Dear fellow players!
I'm writing this post, because I felt this is something I had to do.
It wasn't the first time when someone mentioned me that continually
cursing rng and circumstances might be perceived by others as not
respecting the opponent. I'd like to clear this once and for all.
Yes, when losing I am usually very sore. I am aware of it. People
might say I should keep my emotions at bay. Regretfully I always
vent publicly. I'm sure everyone is pissed at least a bit when
losing, but seems people give less importance to the results of
a card game fought through the internet.
First of all I respect my opponent. I can tell the same about most
of the players here, though I must stop here for a moment. It happened
to me on multiple occasions when I faced disrespect, because as a
newcomer I was able to beat someone in PvP. But because this happened
privately I cannot prove anything. Thankfully it isn't the base mental
setting of players here. Other thing I'd like to mention is the pressure.
I know some of this pressure is created by myself, at the same time
another half of it created by the community. I talked privately to
players who could easily play War (looking at their expertise), but
they kinda avoid that because they feel too much pressure from the
community. You have to win, because only the very competitive players
stayed, and those who value fun playing sorta disappeared. I know
you will ask me if I'm pointing fingers at specific persons. No.
I'm not even sure most of you understand what am I talking
about. You have to be in a specific position to feel this pressure.
What I wanted to convey here, that it feels bad to be the "disrespectful
problem kid" in the eyes of a lot of players. Ah, you could say:
then don't be. Although I can refine my style, I don't want to be dishonest
about how I feel. I checked back my earlier War posts, and yes, I agree
that I should tone it down a bit. This stuff is way too important to me.
I always feel like I never proved myself to this community, people
only joking like "haha, Wyand RNG", "bad mindgater" etcetera, and it ends
in an unhealthy desire to prove myself again and again. This and my
background leads into such stupid situations when 20 mins before deadline
I'm stressing so much that I lose focus and I have no idea what to do.
Eventually, only 8 cards penalty, because Naii is a great guy.
(No irony here! We are really glad, both Zya and me guessed it'll be more.)
Huh, maybe a TL;DR? I'm sad about my perceived image.
And I apologize if I ever was disrespectful to anyone.
Wyand
