Beat Chuck Norris

[Zack1234567890]

SG's basement is actully inside chuck norrises basement so he already escaped and banned scaregirl from life

I make him listen to bieber for ever while Mr. T pitys him 

[Ekki]

1st: you can't "make" HIM do anything.
2nd: Justin Bieber is alive because Chuck Norris wanted a new way to torture the masses, so if at any time that turns against him, Justin Bieber would turn to ash (without rebirth).
3rd: ANY Mr. can pity Chuck. Chuck Norris is Mr. Pain and his roundhouse kick is death itself. So "see you in the moon Mr. T!!".
4th: Roundhouse kick. Again.


I call the meteorite from Armaggedon, but 15x times bigger, firing Lazzzors and with over a thousand aliens with nuclear weapons and plasma breathe, all going to fall over Chuck Norris while he's sleeping.

[BluePriest]

Chuck Norris Starts sleepwalking and his 3rd fist (hidden in his chin) accidentally punches a lazer, and multiplies it by the power of 1 Chuck Punch, which makes the strength of the lazer greater than infinity when it collides back into the meteor, destroying it instantly. Chuck Norris then yawns while sleeping, its soundwave going faster than the spee of light, which immidiatly makes the gas dissipate

[killybob]

right then i summon my mother to nag chuck norris about homework, tidying beds, and a whole array of other unbearables! ha beat that

[Norbert Hawk]

CNN = Chuck Norris Network

[killybob]

Chuck norris does not eat honey, he chews bees

[Ekki]

Chuck norris does not eat honey, he chews bees

Chuck Norris can cut a knife with a melon.
Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim on land/walk on Jesus. [/offtopic]

right then i summon my mother to nag chuck norris about homework, tidying beds, and a whole array of other unbearables! ha beat that

But Chuck Norris doesn't have homework, because he doesn't have to learn anything, and any "work" he have, is done before someone handles it to him (unless he don't want to do it, obviously).
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits, so no bed.
Chuck Norris can bear anything, or roundhouse kick it if he wants.


I challenge Chuck Norris to drink any strong acid and eat a ton of nails, while he's standing on the cold surface of Pluto.

[Norbert Hawk]

Chuck Norris can burn the sun!

[killybob]

I challenge Chuck Norris to drink any strong acid and eat a ton of nails, while he's standing on the cold surface of Pluto.

the acid melts in his mouth, the nails turn into a metal ball in his mouth and pluto put's the heating up in case chuck complains.

i summon all the FGs to attack him while he is in an unstoppable state of paralysis, has cotton wool in his ears, a scarf over his eyes, and his head in the ground.

chuck norris counted to infinity... twice

[Ekki]

i summon all the FGs to attack him while he is in an unstoppable state of paralysis, has cotton wool in his ears, a scarf over his eyes, and his head in the ground.

How in hell are you supposed to "stop" Chuck Norris. Anyways, Chuck Norris' sweat is Red Bull, and his blood is full of adrenaline, so I guess ANY paralysis won't last too much.
Chuck Norris swallowed ten times the lethal doze -for an elephant- of elephant sleeping pills... That day he blinked.

Let's imagine Chuck Norris doesn't move -because he wants- and puts his head into the ground with cotton wool in his ears and a scarf over his eyes.
1- His Anti-FG deck contains only unupped shards and relics, and a "Chuck Norris" card (yes, it's only 25 cards, but he wanted it that way). He never lost to a single FG.
2- The Chuck Norris card is so OP that Zanz nerfed it a hundred times, just to obligue you to play it before you can win.
3- The RNG is scared of Chuck, so he/she won't even dare to give him a bad draw.
4- The Chuck Norris card can play it by itself, because Chuck Norris doesn't accept orders from anyone -except from himself-, and kills (literally) both players. But the real Chuck Norris is the only one that can control the card, and the only one that the card can't kill.
5- Two words: Roundhouse Kick (costs 0 quanta, deals 500 damage to target player, all the creatures on the field and destroys every permanent on the field, and doesn't mind if they are protected/immaterial, he just kick 'em. Can't be reflected.)

[Sug81]

When I was reading this topic I thought that every man would like to be Chuck Norris. Even Chuck Norris would like to be the man you are describing. 

[killybob]

indeed he would. Chuck Norris can tell you how to get to Sesame Street