Elemental Politics: Letting Things Go

[JonathanCrazyJ]

Elemental Politics: Letting Things Go

From the Cold War, to Israel and Palestine, world politics has a long tradition of not letting bye-gones be bye-gones. Rarely do World Leaders have the presence of mind and good intentions to allow their fellow man to live as they see fit, much less to forget an insult or slight.
There are a host of reasons for this. Pride. Bitterness. In general, it's easier to see the world in black and white, friend and foe, than to try to bridge a gap and turn enemy into ally.

The Entropy of politics takes Time to develop. The whole Earth will sometimes burn in the Fire of pride, because Life is impossible without people occasionally experiencing Darkness, and blaming that suffering on others. The Gravity of a problem is often blown out of proportion, and grudges can last until Death. Can we change? Can we see the Light, Air out our differences, and send our hatred into the Aether so we can, at least for a while, bathe in the Waters of peace?

Meaning

I have come to love this community in my relatively short time of being here. Thankfully, I don't think I have made too many enemies (or if I have they are keeping quiet about it!). We have dwindled to a homely, excellent core of members who enjoy being here. I do not know most of the old arguments and past grievances, but what I do know is that they exist. Rarely spoken of, but let's be honest, some old dislikes persist. I'm not saying any of them should be aired out here, or anywhere else publicly. What I do know, is that when we are left with a core of members, the survival of the community hinges on how pleasant a place it is to be. We all love the community, the game, and the events that make this forum excellent. All I suggest is that those who have issues from the past, or develop problems in the future... put them in context, offer a handshake, and drop it. Easier said than done. A simple PM, not saying sorry, not bringing up things that don't matter anymore, but simply offering a nod and a handshake. Is that so hard?

On the eve of a War, why not try a little peace.

[ZephyrPhantom]

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

[JonathanCrazyJ]

I apologise if I came off preachy. 
I have no idea who has beef with who, seriously. Pointless post is pointless. I re-read it and where I was going for jokey I seem to have come across annoying as hell. I may delete. Not sure yet. I hoped that the intentions of this post can be read, and if people don't want to do anything about their private issues, that's fine, but who knows, maybe one or two things can be put to bed, even if not all are repairable.

[Naesala]

It's not annoying as hell, and it was a post with good merit. I wouldn't beat yourself up over this.

[Aves]

Looked fine to me, though as a semi-lurker/inactive I can't say I know anything about any drama that may have gone on. Regardless; you're not the one in the wrong, and kudos for starting this!

Don't let cynical messages fancy latin quotes get you down!

[ZephyrPhantom]

I apologise if I came off preachy. 
I have no idea who has beef with who, seriously. Pointless post is pointless. I re-read it and where I was going for jokey I seem to have come across annoying as hell. I may delete. Not sure yet. I hoped that the intentions of this post can be read, and if people don't want to do anything about their private issues, that's fine, but who knows, maybe one or two things can be put to bed, even if not all are repairable.

Your heart's in the right place. You just see things differently once you've become staff here.

[Zawadx]

The fancy latin quote was relevant. Also, fancy english quote:


Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.


Don't worry jcj, this thread is alright.

[CrockettRocket]

Liked the post, it was kinda philosophical to me and I love that stuff.

[OldTrees]

While addressing the symptoms is an important and necessary step, the harder step of addressing the causes yields longer lasting and larger benefits.

Looking back on my rather short(only ~25 years) lifespan, I notice that most of the conflicts I got in had a significant defining trait. That trait was: Either I did not initially understand their side and/or they did not understand my side. Now a majority of those that were solved, were solved by overcoming that lack of understanding. This leads to my 3 rules of conflict:
1) Be reasonable: Mentally attack your position to see if it hold up against your perspective. Improve your ability to so attack your own positions to ferret out subtler and subtler unreasonable positions.
2) Presume reasonableness: Assume the other side is better at step 1 than you are. Try to understand their position and their perspective under which it is reasonable.
3) Bridge understanding: Make it easier for the other side to do step 2. Use what you found out during your own step 2 to help them complete step 2. Once both sides are on the same two pages, then conflict tends to dissolve.

Unfortunately all 3 steps are drowning in unknown unknowns(things you don't know you don't know).
1) Learn about logic. Learn about cognitive biases. Mentally fight your positions.
2) Empathy is a skill, it takes practice and training to develop it. Practice by coming to understand real and fictional characters that are alien to you. You are working at both expanding the range of your imagination and improving your ability to listen to and learn about someone new.
3) Eh. I'm not far enough to give advice on training this one. However it deals with clarity and accuracy of translating your thoughts into their thoughts.