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Offline JonathanCrazyJ

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Re: is it normal not to have real life friends https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=58909.msg1196994#msg1196994
« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2015, 04:47:50 pm »
if you have real life friends from school, and you don't work at weekends, make an effort to organise to meet up with them. Doesn't even have to be all of them. identify the person or persons you miss the most and make an effort to meet up next weekend.
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Offline Monox D. I-Fly

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Re: is it normal not to have real life friends https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=58909.msg1196998#msg1196998
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2015, 04:54:36 pm »
when working in my country,
talking is kinda looked upon as slacking
 although it depends on your job though.
so even if you tried to talk to your workmates,
they will try to avoid you.

Which country are you from?
That flag... Is that Singapore?
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Offline foxrain4Topic starter

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Re: is it normal not to have real life friends https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=58909.msg1196999#msg1196999
« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2015, 04:56:14 pm »
when working in my country,
talking is kinda looked upon as slacking
 although it depends on your job though.
so even if you tried to talk to your workmates,
they will try to avoid you.

Which country are you from?
That flag... Is that Singapore?
yes its Singapore, not Indonesia,
i see lots of indonesia chatting in your group.

Offline foxrain4Topic starter

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Re: is it normal not to have real life friends https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=58909.msg1197000#msg1197000
« Reply #15 on: July 15, 2015, 05:03:35 pm »
if you have real life friends from school, and you don't work at weekends, make an effort to organise to meet up with them. Doesn't even have to be all of them. identify the person or persons you miss the most and make an effort to meet up next weekend.

my closest friends are the ones having girlfriends,
i understand that they are having fun, enjoying life, going to build a family.

im happy that we actually have lots of fun, gatherings, cinemas, gaming
in the past.

its just the current and future is changing and im temporarily not used to it

Offline Monox D. I-Fly

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Re: is it normal not to have real life friends https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=58909.msg1197001#msg1197001
« Reply #16 on: July 15, 2015, 05:04:38 pm »
That's because I am Indonesian, thus my posts in Facebook are using Indonesian language.

My circumstance in my workplace is also similar to yours, though here we can talk freely during working.
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Offline JonathanCrazyJ

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Re: is it normal not to have real life friends https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=58909.msg1197003#msg1197003
« Reply #17 on: July 15, 2015, 05:11:55 pm »
if you have real life friends from school, and you don't work at weekends, make an effort to organise to meet up with them. Doesn't even have to be all of them. identify the person or persons you miss the most and make an effort to meet up next weekend.

my closest friends are the ones having girlfriends,
i understand that they are having fun, enjoying life, going to build a family.

im happy that we actually have lots of fun, gatherings, cinemas, gaming
in the past.

its just the current and future is changing and im temporarily not used to it

It is possible to become distracted in new / developing romantic relationships. It does not mean they no longer with to be and stay friends. If you make the effort to actually tell them you want to hang out, maybe not this weekened, maybe not next, but when they are free. It will happen, you will meet up. they just need a proper nudge.
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Offline foxrain4Topic starter

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Re: is it normal not to have real life friends https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=58909.msg1197004#msg1197004
« Reply #18 on: July 15, 2015, 05:16:26 pm »
if you have real life friends from school, and you don't work at weekends, make an effort to organise to meet up with them. Doesn't even have to be all of them. identify the person or persons you miss the most and make an effort to meet up next weekend.

my closest friends are the ones having girlfriends,
i understand that they are having fun, enjoying life, going to build a family.

im happy that we actually have lots of fun, gatherings, cinemas, gaming
in the past.

its just the current and future is changing and im temporarily not used to it

It is possible to become distracted in new / developing romantic relationships. It does not mean they no longer with to be and stay friends. If you make the effort to actually tell them you want to hang out, maybe not this weekened, maybe not next, but when they are free. It will happen, you will meet up. they just need a proper nudge.
thanks for the advice, i will try and hint them especially my best friend.

do you guys stay home alone on weekends?
i thinking of going out to cinema alone, haha.

Offline Ghaladh

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Re: is it normal not to have real life friends https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=58909.msg1197022#msg1197022
« Reply #19 on: July 15, 2015, 10:14:00 pm »
Your situation is the consequence of the society we are building. Too much "productivity" oriented, it's turning us into machines, our human worth measured by the job we do, by our salary.
We have little time, so we tend to spend it with the person we love and that loves us. That leaves those, that still have to find love, alone. It's normal to spend less time with your friends when you have a partner, but we used to have enough time to do both.

It's time to slow down, world, because we are losing ourselves in the production chain.

It's not normal not to have any RL friend, but it's becoming the norm, sadly.

Offline dragonsdemesne

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Re: is it normal not to have real life friends https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=58909.msg1197023#msg1197023
« Reply #20 on: July 15, 2015, 11:37:18 pm »
Sounds a lot like my life, actually :p  (except with less anime and wanking)  I have a lot of acquaintances, but I'd say I have one actual friend left, not because I'm an enormous loser (well, maybe that...) but because of the reasons you've mentioned.  He was one of my two best friends growing up, and we still do stuff together maybe once or twice a month.  We try to make time, even though work is busy and he has a wife and four kids.

I've never felt lonely in the sense of being friendless, as I can always find things to do, but I do find myself wishing I could find a nice girl and settle down, but at my age (33) they're all taken.  Unless I want to find a girl just out of high school or some old widow, there's nobody left that isn't hooked up.  It also doesn't help that the city I live in has a lot of men who come here for work in the oilfield, and consequently the male/female ratio is out of whack, as well as the fact that they have more money than I do to impress girls with.

So yeah, you aren't alone, but I don't know what the solution is. 

Offline Monox D. I-Fly

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Re: is it normal not to have real life friends https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=58909.msg1197032#msg1197032
« Reply #21 on: July 16, 2015, 01:11:15 am »
Sounds a lot like my life, actually :p  (except with less anime and wanking)  I have a lot of acquaintances, but I'd say I have one actual friend left, not because I'm an enormous loser (well, maybe that...) but because of the reasons you've mentioned.
When I was in middle school, among 6 classes in my grades I could only consider 6 people as my actual friends.

I've never felt lonely in the sense of being friendless, as I can always find things to do, but I do find myself wishing I could find a nice girl and settle down, but at my age (33) they're all taken.  Unless I want to find a girl just out of high school or some old widow, there's nobody left that isn't hooked up.  It also doesn't help that the city I live in has a lot of men who come here for work in the oilfield, and consequently the male/female ratio is out of whack, as well as the fact that they have more money than I do to impress girls with.

So yeah, you aren't alone, but I don't know what the solution is.
The first (and only) time I had a girlfriend is when I was 21 (now I am 25). Back then I was undergoing pre-teaching training in a middle school, and one of the students there (despite she was not my student) confessed that she loved me. Despite she was only 7th grader, I accepted her, because I wanted to know how having a girlfriend feels like. So, yeah, she was 8 years younger than me. It only lasted for 3 months, though, but we are still on good terms now.
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Offline montrossen

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Re: is it normal not to have real life friends https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=58909.msg1197045#msg1197045
« Reply #22 on: July 16, 2015, 07:10:40 am »
Is normal to have no friends. Everyone I know has no friends :P
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Offline foxrain4Topic starter

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Re: is it normal not to have real life friends https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=58909.msg1197072#msg1197072
« Reply #23 on: July 16, 2015, 03:42:23 pm »
Quote
Too much "productivity" oriented, it's turning us into machines, our human worth measured by the job we do, by our salary.
We have little time, so we tend to spend it with the person we love and that loves us
@Ghaladh
true that, it doesn't even makes any sense for that much productivity.

i have old aunties in food shops dropping glasses of water and nobody bothered to help her
or share any concern neither did I.

i seen old uncles sitting at some tables with random strangers trying to make a chat,
but obviously the random strangers (a family) moved away to another table.

where is the love ~

Quote
We try to make time, even though work is busy and he has a wife and four kids.
@dragonsdemesne
 thats some true buddy, with a wife and four kids and he still makes time for you.

Quote
Is normal to have no friends. Everyone I know has no friends :P
@montrossen
sorry for being evil, but im glad to know there are people more unfortunate than me.

 
Quote
when you know absolutely nothing about what's happening with anyone besides yourself and you truly have zero chance to go out the weekend or similar. And I've been there, so I know how it is.
@Dm
you sounded like you have a extremely bad experience, so some hugs for you. ;D
« Last Edit: July 16, 2015, 03:55:14 pm by foxrain4 »

 

blarg: