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Offline Bloodshadow

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Re: Gradual Massacre by Gl1tch https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=7906.msg90892#msg90892
« Reply #72 on: June 14, 2010, 01:49:05 am »
Icy, you forgot to mention Nanuuk's eye color. I'll assume it's blue...

Editing.


"Who g-goes there?" Asked a frightened voice. In the darkness, Jonathan could faintly see the smooth, polished surface of a blue crystal orb. The voice sounded scared, and Jonathan decided that it was probably not hostile.

"My name is Jonathan Solaris," said Jonathan. "I come in peace." Opening his right palm, Jonathan conjured a small but bright sphere of white light. In the faint light, Jonathan could see his new friend more clearly. He seemed to be about as tall as Jonathan himself, and also wearing a white cloak. But what surprised Jonathan was his face. His skin was an inhuman shade of pale blue, with a thin white beard; a pair of bright blue eyes stared back at Jonathan. The blue-skinned being was holding a magician's staff made from white wood, with an orb of ice on top. Jonathan could vaguely sense that this being was not human; his aura seemed more profound and mysterious. A spirit, perhaps?

Suddenly, Jonathan tensed. He had sensed someone else behind him. A powerful presence. He would have drawn his sword, if not for the fact that the newcomer seemed to radiate an aura of Light, like Jonathan himself. Nonetheless, Jonathan turned around abruptly, focusing his golden eyes on... an angel. And an archangel, by the looks of him. He was a tall figure, clad in white armor that seemed to radiate a faint blue glow. He had glowing silvery white hair, and warm, compassionate blue eyes. A pair of magnificent white wings spread behind him.

"Greetings, and I would hope, well met," the newcomer said in a clear, ringing voice. "I am Arcterael, the Archangel of Hope. Since it seems that you are not tainted by Evil, and considering that it seems that we find ourselves in the same dilemma, I propose the following: co-operation and mutual assistance, if anything, to survive together."

Oh, no, Jonathan thought. Was he one of the archangels who sent me to exile? What is he doing here? Trying to persecute me further?

If you resent your banishment, why not destroy the archangel? Asked an eerie, sinister voice in the bottom of Jonathan's heart. You have the strength, and the power.

But not the right, retorted Jonathan. Go away, Eclipsis. Stop bothering me.

The dark voice faded with a malevolent chuckle.

The archangel did not seem to recognize Jonathan. Good, maybe he can help us after all, he thought. "Greetings, Arcterael. My name is Jonathan Solaris. I am half angel, and you may call me by my angelic name, Solariel, if you wish."


To be or not to be, I can do both at once. Go learn quantum mechanics, n00b.

Offline Essence

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Re: Gradual Massacre by Gl1tch https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=7906.msg90905#msg90905
« Reply #73 on: June 14, 2010, 02:09:41 am »
Not to rain on your parade, Helios, but you've basically ignored everything that came before you describing the environment, monsters, etc.  I was under the assumption that we had to build this world together, basing our writings on what was written before us, yes?
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Re: Gradual Massacre by Gl1tch https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=7906.msg90909#msg90909
« Reply #74 on: June 14, 2010, 02:15:07 am »
Now that I have read your completely updated previous post, you may be right, Essence.

Unfortunately, when I had begun writing, you had not yet described the monsters/environment which came about in the latter half of your post.

I will see if I can accommodate it.

Offline Essence

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Re: Gradual Massacre by Gl1tch https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=7906.msg90911#msg90911
« Reply #75 on: June 14, 2010, 02:16:19 am »
You know, it's actually cool if you just add in a bit in the beginning about how you leave the first room and encounter the enemies on a trip down a side hallway.  Or something. :)
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Re: Gradual Massacre by Gl1tch https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=7906.msg90913#msg90913
« Reply #76 on: June 14, 2010, 02:19:42 am »
You know, it's actually cool if you just add in a bit in the beginning about how you leave the first room and encounter the enemies on a trip down a side hallway.  Or something. :)
Consider it done, or at least once I get some food :)

Offline Bloodshadow

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Re: Gradual Massacre by Gl1tch https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=7906.msg90922#msg90922
« Reply #77 on: June 14, 2010, 02:32:28 am »
I finished my part.

Helios, you may have forgotten the [/color] tag.
To be or not to be, I can do both at once. Go learn quantum mechanics, n00b.

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Re: Gradual Massacre by Gl1tch https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=7906.msg90930#msg90930
« Reply #78 on: June 14, 2010, 02:41:33 am »
I finished my part.

Helios, you may have forgotten the [/color] tag.
I have used it, but in vain, as the post above demonstrates (the only change being "[/color]" appears visibly at the post's end).

Am I inserting it wrongly?

Offline Glitch

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Re: Gradual Massacre by Gl1tch https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=7906.msg90932#msg90932
« Reply #79 on: June 14, 2010, 02:43:41 am »
You can't have the color tags outside the center tags.

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Re: Gradual Massacre by Gl1tch https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=7906.msg90937#msg90937
« Reply #80 on: June 14, 2010, 02:46:52 am »
Problem resolved. Thank you.

Offline Bloodshadow

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Re: Gradual Massacre by Gl1tch https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=7906.msg90949#msg90949
« Reply #81 on: June 14, 2010, 03:06:51 am »
Waiting for Helios or Icy...
To be or not to be, I can do both at once. Go learn quantum mechanics, n00b.

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Re: Gradual Massacre by Gl1tch https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=7906.msg90993#msg90993
« Reply #82 on: June 14, 2010, 03:54:10 am »
Abe grinned from the spot that she was in, leaning against the wall. It seemed like this was like the fights she had seen down at home. A group of people had a limited range in the area, the zone of combat. They would attempt to get people out of the area by pushing them inside buildings or out of the boundaries set. She wasn't the best at the game, but she was confidant that she could last a while in this.

She started walking away from the wall, unknowingly starting the stretching process that a piece of gum does. The sound of fighting made her grin, but the pain of something cutting into her changed it into a growl. Whipping around, Abe saw her gum chain snapped and a big...something. She couldn't tell in this light.

With her left arm gone, she had only one arm at her disposal to deal with the thing. She shifted her weight, drawing gum from her stomach to create a crude baseball bat in her remaining hand. It wouldn't be as effective as it could be, considering that she was saving most of her metal stores for better purposes.

The gum monster smirked as the creature moved towards her, waiting for it to attack. Finally, it lunged in a method that she had seen crabs on the beach do. She rolled under the creature as it lunged and turned around.

Tong!

Abe grinned as the crab was knocked unconscious. As she looked the crab over, her stomach rumbled. "Whoo! Food time!" She called out before whacking it on the body a few more times.

By the time she was finished, raw crab meat was strewn on the ground. She shrugged, letting the bat go back to her stomach. "Shouldn't let those go to waste." She mumbled as she picked up the shell shards. They were the right size for eating, she judged.

And so, Abe feasted on the beast until the only thing that was left was large pieces of the shell. That was only because she couldn't break them. With a burp going through the air, she went over and collected the gum to remake her left arm.
-----
That was a fun one!

Offline Essence

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Re: Gradual Massacre by Gl1tch https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=7906.msg91012#msg91012
« Reply #83 on: June 14, 2010, 04:23:10 am »
Fixari: same problem as Helios.  You need to read what's already been written so that your story meshes with the overall description and plot as it lies.  In this case, you could do almost that same story but trade 'crab' in for 'cat', and 'shell' for 'bones', and you'd be just fine.
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anything
blarg: