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Offline ddevans96

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Re: Jokes (Keep Them Clean) https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=16776.msg238729#msg238729
« Reply #36 on: January 02, 2011, 04:18:03 pm »
Two guys walked into a bar...

 OW! OW!
I don't get this one :)

So, a baby seal walks into a club..
Or this one :)
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Offline vrt

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Re: Jokes (Keep Them Clean) https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=16776.msg238751#msg238751
« Reply #37 on: January 02, 2011, 04:36:22 pm »
Two guys walked into a bar...

 OW! OW!
I don't get this one :)

So, a baby seal walks into a club..
Or this one :)
That's good; if the kids don't get them, they're child-friendly, right? :p
So long and thanks for all the fish!

Offline BluePriest

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Re: Jokes (Keep Them Clean) https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=16776.msg238834#msg238834
« Reply #38 on: January 02, 2011, 06:21:56 pm »
The bar one is commonly said like this.
2 guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
Its a metal bar.
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Offline XYTWO

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Re: Jokes (Keep Them Clean) https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=16776.msg238859#msg238859
« Reply #39 on: January 02, 2011, 06:47:38 pm »
So I'm a bartender, right? And suddenly, a priest, a monkey, a ghost, Frankenstein, an aristocrat, and a Navy SEAL walk in. So I'm like, "Is this some kind of joke?"

Lame, but hey. It's a "walks into a bar joke" joke. :P

Offline ddevans96

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Re: Jokes (Keep Them Clean) https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=16776.msg238921#msg238921
« Reply #40 on: January 02, 2011, 08:11:45 pm »
The bar one is commonly said like this.
2 guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
Its a metal bar.
*facepalm* That makes sense :))
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Offline Appawesome

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Re: Jokes (Keep Them Clean) https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=16776.msg240661#msg240661
« Reply #41 on: January 05, 2011, 12:10:20 am »
How many teenage girls does it take to replace a lightbulb
 Eleven. One to change the lightbulb and ten to take 200 pictures and put it on facebook clogging your newsfeed. (It has  happened...)

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Re: Jokes (Keep Them Clean) https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=16776.msg240714#msg240714
« Reply #42 on: January 05, 2011, 01:56:32 am »
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Arizona. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Arizona. We settle small disagreements like this with the Arizona Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Arizona Three Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot! Now, it’s my turn!"

The old farmer grinned and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck!"
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