There is a possible loophole for this thread. It says "he". What if the person viewing it is female?
Oh, someone mentioned burning my house down. OK, here is where I live:
Find a portal or gate to Hell. Fight your way down the first seven levels. The eighth level is a sea of blood with obsidian islands; in the center of that level, on the largest island, is a castle made of darkness. Enter that castle, and you are in the ninth level of Hell. You should be able to find me there.