inthisroom, you forgot you have a backdoor, I have escaped from there. I left a note there though 
well, looks like I have a lot of mixed feelings about this. Felt like expressing here somewhat. I think it will make me feel better.
I did not realise this will hit me quite hard, I think I felt like losing a big part of myself.
Is it weird that I am actually... mourning? I have a sleepless night thinking about my steammachine deck that failed me, and how I failed my last deck, it always happen to me in final match, thinking of using back bonewall with cc, or using back discord deck, but stupidly make up a new deck without considering wisely. I could not sleep at all last night, and I felt like I have lost something important.
truth be told, I know I deserved this. I have 12 upgrades, and inthisroom has 17 upgrades. and I speedbuilt 7 out of the 9 decks for my trials, and inthisroom kinda rushed me, since he derped with the timing, but then I should have made my decks early.
during the decks preparation, I have final exam, and inthisroom has tour de france, so we suggested weekend to play our matches. then turns out after the finals, I have to go back to my hometown early, and I have been in my home during the weekends, and with family reunion and such, I have barely time to make preparations. thus the delay until monday to play our matches.
I have no idea why I kinda give up the trial this time, I think I am really burnt out a little. I have been joining war 5 and war 6, and I know if I am the master again, I will lead another war for the third time, and I have been considering whether I should lead again. I am quite burnt out during war 5, but I enjoyed it, then took trials, and lead war 6, and that really took a toll on me, leading a team who got demotivated, only 2 person most of the time buiding the vault for weeks, I am quite burnt out, have been sleeping at 2am to 6 am my time for the sake of war, since I am the only eastern player, and I was late for the last day of auction due my real life stuff, and I have to bid high on a lot of new players, and thus, even when they are online in western timeline, not much discussions to be done, since they are all waiting for me. the real discussions only start at 2 am when I am online in my war chat, and for 12 weeks(?) I struggle, and almost flung my real life exam, but luckily everything turn out alright.
war 5 is tiring, but I enjoy them, and then I become the master for
, and lead war 6, but it is very tiring for me already, then guilds start, and it was quite active and busy at the beginning, though the guild died down now. I am still managing the guild points, no idea why. at the beginning, managing the guild with quest and guild tournaments took a lot of my time, with the zombie quest and such. I enjoy them, tiring it may be. Then the next moment, I join brawl, and again the cycle continues, with me spending 6 weeks staying up late at night again, since I am the boss I tried to be active as much as possible for the brawl team. I am so glad it work. then comes this trial again, and I was going into final year soon, and the prospect of going for a third war to be honest frightened me. I am approaching my final year, and I have no idea how it will go, and my war will start around the beginning of my final year, which is the toughest. I realise I lack some passion after roseriya I think, told me I seem to lack confidence or something when ask me about war and such.
In other words, I have no idea why I still plans to defend my title, when I keep worrying about my final year and my third war. I started to felt tight before the war starts. during the last 2 wars I spend all my free time in war chat, helping out and testing decks. If I am not in lecture, or class, or oncall, I am in war chat helping out. I kinda felt the pressure before the third war starts, and my good friend neuroleptics also discuss and talk with me about this. we both kinda realise how much it will take our time soon enough.
I felt irresponsible with my actions, because
meant something else to me, and in this forum I have never felt so fun representing fire against other element, trying to lead them.
is not something physical to me, burning and such.
is part of the personality I have, this forum gives me a chance to have fun with my imagination. I have not met any games or any forums which give me this opportunity. however, after 2 wars continuously, then heavy guild activity at the beginning, then brawl again, seems to tire me out. elements seems to be a job instead of fun, and I have fun doing other stuff, be it games, and thus I spent very little time in elements suddenly. I cannot believe this is how I reacted for this trial, during the master tourny, due to my busy schedule, I did not have the chance to play with calindu on weekdays, and was given a lost. then against jenkar, we have difficulty finding time with my uni derping its line, and I barely have time to play with shantu. thus I only receive 3 points. then for phase 3, we have 1 week to answer questions and getting votes, but I felt like a burden, because there is exam going on, and I want to relax, and elements is not helping. I only answered all the questions on the last day of phase 3, and I think I miss a lot of votes there, since many have voted earlier I think. I know some of the voters who vote for me in last trial end up voting other participant, I can just feel it. I have never felt so alone, with many friends including my most active friend, neuroleptics leaving elements. I felt like all this is a chore, and since I do not have time in chat to talk to, I felt kinda alone. go ward round, go class, taking care of patient, then sleep, then spend my rest time for any elements activity.
Do not get me wrong, it is not an issue that arise from trial, but something that happen after a long time in elements, which changes to a chore for me slowly. When I was back in my hometown now, I spend the time with my family and friends, and in the end, even though I was given 14 days for phase 4, I only spend 1 hour for phase 4, which is before my final battle.
