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Other Topics => Off-Topic Discussions => Humor => Topic started by: nerd1 on January 20, 2013, 12:16:51 am

Title: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: nerd1 on January 20, 2013, 12:16:51 am
My plan:
Cut education, business subsidies, and administration costs. Solve the resulting depression by printing lots of money. The resulting hyperinflation will devalue our dept to china. During this period, use as much money as possible to finish the space defense system. Once we are safe from nukes, annex the middle east. Threaten other countries with not having oil. Anyone who disagrees with us gets nuked. By this time, china and russia will hive gotten angry enough at us to declare war. Involve the rest of NATO, promising defense against nukes if they help. Using nukes, win the war within months. Stage a minor alien invasion. Using the imagined threat of aliens, increase American power and either annex of nuke every other country on earth to stop the fake invasion. Build FTL drives (they are possible http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcubierre_drive ) and colonize Mars, the moon, nearby super-earths, etc. By the time aliens actually do find us, the US will own everything and we'll be a formidable threat on the galactiv scale, and maybe eventually even the universal or even multi-dimensional level.
Remember- this is the humor section. Self consistent plans are, however, funnier than insane ones  ;)
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Xenocidius on January 20, 2013, 02:47:49 am
I'm noticing a distinct hint of 'MURICA! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGQaH3-LK54)
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: eaglgenes101 on January 20, 2013, 06:19:00 am
Encourage people (especially congressmen) to go to the political center. That's all.
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: nerd1 on January 21, 2013, 09:23:53 pm
I'm noticing a distinct hint of 'MURICA! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGQaH3-LK54)
If you could turn your country into the supreme overlord of everything, I'm sure you would  :)
Encourage people (especially congressmen) to go to the political center. That's all.
I'm with you there. It's a pity that your plan has less of a chance to come true than mine.  :-\
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Zarathustra1883 on January 21, 2013, 09:27:34 pm
Admit failed experiment - scrap the current version - rebuild a better USA version 2.1  ;D (Don´t shoot me, it´s in Humor after all!)  :P
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Annele on January 21, 2013, 10:59:36 pm
Blow it up and see how badly it affects us... yeah.
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Skotadi Phobos on January 21, 2013, 11:03:08 pm
Blow it up and see how badly it affects us... yeah.
Only if I get to push the big flashing red button and am standing at a safe distance.
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Annele on January 21, 2013, 11:32:42 pm
Blow it up and see how badly it affects us... yeah.
Only if I get to push the big flashing red button and am standing at a safe distance.

The reason to blow it up is to stop you infecting us. You'll be the first to die. :3
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Skotadi Phobos on January 22, 2013, 02:32:18 am
Blow it up and see how badly it affects us... yeah.
Only if I get to push the big flashing red button and am standing at a safe distance.

The reason to blow it up is to stop you infecting us. You'll be the first to die. :3
Okay fine, I won't be at a safe distance, but can I still push the button?
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Annele on January 22, 2013, 02:38:05 am
Blow it up and see how badly it affects us... yeah.
Only if I get to push the big flashing red button and am standing at a safe distance.

The reason to blow it up is to stop you infecting us. You'll be the first to die. :3
Okay fine, I won't be at a safe distance, but can I still push the button?

Yes you may. It means I don't have to be anywhere near when it blows. :D
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Skotadi Phobos on January 22, 2013, 02:41:15 am
Blow it up and see how badly it affects us... yeah.
Only if I get to push the big flashing red button and am standing at a safe distance.

The reason to blow it up is to stop you infecting us. You'll be the first to die. :3
Okay fine, I won't be at a safe distance, but can I still push the button?

Yes you may. It means I don't have to be anywhere near when it blows. :D
That's what you think.
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Annele on January 22, 2013, 02:42:51 am
Blow it up and see how badly it affects us... yeah.
Only if I get to push the big flashing red button and am standing at a safe distance.

The reason to blow it up is to stop you infecting us. You'll be the first to die. :3
Okay fine, I won't be at a safe distance, but can I still push the button?

Yes you may. It means I don't have to be anywhere near when it blows. :D
That's what you think.

Pluto isn't far away enough? Hold on, lemme go find the Death Star.
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: eaglgenes101 on January 22, 2013, 03:17:56 am
Blow it up and see how badly it affects us... yeah.
Only if I get to push the big flashing red button and am standing at a safe distance.

The reason to blow it up is to stop you infecting us. You'll be the first to die. :3
Okay fine, I won't be at a safe distance, but can I still push the button?

Yes you may. It means I don't have to be anywhere near when it blows. :D
That's what you think.

Pluto isn't far away enough? Hold on, lemme go find the Death Star.
It's probably a few billion of light years away. Be careful not to die on your way there; the death blast may already be traveling through space.
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Annele on January 22, 2013, 03:49:20 am
*Waits for someone to post a "Well that escalated quickly" meme.*
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Drake_XIV on January 22, 2013, 09:43:58 am
Well, that tapered off rather smoothly.  I think.
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: nerd1 on January 22, 2013, 11:22:03 pm
Blow it up and see how badly it affects us... yeah.
Only if I get to push the big flashing red button and am standing at a safe distance.

The reason to blow it up is to stop you infecting us. You'll be the first to die. :3
This implies zombies. Are you implying zombies :3
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Skotadi Phobos on January 22, 2013, 11:48:28 pm
Blow it up and see how badly it affects us... yeah.
Only if I get to push the big flashing red button and am standing at a safe distance.

The reason to blow it up is to stop you infecting us. You'll be the first to die. :3
This implies zombies. Are you implying zombies :3
She's implying vampires, because she thinks I'm a vampire, because she's wrong.
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Annele on January 23, 2013, 02:05:40 am
Blow it up and see how badly it affects us... yeah.
Only if I get to push the big flashing red button and am standing at a safe distance.

The reason to blow it up is to stop you infecting us. You'll be the first to die. :3
This implies zombies. Are you implying zombies :3

Nah, I'm implying Americanism.
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Drake_XIV on January 23, 2013, 05:59:20 am
Blow it up and see how badly it affects us... yeah.
Only if I get to push the big flashing red button and am standing at a safe distance.

The reason to blow it up is to stop you infecting us. You'll be the first to die. :3
This implies zombies. Are you implying zombies :3

Nah, I'm implying Americanism.

Well, I'll imply the sparkly vampirism then.
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Skotadi Phobos on January 23, 2013, 07:44:49 am
Blow it up and see how badly it affects us... yeah.
Only if I get to push the big flashing red button and am standing at a safe distance.

The reason to blow it up is to stop you infecting us. You'll be the first to die. :3
This implies zombies. Are you implying zombies :3

Nah, I'm implying Americanism.

Well, I'll imply the sparkly vampirism then.
I dislike what you have implied.
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Drake_XIV on January 23, 2013, 07:45:41 am
Blow it up and see how badly it affects us... yeah.
Only if I get to push the big flashing red button and am standing at a safe distance.

The reason to blow it up is to stop you infecting us. You'll be the first to die. :3
This implies zombies. Are you implying zombies :3

Nah, I'm implying Americanism.

Well, I'll imply the sparkly vampirism then.
I dislike what you have implied.

I have I implied, GlitterFear?
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Skotadi Phobos on January 23, 2013, 07:48:50 am
You're all so mean to me...
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Drake_XIV on January 23, 2013, 07:50:40 am
You're all so mean to me...
It's okay, GlitterFear, it's okay.
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Skotadi Phobos on January 23, 2013, 07:52:23 am
You're all so mean to me...
It's okay, GlitterFear, it's okay.
*prays GlitterFear doesn't become a new nickname*
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Drake_XIV on January 23, 2013, 07:55:22 am
You're all so mean to me...
It's okay, GlitterFear, it's okay.
*prays GlitterFear doesn't become a new nickname*

Okay, it will not...  SparkleFang
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Skotadi Phobos on January 23, 2013, 08:05:51 am
You're all so mean to me...
It's okay, GlitterFear, it's okay.
*prays GlitterFear doesn't become a new nickname*

Okay, it will not...  SparkleFang
That doesn't even fit with my forum name.
Title: Re: Your plan for the U.S.A
Post by: Drake_XIV on January 23, 2013, 08:07:19 am
You're all so mean to me...
It's okay, GlitterFear, it's okay.
*prays GlitterFear doesn't become a new nickname*

Okay, it will not...  SparkleFang
That doesn't even fit with my forum name.

So, you're accepting GlitterFear?  Cool.
blarg: