Elements Brawl!

[Kamietsu]

Elements Brawl
by Jallen

General Idea:  All the posters are involved in a massive fight.

Rules:

1) Posts are made of up two parts each.  The first is some way of avoiding the attack in the previous post.  The second is your counter attack.
2) Your attack are always directed at the next poster, so don't say that you attack a specific person, use the word 'you.'
3) You can not post what happens to other people, you can only post what you try to do. (E.g. no: "I attack you and you(r) die/arms flies off/head is decapitated.")

Example:
Post 1: I throw a chair at your head.
Post 2: I use my psychic powers to stop the chair in midair.  I attempt to force-choke you.
Post 3: I use my asthma inhaler to stop from suffocating.  My ninja bodyguards attack from all directions.
Post 4: Their katanas bounce harmlessly off of my fully functioning Iron-Man suit.  I start firing nuclear missiles at you.
Post 5: My U.N. disarmament treaty cancels out your nukes.  My lawyers serve you with divorce papers.
Post 6: I show them a signed pre-nup agreement.  I raise an army of undead to do my bidding.
Etc...


I throw rabid raccoons at you.

[jallenw]

I spray acme-brand raccoon repellent on myself.

I rub my magic lamp, a genie pops out, and I wish for you to be in terrible pain.

[Demagog]

It turns out to be the genie from The Arabian Nights and he takes vengeance upon you for releasing him.

[icybraker]

I summon a stronger genie which beats him up. The genie fetches a grand piano, which promptly plummets down onto your waiting head.

[dragonhuman]

The people delivering the piano to the Genie dropped it before it got there. I throw a pool of quickersand at your feet

[Wisemage]

I fly out using my Jetpack.

I chuck a lightsaber at your chest.

[redtom7]

i force push it back at you
i launch a seeking missile at you

[jallenw]

I use a sharpie to change it to a 'Sinking' missle instead and it sinks to the bottom of the sea.
I press the 'BIG RED BUTTON'.

[Glitch]

I die.

I bleed all over your new suit.

[Baily18]

I wash the suit and pretend nothing happened.

I throw a cookie at you

[killsdazombies]

I eat it, then whip up a pancake and slap you with it!

[icybraker]

I spend 5 and whip up my Otyugh, who eats the pancake. Then, he leaps to eat YOU.