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Daxx

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The Ant and the Grasshopper https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=641.msg6189#msg6189
« on: December 15, 2009, 10:10:01 pm »

Moral of the story: there are lots of monkeys on the internet, and lots of typewriters. Shakespeare has yet to be found amongst them. 8)

Evil Hamster

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The Ant and the Grasshopper https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=641.msg6190#msg6190
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2009, 10:10:01 pm »

From an email I received, enjoy!  ;D

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

This one is a little different.... Two Different Versions................. Two Different Morals

OLD VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Acorn stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Rev. Jeremiah Wright then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshac kle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.

The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.

Evil Hamster

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The Ant and the Grasshopper https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=641.msg6191#msg6191
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2009, 10:10:01 pm »

Forfeit

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The Ant and the Grasshopper https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=641.msg6192#msg6192
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2009, 10:10:01 pm »

Ahh, that state where you laugh so hard you can't breath. That would be a good way for the grasshoper to go, he could figure out the lesson he could've learned at the start; and we get a show.

With that said, where can I get a lolbow?

Forfeit

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The Ant and the Grasshopper https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=641.msg6193#msg6193
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2009, 10:10:01 pm »

I can't help but think the grasshoper was laughing anyway, can I shoot him with a longbow instead?

Forfeit

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The Ant and the Grasshopper https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=641.msg6194#msg6194
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2009, 10:10:01 pm »

This makes me wonder how much of a tendancy you have to veer completly away from anything reasonable. Note that I use reasonable lightly, because I know each of us has there own reality, and insaneness to go with it ; )

Hmm, i like lolbow better than lobbow- elbow...

......

The Ant and the Grasshopper https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=641.msg6195#msg6195
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2009, 10:10:01 pm »

I learned my lesson. I shall be more responsible. =/

*shoots the Grasshopper with my LoLbOw* There, one problem solved.

The Ant and the Grasshopper https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=641.msg6196#msg6196
« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2009, 10:10:01 pm »

I can't help but think the grasshoper was laughing anyway, can I shoot him with a longbow instead?
If you want, but FORCING the Grasshopper to laugh itself to death is deliciously fun. ::)

The Ant and the Grasshopper https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=641.msg6197#msg6197
« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2009, 10:10:01 pm »

 

blarg: