Corrupt A Wish 2.0

[artimies7]

Granted, but all the green-ness makes the president go blind and the Secret Service tortures you for the rest of your life.

I wish for mad ninja skills.

[doublecross]

Granted, you are now a mentally insane ninja.
I wish for a bottle of scotch that will never run dry.

[Five In One]

Granted. You now have a bottle of moist Scotch tape.
I wish doublecross had the kind of bottle of scotch that he actually wished for.

[doublecross]

Granted, it will never run dry, because it is un-openable.
I wish for civility and intelligence on the internet.

[Five In One]

Granted, but you lose it everywhere else.
I wish I didn't have a headache right now.

[doublecross]

Granted. You no longer have a head.
I wish that  didn't remind me so much of a mosquito.

[Five In One]

Granted. Now  reminds you of drowning.
I wish for something.

[doublecross]

Granted, the something is the knowledge that I actually saw someone drown when I was little. It is a tragic story, and now the guilt you feel grates on your conscience.
I wish  no longer reminded me of drowning.

[Five In One]

Granted, but now you can't be reminded of anything.
I wish I didn't feel so guilty now...

[$$$man]

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