Corrupt A Wish 4.0

[regen2k9]

Granted, you are now the CEO of Time magazine.

I wish that mayonnaise were an element.

[Drake_XIV]

Um, granted, but all the mayonnaise spoils before it can be used.

I wish people weren't so hypocritical.

[pvpmister]

Granted, you are the only person that is now. Now, no-one likes you.
I wish for someone to post my PROPER RL name

[regen2k9]

Granted, someone will eventually, just not me.

I wish the next person's wish would be about me wishing for the next person's wish to be about my wish.

[Cheesy111]

Granted, but he chooses a different wish.
I wish I could sing in a slightly decent manner.

[regen2k9]

Granted, you are now Lady Gaga.  Enjoy your meat suit 

I wish I owned a G6.

[KeeperofDreams]

Granted, you get two plastic toy refrigerator magnets, one the letter G, the other the number 6.
I wish for everyone's ability to grant or make any future wishes to be taken away.

[regen2k9]

Granted, now your wish doesn't come true.

I wish I had a time machine

[rowcla]

Granted, but its 20% less cool than the TARDIS
I wish for the orchestra im in to do all these pony orchestra pieces of music

[FlareGlutox]

Granted, but they feel that you don't fit the orchestra anymore, now that it has changed its repertoire. So you get kicked out.

I wish for being able to live without drinking, eating and breathing and that I don't feel the needs to do so (like hunger and thirst).

[bledsoealex8]

Granted,I take a sword and run it through your chest. 
I wish that the forums were reigned by aether 8)

[rowcla]

Granted, but then they are disqualified from every war afterwards due to cheating there way to victory
I wish for less of this wub wub stuff in music...