Your post is a bit vague as to whether you are using PvP Duel, or hoping to luck upon each other in PvP1 or PvP2.
However, I wouldn't be surprised if this was PvP Duel, the connections never seem to be as great as they should be, and while it is much better than it used to be, it's still a while away from perfect.
From an individuals point of view, I'm pretty sure clearing the cache helps get games sorted, as well as not changing between tabs (pretty sure different windows are fine). However, its still not ideal, and as for the server and connection issues, they usually get slighltly improved upon with each update.
As to the friends list/chat room, I completely agree that something in-game should be implemented. The forums are great, and fun, but at the same time, they don't even come close to catering to the sheer number of elements players. I still think that the way to move the game forward is to expand the PvP system in the game itself, so battling with randoms and people you know is more fun, friends list and automatic PvP Duelling options.
However, at this current point in time, there hasn't been any news on a possible expansion of the PvP Game (Possibly even a PvP Lobby), but the connection issues at least will get better.