Goodness, I may be the youngest person here.
a) Yes, that is the pot in which noodles rest in my profile picture. It has a factor of +4 wonderfulness.
b) Yes, that glove is made of duct tape. It is also armored.
c) Yes, I am always that happy.
d) If you look in the background, there is a blue shoe resting on a series of wooden boards. The shoe is a phone, a gift from my father, and the boards are my bedframe, which apparently does not sustain the weight of 4 people and a baseball bat at the same time.
e) I take no legal responsibility for whatever you may do to such a post.