I want to enjoy this final battle, and I will accept any result, and I thought that whether I win or lose, it does not matter, so why did I felt like I lost something? is it because I have spent 2 wars in fire element, from being a mere member to becoming a general, won a trial, got fire champion in budokan for my first event, then after being a master, leading fire team, becoming fire guild commander, then winning the brawl for team fire, and
suddenly I am no longer a fire master, I felt like losing something? I think that is the case, now that I have lost it, I start to value the title. maybe that title remind me of all the things I have done for
( or for me at least). I should have been more responsible, and I have forgotten the 20+ members who voted for me. I am sorry to disappoint you guys with this attitude. it is just that all my real life friends in forum have left, and my old friend in main chat( 2 of them) seem to support others participants, and I felt alone.
I have forgotten about the other 20+ voters, and vangelios, thank you for you private message yesterday. I... appreciate it. I really do, vangelios. I am sorry I fail all the 20+ voters with this attitude of mine. Then again, I am very glad. I may not have the time, but yet I am not ready to let go this mastership, or else I believe I may have not defended.
So, with this loss, I felt....free? I think I will mourn for a day or 2, then I will be jovial again, and enjoy this temporary release from elements. Oh yes, I say temporary,because elements is fun, and I am not leaving. I think I really needed a break after all the 2 wars, guild, and brawl, so I will be watching from the sides this time. I will get active again when I think I am ready and have more free time in my hand. ya, as I am typing this, I felt relax. I won't have a headache choosing between war and final year and many things now.
Ok, time to post the decks, and some descriptions. truth be told I am so disappointed for match 4. I am using a 6 upgraded steam machine deck against a firestall, and lo and behold I draw all 4 squids, and no steam machine until I draw more than half of my deck. If I had draw 2 steam machine, it is an easy win. I make a simulator with 200 games, and my steammachine deck won with 93% winrate, I was utterly disappointed to be honest with rng. with my attitude for this trial I guess RNG does not side me at all, not to mention 2 serious mistakes. we got the timer wrong, and since inthisroom need to leave for tour de france, and I hurried a lot of mistake.
deck 1 LOSS
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5f7 5fb 5fb 5fb 5fb 5fb 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5ia 7f2 7f2 7f2 7gr 7gr 7gr 7h2 7h2 7h2 7h2 7h2 7h2 8ppoh men.. I use a stallbreaker because I want inthisroom to be afraid of using stalls. by removing my bolts, he remove my stall, so I have to rush. and he may just begin with a stall. had squids in case. turns out, inthisroom manage to draw 2 bolts for 2 of my squid. I make a mistake here, in my attempt to keep up I rage my steamies. I should have rage the chargers, removing 7 damage against me, instead of extra early 5 damage which can be recompensated. steam machine deck usually cause an overkill with a huge damage. turns out I lose by a turn. if he did not draw 2 bolts for my 2 squids, I may have blocked his damage. talking about misplay, I should have killed his first charger.
deck 2 WON
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4so 595 595 595 595 595 595 5f2 5f2 5f2 5f2 5f2 5f2 5fc 5fc 5fc 5fc 5fc 5fc 7dg 7dg 7dg 7dg 7dg 7f2 7f2 7f2 7f2 7f2 7f2 7f2 8pmholy s@#$... what have I done? what is my pendulums doing there? I do not need the excess earth quanta. I speedbuild this deck, and I figured he is going to use creatures rush. BB will work great. I only have BB in mind to stop him, and I did not realise I make a fatal flaw when I just press quanta producers.I only need the mark to generate the quanta. I realise the mistake but luckily he play a trio which did not exactly work that time. he earthquake my pendulums, and I bb his creatures. so although with my pendulums, I end up going to be slow, but since he is using earthquake to destroying the pendulum cluster instead of my tower anyway, my flaw did not make a huge screwup.
deck 3 WIN
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4so 4so 4so 4so 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5fb 5fb 5fc 5fc 5fc 5fc 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 718 718 718 718 718 718 71a 71a 71a 71b 71b 71b 8pkI figure it is time to use death mark, poison is a good rush. I believe he will not be using purify. then I thought, inthisroom may use poison as well, since I have not been using dims which I banned him. but going for a water mark is too dangerous, and i cannot use sanctuary. I switch the bonewall for more poison and arsenic, and phoenix. tweak the pendulum and pillar on the spot to get more phoenix out, focusiing more on offence rather than defence.
deck 4
LOSS MY GOD WHYHover over cards for details, click for permalink
5f7 5fb 5fb 5fb 5fb 5fb 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 7f2 7f2 7gr 7gr 7gr 7gr 7h2 7h2 7h2 7h2 7h2 7h2 8pp
opening hand 4 squids, I was like what... then he got turn 2 farenheit. I was like haiz why faren so early in big deck.keep praying for steammachine which never come until i draw more than half my deck. the faren chip and chip my hp slowly, and I was so angry that time. I curse the moment I reach his bolt range, and he is going to lose the next turn. I pray so hard, for the final turn, hoping it is not bolts in his hand. Ya I know, wishful thinking.
deck 5 WIN
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4ve 4ve 4ve 4ve 4ve 4vj 4vj 4vj 4vj 5fc 5fc 5fc 5fc 5fc 5fc 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 6u5 6u5 6u5 7f2 7f2 7f2 7f2 7f2 7f2 7f2 7n0 7th 8pjdiscord work like a charm
deck 6 WIN
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4so 4so 4so 4so 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 622 622 7ds 7ds 7ds 7ds 7ds 7ds 80d 80d 80d 80i 80i 80i 8putime for fractix. before he had discord out, I cast my dim. i start first, and he need 3 turns to be able to play discord. so i play my dim at turn 3, and with 3 extra turns, I cast my fractal and my minor phoenix rushed his antimatter.
HAD THE STEAMMACHINE DECK WORK, IT WOULD HAVE RESULTED IN 5-1
I GUESS I LOST ALL THE BLESSINGS AT THIS POINT, AND NOW WE RESUME FROM 4-2
deck 7 LOSS
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594 594 594 594 594 594 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f7 5f7 5f8 5f8 5f8 5f8 5fa 5fa 5fb 5fb 5fb 5fb 5fb 5fb 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 77c 77c 77c 7do 7do 7f2 7f2 7f2 7f2 7f2 7f2 7f2 8pmI really wanted to end it at that point, and I was thinking, maybe I should go with a stall. he will never expect it. without sanctuary, bolt gone, who will expect a stall from me after going for 6 games. I give it a try and it was going well. I played 3 stoneskin... he had 4 cards left.. I needed a stone skin., well never happened. it is a big deck, so yeah din find my 4th stoneskin to seal the game. I have to stoneskin early because of bolts, so with 40+ or 50+ quanta, my 4th stoneskin will seal it. At last, did not happen.
deck 8 LOSS
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5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5fc 5fc 5fc 5fc 5fc 5fc 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 5gi 7t8 7t8 7t9 7t9 7t9 7tb 7tb 7tb 8ptI am getting worried. I am really getting worried. to be honest, at this point, I can feel my luck draining out. seeing marsu and calindu supporting inthisroom is not helping. vangelios is supporting me though. with no explosions in mind, I think, darkness .. yes darkness.
I am surprised inthisroom think of the same thing again for the second time, darkness deck as well.
I hit me head hard the moment I saw what I have done, in my attempt to speedbuilding, i thought of darkness, steal, and i forgotten I can play 12 upgrades. I remember them clearly, twice I am stuck with 6 quanta, in which had I put 4 upped quanta inside, I may have my phoenix out 2 turns earlier. it was a dusk hax shield battle, and I was so sad with my carelessness.
and RNG punish me later when I see his deck, it seems inthisroom only have 2 steals, and he draw both of them. I have
3 steals and I only draw 1 of them!!! he steal 1, I steal 1, then hax shield keep missing. then he draw the needed 2nd steal, and I did draw any steal to take back my shield. his creatures did not miss, and I miss of course. This is my second serious mistake I have ever done. this deck is using 8 upgrades against a 17 upgrades deck, I must be an idiot
deck 9
I loss the code
I have totally no confident here already. my mind is screaming of discord or bonewall deck with cc and rush, but bolts frightened me. very absent minded, and I use life duo with emeralds. I think too much, seems like I have not learned from my match with jenkar. I make a weird deck which fails against jenkar during last match in master tourny, and with my stupid heart palpitating like hammer, I speedbuilt another weird deck with heals,... and it fail me in my last game this trial. No more speedbuilding weird decks for final match next time!!! I have forgotten I want to make my final deck a mono fire with dragon, phoenix, and rage potions. and I think it should have worked. I betray myself, make a weird deck which did not work, and I draw only 1 heal throughout the whole game. I remember 3 heals, 2 druidic staff, 2 emerald shield, and 3 jade dragons. plus phoenix and rage potion.
to my 20+ voters, I only know a few of them, who told me they vote for me, I did not know who else. I am sorry I am being so irresponsible. I am sorry. I felt exhausted after 1 year of continuous event. I am sorry, I thought I am alone, forgotten about the 20+ voters. I promised I will value my mastership more, and I know I will after all this, if I still have time to fight for it. vangelios, thank you for the private message yesterday. I told you to be honorable, but I fail at it myself. thank you for the private message you sent me. I took too many things for granted this time, letting RNG and fate decide. I am sorry inthisroom, if there is an advice I will give, value it. congratz inthisroom. I will fight with you again for the title. how could I sleep well yesterday, knowing I make all these mistakes
oh and a message to treebeard, I do not like a particular word you used, i don mind if you remodify.
it is just a joke right? oh ya, i remember our previous tourny matches, and your recent matches. I will join tournys, so I really hope I will meet you again. I am just joking. * erm erm* I am not the best pvper, but I never called anyone that, never in my whole time I have been here in elements.
