived a happy life without a care in the world. One day, as he was flying along the fluffy clouds, he spotted a weird glowing crystal.
‘What did Mom say about these things again? Something about not touching? I forget’ he thought to himself.
Just as he reached out to touch the totally not suspicious crystal, there was a bright flash, and when the light faded away, the flyingcat went with it.
“What is this? Never seen no creature like it! Or any card for that matter!”
“Could it be a new addition by our almighty lord and savior Zanzarino?”
“ I don’t think Zanzarino would add no card this ugly!”
The flyingcat slowly awoke to the sound of voices. In front of him were some of the oddest… things he had seen. To his left was some sort of leech that was burrowed underground. To his right, there was a green and leafy plant that was contently soaking up water.
“Where am I?” he asked, “I just touched this glowing crystal!”
“You don’t know where you are?” the leech chuckled, “You’re in the magical world of Elements! Although I must say, I’ve never seen no card like you before.”
“Elements? What’s that?” the flyingcat asked
“It’s this wonderful world with many creatures who strive to become the very best, like no one ever was.” the leech responded, “Oh look, I’m going to evolve!”
All of a sudden, the leech was gone, and in it’s place was a mantis-like creature. All of a sudden, the mantis and the leafy plant lunged forward, with claws and leaves poised to strike. The mantis shrieked in triumph as his claws connected with… something, while the leafy plant bounced off.
“Argh, I just hate these Gravity Shields!” the plant screeched in frustration.
“I don’t understand, what’s going on?” the flyingcat timidly asked, “What are you guys doing?”
“Ah, we didn't explain no good, did we?” the mantis replied, “We’re trying to beat up the other elemental.”
“Look out, there’s an Otyugh and a Momentum on top of it!” the plant replied in somewhat of a panic.
“What’s an Otyugh?”
“Well, it eats smaller things and gets bigger and bigger to eat more things. Mr. Shrieker over there is probably toast” the plant replied casually, “I’d say you're next, since I have too much HP.”
The Otyugh devoured the mantis in one fell swoop, training it’s greedy eyes onto the plant. It’s gaping maw opened wide, and a blast of it's rancid breath came towards the flyingcat.
“Wait no, this isn’t supposed to be happening! Did Zanzarino change the game mechanics AGAIN?” the plant screamed in fear and confusion, “SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEEE!!!”
The Otyugh closed it’s jaws on the plant, and started cleaning it’s teeth with a hammer. It soon trained it’s hungry eyes on the trembling flyingcat. However, right as it’s carnivorous teeth were about to close on the flyingcat, it suddenly froze and grew very large.
“Come quickly!” a sweet mellifluous voice drifted out, “I am the Auburn Nymph. Perhaps I can help you?”
“T-thank you,” the flyingcat managed to stutter out, “I’m very grateful for your help. May I ask where we’re going?”
“We’re going to The Oracle, he can sort you out!” The Nymph sweetly answered, “He and I are on very good terms. I believe that he has the magical power to send you back home.”
“Wow, really?” the flyingcat asked in amazement, “I bet he’s a super cool guy!”
“Don’t hold your breath,” the Nymph muttered sarcastically.
After a few more hours of travelling, they finally arrived at the Oracle’s hut.
“Honey, I brought him~!” the Nymph said in a sing-song tone.
“Huh? Oh yeah, the thing Zanzarino told me to fix,” The Oracle grunted, “Stupid CIA section getting random things added all the time. I swear, if Zanzarino adds another 1 cost 12 attack creature, I'm going to... ARGH. So, uh, let me whip out my magical portal to send you back to the Crucible. You're not getting added until your creator learns to NOT make underpowered cards. Zanzarino coming back and adding all these new things, changing all these game mechanics! Makes me wish he was still MIA! I needed to remind him five times today that this is NOT a live action game, this is NOT a MOBA, and this game WILL require grinding."
The Oracle whipped out his magic crystal and said, "Now back to the Crucible you go, stupid cat!"
And the cat went back to the Crucible, and stayed there happily ever after.
