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Offline sirboomalot

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Re: Jokes https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=3802.msg44142#msg44142
« Reply #12 on: March 27, 2010, 12:48:24 am »
crap i lost the game again!! from my own post...
and yes i've had a 2 week steak, hasn't every1? their actually kinda tasty, in a way, maybe, :D

Offline Glitch

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Re: Jokes https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=3802.msg44162#msg44162
« Reply #13 on: March 27, 2010, 02:09:35 am »
(Slightly religious, please don't get angry)

So, three men arrive at the gates outside heaven, and all three of them approach the gates of heaven.  And the man at the gate looks at his big book, lowers his eyeglasses, and sighs.  He tells them that only one will be allowed inside that day, and asks all three how they died.
"Well," says the first, "I'm a hard working man, I go to church, but I'm going to be honest, I do not have a clean record.  I believed my wife was cheating on me, so I raced home early after work.  And as I burst in the room, lo and behold she was lying startled in a bed that had clearly had two people in it.  So I stormed all over the house until I found the adulterer, dangling from the balcony.  I was so angry, I smashed his fingers in, but he survived the fall.  So I picked up the refrigerator and threw it at him.  Unfortunately, the strain of the throw and the stress from the adultery raised my blood pressure so high that I had a heart attack and died."
And the man at the gate looked at him.  "So... you're a murderer."  He sighed and told the man to go stand over by the gates.  "NEXT!"
"So..." says the second man, "I'm a stunt man.  I was walking across a clothes line as part of a stunt, when a large roar made the line shake until I fell.  And I remember thinking 'if there's a god I'll live.'  And I did!  I successfully got a handhold on a balcony.  And then this crazy man started stomping on my fingers, and the last thing I remember seeing before I died was a refrigerator falling."
And the man at the gate looked at him, looked at the first man, and then sighed.  He told the two of them to stand together.  "NEXT"
"So," says the third man, "I'm hiding butt naked in this married ladies refrigerator..."

Offline ThalasTopic starter

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Re: Jokes https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=3802.msg44248#msg44248
« Reply #14 on: March 27, 2010, 07:23:15 am »
"My dearest.Be my wife. I don't have villa like Mr. Donut, I don't have newest lamborghini like Mr. Donut, I don't win in lotto 30 000 000 milion dolars like Mr. Donut, but I very love you and I can't exist without you."
Answer:" I love you too, but say me where live that Mr. Donut.
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"Your wife is ugly. What would you do if you caught her with a stranger in bed.
"I would broke his blind stick and shot his dog."
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Re: Jokes https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=3802.msg44868#msg44868
« Reply #15 on: March 28, 2010, 07:45:26 pm »
Whaddya get when you cross a shark with a porcupine?
Answer: As far away as possible.

Offline killsdazombies

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Re: Jokes https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=3802.msg44948#msg44948
« Reply #16 on: March 29, 2010, 01:11:39 am »
Whaddya get when you cross a shark with a porcupine?
Answer: As far away as possible.
lame lol
what do you get when you cross  :darkness with :death.... nothing that games not real

Offline BluePriest

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Re: Jokes https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=3802.msg44952#msg44952
« Reply #17 on: March 29, 2010, 01:26:26 am »
I lost the game....
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Re: Jokes https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=3802.msg46231#msg46231
« Reply #18 on: March 31, 2010, 06:37:46 pm »
Just for all the people like me, who compleatly freaked out during this post, cause they didn't understand anything:

http://ilostthegame.org/rules

Offline killsdazombies

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Re: Jokes https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=3802.msg46249#msg46249
« Reply #19 on: March 31, 2010, 08:02:56 pm »
I lost the game

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Re: Jokes https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=3802.msg49769#msg49769
« Reply #20 on: April 07, 2010, 05:39:11 pm »
Whaddya get when you cross a shark with a porcupine?
A Toadfish.  :))

Offline BluePriest

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Re: Jokes https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=3802.msg50560#msg50560
« Reply #21 on: April 09, 2010, 01:47:00 am »
Chuck Norris CAN win The Game.
Chuck Norris Invented The Game.
The Game tried to make Chuck Norris lose once, and Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicked it. The Blood from it made everyone in the whole world lose at the same time.

/chuck norris related The Game jokes that are really stupid.
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Re: Jokes https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=3802.msg367174#msg367174
« Reply #22 on: July 16, 2011, 10:20:24 pm »
THE GOLF BALL AND THE SAND WEDGE


A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the

bedroom closet. Then the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover

in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already..

The little boy says, 'Dark in here.' The man says, 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have a golf ball.'

Man - 'That's nice.'

Boy - 'Want to buy it?'

Man - 'No, thanks.'

Boy - 'My dad's outside.'

Man - 'OK, how much?'

Boy - '$250'

A few weeks later, it happens again that the boy and the lover, are in the

closet together..

Boy - 'Dark in here.'

Man - 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have sand wedge. 'The lover, remembering the last time, asks the

boy, 'How much?'

Boy - '$750'

Man - 'Sold.'


A few days later, the boys father says to the boy, 'Grab your sand wedge and

golf ball, let's go outside and have some short game practice.
The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my ball and sand wedge dad.'

The father says, 'What?! How much did you sell them for?'
 
Boy - '$1,000.'

The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That

is far more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and

make you confess.'


They go to the church, and the father makes the little boy sit in the

confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, 'Dark in here.'

The priest says, 'Don't start that shit with me again. You're in my closet

now.'
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Re: Jokes https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=3802.msg367176#msg367176
« Reply #23 on: July 16, 2011, 10:37:16 pm »
Unbeknownst to many, Chuck Norris was actually the fourth Wise Man. He gave the baby Jesus the gift of Beard. Jesus loved the gift and wore it proudly until his dying day. The other wise men, jealous that their gifts were not as well received, conspired to have Chuck Norris written out of the Bible. Shortly afterward, they all died of mysterious roundhouse-kick-related injuries.

 

blarg: