Corrupt A Wish 2.0

[ninjamaster1991]

Granted, but it's so large, it crushes you.

I wish for 5 minutes of bliss.

[Ryli]

Granted, but they will soon be over.

I wish for ninjamaster to have 5 minutes of despair.

[ninjamaster1991]

granted, but it happens to you too.

I wish for me to be blissfully immortal.

[Nepycros]

Granted, you go into absolute stasis for all eternity.

I wish 2012 didn't have so much hype. (Stupid Mayans)

[ZephyrPhantom]

Granted, now everyone has hype about 2011 instead thanks to good ol' paradox.
I wish for 8.

[ninjamaster1991]

granted, it's 8 you's. A paradox occurs, destroying all 9 of you.

I wish for your kidneys.

[Nepycros]

Granted, they were horrible to begin with.

I wish for extra fingers on my hands that had practical use.

[Ryli]

Granted. You are taken to a research lab to find the uses of your new fingers.

I wish for a good, well paid job

[ZephyrPhantom]

Granted. You were a dictator.  You got assasinated.
I wish for 9.

[ninjamaster1991]

Granted. you get 9 demons. They you kill you instantly.

I wish for a non-deadly pizza.

[ZephyrPhantom]

Granted, but I swap my next wish for 10 with your wish.  I get pizza and you get 10 bulls stampeding on you.
I wish for Electrum.

[Nepycros]

Granted, the extreme pressure of 12902453546654656 electrum coins falling on you crushes you instantaneously.

I wish I didn't have the most posts in this topic.