Mental Health and the EtG Community

[Hyroen]

After weighing the pros and the cons of starting this topic I felt like this has the potential to do much more good than harm and that's why I think somethings deserve to be said, and the community, heard.

Speaking about mental disorders can be a bit of a taboo in many cultures and societies, with some seeing it as an illness and others seeing it as simply an "irregularity" of thought and/or behaviour. While the definition of mental disorder has varied with time and with society, there is, without a doubt, benefit in being informed and relating to each other, fundamentally, as human beings that 99% of the time are more similar than are different.

Mental disorder does not mean the (damaging) and stereotypical portrayal of the "maniac" and can include eating disorders, depression, autism spectrum disorders, personality disorders, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, drug addiction and many more. Though some are definitely more common than others, we should keep in mind that they all exist and in a community of even 20, it's always good to keep in mind that everyone is on their own journey and may at some point or another be going through a muted battle.


With this in mind, the above polls ask community members to anonymously* disclose whether they currently or have at some point identified as someone experiencing a particular mental disorder. Also, please try to vote with the utmost respect and seriousness for each mental disorder; as sometimes identifying with certain disorders can be done so very liberally and inappropriately. e.g. "wow, I'm so OCD, whenever I lose 1 EtG game, I have to reset my account". Polls will be ongoing and you will be able to change your vote at any point. If there is any change to the polls, an update post will be made.

This thread exists for the express purpose of having the community become more aware of the silent struggles that it may go through so that we can better empathize, understand and support each other.

Please keep in mind that this thread:

• does not ask people to speak publicly about their private lives &
• does not encourage anyone to attempt to pry into the personal lives of others.

This post is only to allow the silent to have an option to share anonymously and enlighten the community. Every conversation starts with a word.


If you ever feel like having a chat, feel free to join us in the EtG Chat Room!
Having said the previous, while community members can be great friends and shoulders to lean on, we are in no way professionals and even if we were, it would be difficult to vouch for those credentials.
If you feel that you are going through a situation that requires professional help, get in touch with a local crisis counseling line, as professionals are ready when you are.


There is no need to respond to this topic. There is no need to share anything with anyone. But know this: you are not alone.

Spoiler for Anonymity*:

While voting is for all intents and purposes anonymous, Admins with access to the database (antiaverage & UTAlan) can, in theory, see how people vote. Though they are Admins with only the best intentions for the community, please keep this in consideration when and if you choose to share any personal information through the polls.

[Hyroen]

If you'd like to find out more information about Mental Disorders or would like links for support, the following may be of use:

• Understanding Mental Illness by the Canadian Mental Health Association
• Mental Health & Addiction Information A-Z
• International Association for Suicide Prevention - Crisis Centers

[Higurashi]

I went through depression, suicidal thoughts and one addiction in my teens and early 20's. I can't say it all fully stopped until I was 24, though it wasn't because of age but rather because I met someone and did something special. My life wasn't working out, and changing just one variable wasn't quite enough, so I had to change my entire life. It's a bit like math.

I grew up in a rather bleak reality full of crime and violence, so the opposite was needed for a perspective change. Even before that I found solace in being a pillar for others, because even if I was suffering I was still able to help others. The discovery that I could contribute to humanity was something that began snowballing a change in me.

My addiction was escapism. It doesn't have the same physical complications as hard drugs, but the reward system in your brain works the same for any addiction. It's the chemicals that your brain sends out that you become addicted to. My main problem was with gaming. Partially as a result of my depression, I forewent any kind of social life, exercise, sleep and food so that I could remain in a different world for just a bit longer.

Now that my real life isn't so bad anymore, I find myself gaming very little. It makes sense if it was more of a need than an interest. Some games do still interest me, provided they're challenging in the right ways.

I've had the privilege of helping a lot of wonderful people, in large part thanks to the perspectives my experiences have given me. Several of those people have been Elements members. It's no surprise that birds of a feather flock together, and that's what a community is about. We're all bound together by love in the end.

If someone like me who only had a destructive skillset can both overcome this stuff and become a mentor for mental health, I think anyone can. Quite often the trigger to start the changes in you is very hard to find, but that's extremely far from impossible. I found out that I had a source of unlimited strength inside me all along, a roaring fire that will never go out; I just had to find the spark.

[UTAlan]

Putting this in a spoiler because it isn't primarily my struggle, but it is one I wanted to share.

Spoiler for Hidden:

Note: I have permission to share this.

My wife has been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. Her past includes self-harm, multiple suicide attempts, and full-blown panic attacks. These started when she was 14. Thankfully, she has not attempted suicide or harmed herself in over 3 years.

Her struggle/disease has had a huge impact on our marriage. I do my best to be supportive and encouraging, but it is difficult to see the person I love most in this world hurting for no apparent reason. For the first few years of our marriage, I tried to be her "savior" - the one who could make things better. I told her I was there and she could rely on me and, in not so many words, put her hope in me. This was a huge mistake. I couldn't follow through on my promises. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't be there all the time. And I would inevitably let her down at some point.

Ultimately, we both found help through a recovery ministry at our church. She learned healthy ways to cope with her depression and anxiety while I found ways to be supportive of her without being co-dependent - without needing to be needed. Finding the right set of medication also helped her a TON.

For a more in-depth story, directly from my wife, you can hear her testimony (the story of how she came to faith in Jesus and the impact it has had on her) here: http://www.watermark.org/message/3270

Feel free to ask me any questions you wish (about me or about my wife's struggle) - here or via PM or in chat.

[Higurashi]

It's empowering and beautiful to hear how well she knows herself now. How you get there doesn't matter much. Once you find a conduit, it turns into a mirror and you become able to see yourself and your place in the world.

I mainly know what it's like being in your spot, Alan. The toughest thing you'll ever endure, because she matters so much, but also the most rewarding when you finally see progress. You guys are great :>

[ValerianFlame]

I have a similar situation to UTAlan, as I have a girlfriend I've talked to online for a while. I will put more in the spoiler below.

Spoiler for The Spoiler Below:

     As I've stated, I have a girlfriend I talk to online. She wasn't always my gf though, as I've just talked to her, among a few of both of our friends, before our relationship started. We've been best friends for at least a half a year before the relationship started. On February 1, 2016, I confessed to her, and she did too. There was virtually no faults since then, and it's close to being 1 year since we confessed.
     However, ever since even before we confessed, I noticed she had depression, much worse than I had at the time. The depression seemed to get worse for her, but I had started taking medication to control my anxiety/depression. For one, the worst I've gotten to was suicidal thoughts, but she's taken suicidal actions. She later told me that most of her problems are caused by her two brothers (one older and one younger). Her two parents also neglect her in favor of her two brothers and twin sister (Her twin sister isn't all that bad.)
     The reason I had to post is that she had recently got punched in the stomach by one of her brothers. Following that was major cramps, and she also had a knee that was hurting her. Even worse, she had said "If I died, no one would miss me." and her brothers said "Amen." and laughed at her. Later, closer to the time I am currently posting this, I got extremely worried because I didn't see her talk to me for a while, eventually saying "Should I take the blade to my throat or guts?" I made sure she didn't try to kill herself, giving a mini-speech on how I've devoted my life to her (and I still do.) and eventually made her happy again. I got a little close to crying when she was about to kill herself. I'm just glad I got to persuade her.

To my girlfriend: If you're reading this, please don't try to kill yourself. I want to do everything in my power to make you happy, that's how much I cherish and adore you.