Puns of a Terrible Nature, etc.

[Tigirl]

I've just had some terrible, ABYSMAL snake-themed puns and jokes in my head. And I would like to see everybody else's failed attempts at humour. Gimme your bad jokes, atrocious puns, and bizarre wordplay that couldn't hold up a joke. Especially if only a select few people in existance will get the joke, it belongs here.
"What do you think about pythons? I think they're pretty baller. "  "Why do snakes make the best moirails? Because they always have their diamond's back!" "What do you get when you cross a huge bird and a huge snake? An anacondor." What do you call a snake in legwear? a garter snake!"
^COMEDY

[ValerianFlame]

What's a snake that just shed its skin called? Snaked.

What happens when a dead snake's carcass is over 60 days old? It has necrotic tissue.

[DoctorC]

Oh, so we've got a pun thread? Feels like a challenge. Let's see if I can put it through a needle.
I wanted to make myself an fried egg, but my legs weren't hot enough.
I broke my laptop, which is suck, because I need to win another race.
In my singleplayer minecraft world there's something spawning ore right outside my house. I think it was Ore-acle
Back to last Chrismas, I hoped for a Miracle, but having a False God appearing under my Christmas tree was really weird.
I made a note the other day that I would probable make a decent musician.
My dad bought a salmon the other day. You know, to see how it tastes. Now, cooked salmon is of-fish-ially my favorite food

[Amashi]

A peacock, to his pelican friend during a tough battle:Keep going! You are a peliCAN, not a peliCANT!
yeah that one sucked didn't it

[Linkcat]

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

Irrelephant.

I'm pretty sure I have better things to be doing at 5 AM.

[Submachine]

I Lolled at this one.

Source: https://imgur.com/gallery/cs1ti

[Wyand]

for those who doesn't understand, the real pun is at the 7th picture.

Spoiler for Hidden:

Xaiver!