My father's side of the family is Episcopal (i.e., Anglican), but we never attended church. I grew up believing in God in a general way. I would read the illustrated Bible stories in the doctor's office while in the waiting room. I had a red-letter copy of the New Testament and was pretty impressed with Jesus.
One year, in the summer after 6th grade, I went to Bible study camp at a nearby Episcopal church. (As an aside, the Episcopal Church in the US has both mainline and evangelical congregations. My father's family is mainline; the Bible study camp was run by an evangelical church.) After the summer was over, I was invited to join the church's youth group. I was in it for several months, but I was ambivalent about it. Everyone was nice enough, but it was always Jesus this and Jesus that, which was weird for me. I remember missing a Superbowl because my father insisted that I go to the youth group meeting, even though I wanted to skip that week and we had both followed the teams that year. I eventually quit because of the too-much-Jesus weirdness I mentioned above.
By the end of high school, I was an agnostic. Just thinking about religion, I figured that we didn't know the relevant events in the same way that we know who is President or how to cook spaghetti. I also followed the efforts of the some evangelical Christians to outlaw pornography, and I was very firmly in favor of having the right to look at photos of naked women.
At some point, I came across Betrand Russell's Why I Am Not a Christian, and that resonated with me. By my junior year in college, I had decided that a scientific view of the world was the best approach, so I concluded that I was an atheist.
I find it funny that you came to the conclusion that there is no god on the basis of a scientific approach. What I find funny about that is science does little to disprove or prove that a god does or does not exist. In fact there is no real concrete evidence to prove god does or does not exist. Everything is speculation.
I believe that you dislike the Christian viewpoint because of the values attached within the religion. Not nessarily that you do not believe in a god, you do not acknowledge the widely accepted Christian interpretation to be true. Whether or not God actually said/believes the Bible is another argument... to become atheist after not accepting a religion is not great logic.
The real problem with God is the conception of God. We use symbols to communicate God but those symbols are not descriptive enough and limit the conception of god. Typical god conception is that God is omnipotent, omniscient and infallible but that is severely limiting because God is so much more than that. "The name that can be named is not the eternal name"--Taoist Saying...
I believe you should explore your beliefs more but at the same time that may get you no where. Buddha stopped questioning the metaphysical after coming to the conclusion that there is no certainty.
Ah well.
My parents never really taught me anything. My mother is an atheist and from an atheist family and my father was mind played by the church too many times. I have to say they never really stressed this. I even had to go to bible class. I must have been 10 or 11 by then. By that time I was already an atheist because I had books about dinosaurs. Evolution and religion didn't really mix when I was a kid, so I discarded the stories quite easily. Though I have to say the lady from the bible class was nice and I never told her I was an atheist.
That is similar to the post I stated above. You do not believe in Christianity. Christianity and God are separate issues although they are closely related. Just because you do not believe in Christianity does not make you Atheist by any means. You should explore your beliefs more. Maybe you believe that it does not matter if god or god does not exist and do not bother answering if god does exist.
Let me tell you instead why I DO believe in God(s): because science sucks at explaining my life.
Too many things have happened to me -- from spontaneous telempathic events to literal magic spells working when I performed them, not to mention physically seeing and speaking with something that I could only interpret as a goddess of the moon and wind -- that science wants to write off as biochemical and statistical noise for me to be comfortable buying in to the mechanical/Newtonian scientific model of the universe.
Oddly enough, quantum physics has recently started coming to some of the same conclusions that I did early in my life, so I'm starting to think that maybe science isn't all bad. String theory now says essentially that the act of observation not only defines reality, but literally creates it, much like an MMORPG doens't actually render any part of the landscape until a player is there to look at it.
I like that kind of reality, because it means that objectively unverifiable experiences like my chat with a goddess aren't invalidated by a Newtonian tyranocrat, but rather that the reality created by my observation of a goddess is merely inaccessible to the observations of others and thus (through Wittgensteinian reasoning) impossible to meaningfully discuss in a scientific setting. I'm cool with that.
8)
I don't believe string theory talks about reality at all. It is an attempt to explain the big bang--the big bang is just a byproduct of two planes colliding.
What you are approaching is a more metaphysical perspective. You are describing a monist perspective of the mind. Idealism. An idealist would answer the question of "If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound?" with "No because there is no one to experience it." Whereas a body monist, materialist, would say "Yes it did make a sound because it physically happened."
Basically, idealist believes the world is all mind (or spiritual). Materialist believes the world is all physical. And there are a variety of dualist beliefs that are a mix between the mind/body.
You should look into a philosophy-metaphysics class. Here is a great thought experiment for you to ponder with the Mind/Body problem.
Where Am I? by Dennett (
http://www.newbanner.com/SecHumSCM/WhereAmI.html)
More about Idealism:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idealism
Feel free to ask me about any of your philosophy questions... I should be able to help with them.