Being Alone?

[DoubleCapitals]

So hey guys, wanted to pop a new thread in here, like so here's the story:

Like, I've never been really sociable in my life. In elementary/primary school, I've been bullied for basically being a weird and unlikable guy in general. I mean, I was indeed diagnosed with mild ASD and the like.

Eventually I learnt to adjust to society and the world around me. Sometimes I pride myself on the improvements I made in my behavior, but sometimes I feel a bit... lacking.

You see, I just still get the feeling that a lot of my friends IRL have wider social circles than I. I get conflicting thoughts on whether it's just me preferring to be an introvert or is it because I'm really "not there" yet compared to my peers. Anyway, enough of my backstory.

What's the difference between being alone and being lonely? I don't think I've managed to understand.

[Zyardran]

Oh hun, tbh there isn't much difference, being lonely means being bored and not really talking to anyone. Being alone means you don't really care.

I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to, I'm always open.

P.S. i don't have much of a social life either, you just see me on the forums always open and social, you don't want to see me IRL.

[Treldon]

There is a great difference in my opinion.

Being alone: not having anyone around you at that time or in general (living alone)
Being lonely: not having anyone you have a connection with at that time or in general

Being alone is getting harder and harder to achieve with all the social media, mobile web, etc. There is always someone to (small)talk with or to annoy you.
But it is quite easy to be lonely in our age, especially because of the aforementioned reasons. The more people talk through screens the less they actually connect to each other. As we all know online relationships are low on maintenance, people don't require that much attention, but in return you don't get that attention either, nor do you achieve the depth as you would if you met face to face.

So yeah, big difference.

[ZephyrPhantom]

You can be surrounded by all the friends you know and still feel lonely if they're not really connecting to you and vice versa.

On the flipside, you can be alone in any situation and still feel happy about yourself and enjoy life.

[Naesala]

Being alone is when noone is around you, when you don't have social contact with people, etc.
Being lonely is when that hurts emotionally.

[dawn to dusk]

i see loneliness as more of a longing to be with people. if you feel lonely, it would mean you would rather be with people than by yourself.
being alone on the other hand can be seen more as being content if you dont have others around to talk to.

from this, i would classify loneliness as a trait shared by extroverts while being alone as more of an introverted way.

others may not though so take this for a grain of salt ^^;

[dragonsdemesne]

I'm fairly strongly introverted, and in my mind, the difference is this:

Being alone: Quite simply, you're the only person around at the time.  This may or may not be intentional or desired.  For instance, I'm sitting in my room alone right now on the computer, about to play some video games, and I have no complaints.  Being alone isn't necessarily a bad thing, or a good thing.

Being lonely: This is where you wish you had somebody around to connect with, and don't.  Sometimes, it is possible to be lonely even though there are lots of people around.  You're at a party, and nobody's talking to you, or whatever.  Being lonely is, by definition, a bad thing, because it is a state of being unfulfilled emotionally.

I remember once when my family was on vacation, I was on my own at home for almost a week.  At one point, I realized that I had not talked to another human being in three days.  I wasn't lonely, but, other than my cat, I was completely alone.  I wasn't unhappy; I was actually having a great time on my own.

I can also remember times where I have been lonely.  I'm a 33 year old single guy, and I've never had a significant relationship with a woman, for instance.  Sometimes, this makes me feel quite lonely, and this can happen even if other people are around; it has nothing to do with the number of people in the room.

I have no idea if anything I said made sense or helped or anything, but that's my two cents.

[foxrain4]

being alone is being by yourself most of the time.

feeling lonely is when you dun want to be by yourself anymore
and feels like talking to somebody.

feeling lonely and yet being alone seems like
nothing big of a deal,
but those whom experienced it before
knows what is happening,

the intense feeling of void deep inside
your heart opening out, shattering your brain,
asking "what the heck are you doing with your life?"

i dun want to describe more as the real thing that
happens when you feel isolated is not something you
can experience just by reading.

[Spacious]

Being alone is a fact - whether or not you are alone can be clearly determined because it is a state. Just like how matter can be of one of the three states, a person can be alone or with company. It is a simple term used to describe the truth of a statement.

Loneliness is more complex than that - it is an emotion. Just like love, hatred, happiness or depression, it's essence cannot truly be captured in words. I could try to explain, but I'll probably wind up sounding more or less like the others. So I'll instead focus less on how it 'feels' and more of how it manifests as a symptom.

Transient loneliness - or state loneliness, refers to a detached emotion of pain or sadness in a person due to changes in their environment. If a person has broken their arm and can no longer play a sport that they like with their usual group of friends, he may feel lonely because he cannot socialize the way he normally does. Or if someone is hospitalized and cannot interact with her friends because she risks infecting them, she may feel transient loneliness because of her inability to be with others. It usually goes away once the obstacle is taken out of the equation.

Chronic loneliness is something else entirely. It's not caused by the environment, but a complication in the person's mind which causes them to think or feel a certain way. Despite being in the presence of friends, family, et cetera, they still feel hurt and detached from the environment around them - it's not something that can be solved easily by any means, and is a complication of a person's mental state.

If you ever do feel this way, I'll be happy to talk to you. I've never been a chronic loner in my life and probably won't be able to understand it for the rest of it, but I will gladly help to make you feel more welcomed by the people around you.

[Monox D. I-Fly]

Me, too. I tend to feel chronic loneliness. Only my childishness which can keep me happy.

[DoubleCapitals]

hmm, I'm probably being lonely more than anything. I've done a bit of soul searching, perhaps it's my fault. Sorry for being so ambiguous, but my friends advised me not to think about this like, until my papers, I could chat after they're over in say, 3 weeks?

[ZephyrPhantom]

Loneliness is a subjective feeling that can take anywhere from days to years to understand. I'd say your friends have the right advice in mind.