Corrupt A Wish 3.0

[ztormtrooper]

granted you are mortal

i wish for a stick on the ground in front of me that cant hurt me and i have a bubblez shield around me

[ninjamaster1991]

granted, but the bullet that comes from it does hurt.
                                   
 I wish for a wish for (repeat for infinity)

[ztormtrooper]

granted you have desire a desire to dance

i wish for ze vodkaz

[ninjamaster1991]

granted, you get a papaer with "ze vodkaz" written on it.

I wish for fish.

[Luminous Umbra]

Granted, you are visited by a group of flying, angry shortfin mako sharks.

I wish that when someone grants this wish, that someone's keyboard breaks.

[SickTanicK]

Granted. But I got a new keyboard.
I wish for a giant monkey to take over the world!

[Five In One]

Granted.

...What? Giant monkey overlords are the most terrifying creatures imaginable! There's nothing worse than that! Don't they teach anything in schools anymore?

I wish to defeat the giant monkey overlord and save the 9th dimmension.

[Funkyvenom]

granted, but I kill you and destroy the 9th dimension

I wish for my own private continent and 500 trillion dollars

[Five In One]

Just gonna quote this one.

Granted, but the word for "dollar" gets changed to mean "hungry killer shark below you".

Also gonna add that "continent" now means "neverending unescapable abyss of eternal pain and suffering".

I wish I had a hat.

[ztormtrooper]

granted but i get the hatz because maces dont wear hats

i wish for alchohol

[SickTanicK]

Granted. You get alchohol. But all your alcohols are belong to me.
I wish for something no one else has wished for.

[Luminous Umbra]

Granted, you are sat upon by Godzilla.

I wish for a jar of dirt.