I have already been hopping in chat every now and then, but suffice it to say I've never been happier to prove myself wrong.
Well, this has been coming for about 2 years. With my last period of inactivity I figured I just needed a break to chill out, a long break at that.
But my time here lately has left me... empty with fulfillment. I feel there is little to nothing left for me to accomplish: having most highly competitive matches depend primarily on RNG (instead of skill making me win or lose, but only putting me on near-equal footing with my opponent), owning nearly a full set of upgrades, over 1 million score and enough electrum to upgrade all the new cards that will come in the next 10 years: which brings me to my next point.
And so what? For the past time I have been playing a bit every now and then, and guess what: I enjoyed it. One does need a clear goal in mind to casually enjoy a game.
Though before anything I feel like I must say I have always been a person to accentuate the negative: Darkness over Light and flaws over perks. I seldom feel content about anything which I feel needs to be said before addressing my complaints: I feel like the game is only going backwards from here. Servers show increasing downtime and Zanzarino shows decreasing activity. As all are aware shards were not exactly a step forward, and the lack of adding non-shard cards or balancing of cards altogether has us playing the same (mind) games over and over again. Of course, for new people whom have not yet been through this all: it is definitely fun while you still have progress left ahead of you.
Yet here we stand, 2 years later. ETG has not come to an end, nor is it about to.
Most people that meant a lot to me are long gone by now, like by about the 2 years I mentioned earlier. It was then that I had the most fun, upcoming Master of Darkness and Tournament Organizer of flourishing tournaments filling chats beyond their capacity, you can smell the nostalgia... main reason I quit TO back in the day was having to get up early for Eastern Tournament when I finally had a week-end where I wanted to sleep late, which got me all that more cranky about participants' discontent. I stopped defending the Master of Darkness title because it was no longer a fun challenge to defend it...
Still. I feel like I should still commend at least one person that is still around for all the years I have been here without giving non-sarcastic compliments. So I'll compliment Higurashi on keeping a forum alive from a game that I consider dead. Seriously isn't easy.
And such is the way of life, but how do the new people truly differ from the old? Only in the fond memories in the past: but new ones can be made, such is the way of life in general.
Last but not least: the final drop to drown the bucket has always been one person. I feel like a relic from a long-gone age of honor and duty and haven't left in all this time due to feeling obliged to make the best of this forum for all it used to mean to me. But as long a there are people that make me feel unwelcome... their presence is like a cancer in my conscience: slowly growing into a frustration I can no longer ignore. I apologize to dark ripper and nireus for leaving early, before team pvp is over and I apologize to all but 2 people from brawl for leaving early: those 2 being 1 inactive and 1 person that has left me feeling most unwelcome. I shall refrain myself from endless long rants of rage, but I am not one to linger around when I do not feel welcome.
And here shows my mistake, I cared TOO much to the point of rage. The only expectations I have truly failed, are the ones only I set for myself: just as while as a TO I was upset with myself for not leaving EVERYONE satisfied with EVERY tournament and, as bug hunter, to feel responsible for answering EVERY question or topic made in that area.
No one has ever done those things, nor do I think anyone ever will, yet somehow: that is exactly what I expected myself to do. Just as I expected to win everything from war to every other (pvp) event, but the answer is clear: moderation. I'll just occasionally hop in and enjoy a few games: as long as I do not set unrealistic expectations for myself, there will not be a need to be disappointed -nay,
enraged- not to meet them. Just playing
matches to have fun, instead of playing them to win. So see you around