Corrupt A Wish 4.0

[eaglgenes101]

Granted, you keep creating into walls since you can't see them.

Now... The quest for the uncorruptible wish...
I wish for a hamburger.

[Drake_XIV]

Granted.  It's 3 years old.

I wish I could not dream.

[AnimationX]

Granted. You can't imagine either.
I wish for more elements.

[Drake_XIV]

Granted.  You get Lead poisoning.

I wish EtG was a real TCG

[eaglgenes101]

Granted. As a result, you have to roll a d12 27 times in an FG simulation against you little brother.
I wish for a freshly made hamburger.

[Drake_XIV]

Granted, but it was made from a diseased pig.  (You asked for a HAMburger)

I wish I was a bit better at Settlers of Catan.

[FlareGlutox]

Granted, you now are so good that everybody accuses you of cheating (like adding more recource cards to your hand while nobody watches), so nobody wants to play with you anymore.

I wish for wood to become fire-proof.

[Drake_XIV]

Granted, but now you can't start a fire when you are in the middle of the Canadian wilderness.

I wish I had access to classified government files.

[FlareGlutox]

Why should I be in the Canadian wilderness? ???

Granted, you now have access to files, which were classified as nonsense by the government; articles written by creationists for example.

I wish for a windowless room with a light switch in it.

[Drake_XIV]

Granted.  You are trapped in said room.  There are no windows or doors and the switch turns on a light outside the room.  You die of suffocation.

I wish I could hold my breath indefinitely.

[FlareGlutox]

Granted, you do this whilst immobilizing indefinitely without the ability to mobilize again. So you slowly die of thirst while all of your senses are active.

I wish for less egoistic wishes on this thread. (I know, many of my wishes were egoistic, too, but this wish will be corrupted anyway, so it doesn't matter.)

[Drake_XIV]

Granted, but no one wants to corrupt the wishes.

I wish FlareGlutox would come up with an uncorruptable wish.