WARNING: contains profanity. Not sure if that's suitable for you. Proceed with caution.
5 Popular Excuses for Doing Pretty Much Anything
A Helpful Guide
5. "For science!"The Scenario:Say, you're currently walking down the street with your girlfriend/boyfriend when you see a suspicious man with camera approaching you and asking whether they can grab your girlfriend/your boobs while on camera. You reluctantly allow them while thinking of the craziness of the scenario. You ask, calmly of course since you're a nice guy/girl, why did he do that.
"For science."
Keep that in mind the next time your friend is coming to your house while naked and with rat labs dangling on his arms.
What you think you're doing"Holy shit, I am doing something INCREDIBLY CRAZY and I have to record it to analyze the data later! I'm totally making a scientific breakthrough! LOOK AT ME, THE FUTURE NEWTON!"
What people think you're doing"Hello, 911? There is this crazy naked man hanging rats on his arms and shouting 'for science!' repeatedly. Please catch him ASAP before he infects my mind with his scientist-like attitude because he might be a real scientist. Also, while you're at it, please bring along a brain bleach."
4. "Because you only live once!"The Scenario:It was a great party. Okay, not really great, just an okay party. And you're pretty drunk too, but still sober enough to stand and walk, though you're feeling a little dizzy.
Damn, that chick is hot. I guess I'll sleep with her, just for tonight. Nothing bad is going to happen, right?
RIGHT?
What you think you're doing"Okay, so I slept with underaged girl, but that's only because she was there. She's practically asking me to bang her. And besides, I was drunk, and- hey, don't lock me here! You only live once, right? You've gotta enjoy it, right? RIGHT?!"
What people think you're doing"If you think you only live once, then try having your underaged daughter violated by that motherfucker. See how you feel. While you're at it, why don't you strip down and run across the street? You know, for science."
3. "Because f$!k you, that's why!"The Scenario:It was a stressful day. Everyone's been yelling at you. And you can't take it anymore. Too many caring, too many giving a shit about people. What you need now is a let-out. So you start drinking and flipping everyone passing by on the street. They're all mindless bastards who only make you stress. Fuck everyone, fuck you! I don't need you!
What you think you're doing"I'm sick of all this giving a fuck about people's life! It's MY life, and I damn well live it MY way! No one can tell me what to do or what not to do, you hear me?"
What people think you're doing"Oh, please. Everyone has a stressful life, yet you don't see hobos all over the street. That's because they actually know what to do and what not to do. It includes not flipping your boss at work if you still want to get money. Money to eat. Or what, you want to eat from the trash can?"
2. "Because I love you!"The Scenario:So it was Valentine (or White Day or whatever the hell you want the day to be) and you want to leave an impression to your significant other. Merely decorating the room with roses and removing all the lights and replace them with candles won't do the trick. And no, that aromatherapy costs much more than you think they should, so you don't use them. It's all mainstream. You know, acting all romantic and lovey dovey or something.
So, what better way to express your love? Why, have a tattoo of him/her over your arm of course! Alternatively, just wait in the balcony while being naked and with decorations dangling all over you. Something like chocolate maybe. It's even more romantic with rats holding the chocolate.
What you think you're doing"Hey look, I am cute and totally romantic, except I'm not mainstream and I'm strong-willed and liberal and I will do anything for love and I won't ever back off from people yelling me to stop because they don't know what love is and- hey, where are you taking me ouch stop it stop it STOP IT STOOP!!!"
What people think you're doing"My boyfriend/girlfriend is a psycho and I will break up on him/her ASAP. With a hammer if needed."
1. "Because God say so!"The Scenario:Sigh. Those ignorant bastards are overpopulating the world. Gay, lesbian, straight, transgender, black people, white people, man, woman, kids and elderly. Do they know that God forbids gay marriage because so and so? I don't think you know! So you should know that because I'm going to fucking cram it in your little brain, you bitch! It's a one-man crusade against the corruption of the world! Join me! Together, we will make the world a better place! Because God say so!
What you think you're doing"Holy shit, I'm so religious that I call an excrement 'holy'! I am so going to straighten this world so people around me can live better! No more war, no more hate, after I'm finished with my domination!"
What people think you're doing"Oh look, a talking monkey."
I hope this is funny. I don't mean to offend anyone. If i do, i apologize.
