You know, I started to play the game when the old pillar art was used and sundials didn't exist (let alone last two turns).
And now I'm here, right? Leaving the forums and I having not been a Guildmaster for two months nor being a NewsLetter Writer for a year. Something I'm terribly ashamed of.
Right before Zblader left, I had a lengthy conversation with him about the forums and it's affect on our lives. I think this prompted me to think more about my upcoming year. My summer has already been hectic and busy (something I do indeed love), and the quickly approaching school year will swallow me whole if I'm not completely and totally focused on my 4 APs and other classes, (I'll be a junior).
Writing this, on my birthday, the 23rd of June, I'm having trouble putting into words what I want to say. My one hope is that I go out with dignity. I pray I did something that people will talk about in 5 years. It's troubling me that I don't know the perfect balance of excuse/reason making, self-deprecation, pride, thanks, and apologies to put into this.
Two months ago, if you told me I'd be writing one of these, I wouldn't believe you. I'd say you were crazy; I'm superman, I can balance school, work, church, family, and special events, as well as the Elements forum. I'd say that I'll just stay up late, and wake up too early, and drink coffee. Haha, I was sure that was how it was going to go.
Let me tell you, I'm a person who loves to plan. I love having a schedule, then following the schedule, to a T.
Age is irrelevant, attitude is the deciding factor, I hate condescension.
So, for all of you still here, let me tell you how I've gotten to where I am now. Just recently I attended 2 leadership seminar/conferences and a Christian music festival. In the days I spent at each of those events, I made unbreakable bonds and relationships with people as well as strengthening the ones that already existed. As I grow older and older, I'm finding that figuring myself out is much harder and confusing then I intended and assumed. I'm usually the one person in a group who has it all together, is completely focused, and leads to victory. So being distracted, confused and spread too thin, I can't effectively and efficiently do my jobs in any area. I've also found (to my great surprise) a huge need to have a bigger and more intimate group of friends, this being something I now want (and have badly needed for years).
So here I am, right? Here's what I hope you'll agree with me on/are convinced of ::
- By now I've completed the July NewsLetter, and it was decent.
- I'm not quitting (well, I'm leaving, but I hate "quit"), rather prioritizing my life, making the right decision even if it isn't my favorite decision.
- I'm extremely saddened and apologetic that my GuildMaster-ing didn't turn out the way I planned it to.
My thanks (in no particular order) :
One my my first close friends and then co-staffer,
whatifidogetcaught?: God I hope you see this. You are incredible at BBC. You are wonderfully unique and our conversations were always so productive. You let me be crazy, and we worked so well. Here's knowing you'll do an even better job after I'm gone. Be sure to rough up the new NWs.
n00b: You're gone now. Thank you for being my role-model. I feel we both went down the same path, from not a staffer to multiple positions to ending our time here. Thank you for always answering my bugging questions in chat, and encouraging me to do things I would never dream of.
Hyroen: You're incredible. You're so smart, and very good at working the forums. From what I know from chat discussion, you're always in a lovely mood, ready to joke or get work done or argue. Keep your head up with Guilds, my sincerest apologies.
Onizuka, just recently I got to know you. You're obviously very smart, and able to tackle all tasks. I love that you're always in chat so I could seek advice, and be my curious self.
Zblader, it's not a coincidence we're both leaving somewhat around the same time. You know how you helped me, and I'm grateful.
Higurashi, thank you for disagreeing with me, on multiple occasions. I feel disagreements are healthy, if everyone agreed all the time, nothing would work nearly as efficiently as they could.
Calindu,
majofa,
inthisroom,
Drake_XIV, interviewees, I thank you for making the NewsLetter soooo much better, and not making me write horrible reviews.
Thank you 6th Council for putting up with my extreme newbie-ness. You made the experience very nice and decently fun.
Thank you community for giving your opinions, in threads, chat, PMs. For participating, voting, nominating, tolerating me and wiidgc. I appreciate you.
My concerns:
Community: Stick with Guilds. All three GMs are just having a lot of trouble (with life, I believe), but have hope and patience. The forums easily survived without Guilds, and it can take a lawl. It is an incredible project.
Council: Goodness, feedback is critical. Listen to the community and act. Nothing will get done if no one tries to support, fix, and re-do anything.
"Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith."
Steve Jobs
