Tied at one round a piece, it's time for our competition to take the big stage. Wait, stage? I mean stadium. Round 4 is a pokemon fight!
Riding in on her stolen bicycle, Discord shows up trouserless in a well-ironed school shirt that nearly but not quite comes down far enough to hide her knickers. Her fluffly little cat socks simmilarly show just barely above the line of her oh-so-appropriate footwear (she's a trainer in trainers) and, while her woolen gloves may make ball handling a little more awkward, they sure suit her attire, matching nicely with her happy little Piplup
And, on the other side, staring down the sword girl is her even more outlandishly attired opponent, Arum. He has opted for a heavy parka tucked into more warmly coloured winter trousers that come down well past his ankles and cover most of his thick, home-knitted socks. Ontop of this he wears a flourescent green jockstrap and twin scarves that flow behind him to resemble the tassles of many an anime character. The green and red of his colour scheme, while initially very jarring, is as on theme with his 'monpanion as his opponent's cutesy winterwear, the poke' in question being a buff and eager Ivysaur.
Raring to go, both competitors sent forth their first pokemon. Discord her faithful Piplup "Bubbles" and Arum the Lunatone "Nox". Nox didn't stick around long, however, as it fainted before its second move to a Scald from the Piplup. Boiling water filled Arum's socks and he had to remove them quickly to avoid being scalded himself. Over the course of the match, many substitutions are made, allowing Arum to remove Discord's gloves and shirt in return, but Bubbles soon took the field oncemore and there was simply no stopping her or her partner. Arum was left naked and wet while Discord looked on in her underwear.
Except that wasn't the end. The glucose tests came back positive to prove that she had, infact, being using performance enhancing confectionary. Discord had been feeding her partner illegal rare candies.
With some coopertation from Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny, we got the 'mon's system cleaned out and the battle began again, a close eye watching the young lady and her team this time.
So the fairer rematch began with both Nox and Bubbles taking center stage again, the gloves back on and Arum's clothes dried. And this time, Nox got the jump on its opponent, taking away nearly half of Bubbles' health in a single Moonblast. Bubbles' response was far less damaging but froze the Lunatone solid. Unluckily for Discord, however, this isn't first gen and so her opponent's pokemon defrosts almost immediately, quickly making her remove her gloves with its Psychic powers.
Her next pokemon, Ilo the Ninetails wasn't very effective, falling to a short flurry of earth and ground attacks. Deftly navigating the Earthquake zone, former competitor Dawn_to_Dusk lept on stage to remove the next layer of Discord's clothing, stripping her down to her entropic underwear as he made off with her shirt.
Finally, she began to turn the tables on Arum oncemore with Blizzard the Kyurem's shear Focus Blast pushing through Nox's telepathic assault, cruelly removing his dark green parka right before Ice Beaming Arum's next offering into submission. Cold.
But his Ivysaur wasn't lost in vein, oh no! Blizzard was badly poisoned in the process of removing Arum's socks and, despite taking heavy damage in the process, Kedavra the Alakazam was able to slay the dragon, removing its trainer's trainers in the process.
Both fighters were now a little cautious and neither wanted to take damage from the other. Kedavra began evading attacks while RazorWing the Staraptor took to the skies. Eventually though, Discord's new bird took Arum's first scarf in a Quick Attack.
Next came the Solrock, Starre, who put up an impressive wall of fire attacks that were simply too evadable, leading Arum to swap it out for his Gyarados, Aquaro, who got in a single Crunch before RazorWing flew up high yet again. And so it was Starre's turn to take the hit, resisting the Fly due to its rock type.
Yet again though, Starre proved ineffective against the self-healing and highly evasive Staraptor, forcing Arum to beg help from a fellow forum member, Skotadi the Gengar, irreflective spirit of the night.
Skotti, too, was beamed back fast, having only stuck around to poison his avian foe but having lost almost half his health in the process. It seems like Starre's special attack reduction wasn't much use here but still it returned to the field, soaking up hits just long enough for the toxin to work. And so, our resident crowd-perv, ever eager to remove Discord's clothes, takes her pinky purple knickers and reveals her to be roughly the same colour beneath.
But just because her bottom half is gone doesn't mean she's lost. No, Discord calls forth Shadow the Woobat and attempts to drain Starre of energy, only to lose her last item of clothing to a mighty Waterfall from Aquaro, leaving her just as wet and nude as Arum was previously.
Arum is the winner in his winter trousers and external jockstrap, solitary scarf blowing in the wind, having never revealed his sensual side of neck area*.
But though he might have won the battle, Arum has not won the war and only you can decide who performed the most sexily. Please vote now.
*Studies show this to be the most attractive male bodypart. They're probably bogus.
Poll
