I'm pretty sure you know what to do
1. "My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met."
Rodney Dangerfield
2."I'm not as think as you drunk I am."
Mega Jones
3. "Robbers demand your money or your life; women require both."
Samuel Butler
4."I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell."
Garry Shandling
5."I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming."
Jimmy Carter
6."I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose."
Dennis Miller
7."A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success."
Robert Orben
8."Die, v.: To stop sinning suddenly."
Elbert Hubbard
9."Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist."
Michael Levine
10."A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones."
Cher
