There is someone at school who I despise. Utter loathing. I have figured out a torture method for him and everything.
I will hook giant hooks under his collarbone. I will attach these hooks to a crane and lift him up. I will then drop him, but, just before he hits the ground, I will stop him from dropping. This will rip out his collarbone from his chest.
If he is somehow still alive, I will stab his eyes with a fork before gouging them out with a spoon. And then, Columbian Necktie.
The problem is, I don't have enough money to pay someone to do this and if I do it, I will not be able to participate in future endeavours. Please help.
On the other hand... Sko, you always said you want to come to Australia...