dramore, is it okay if I use your card as an example in the Description Workshop (
http://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php/topic,9851.msg126830.html#new) I have in the Design Theory Section?
I think the problem with this card is that there's just TOO MUCH going on. Good art selection (nice site that you got it from
), but here are my issues with it.
1). Your description is madness.
Does 'X=Attack' refer to the Elder/Young Brain Mole, or the target creature's attack? Also, why does this card both lobotomize AND poison a creature assuming it survives the ability? (The stealing effect also confuses me...)
2). Think of a name for your ability and try to simplify the text.
:Sacrifice Brain Mole to deal
X damage and remove any skill
from the target creature. X=Attack.
If creature survives gain control
of it. Add 1 poison counter to
creature.(If creature lives steal
and infect it with 1 poison.)
That is A LOT to have on a card. If you explained your description right, you wouldn't need to have the parenthesis around the last part of the sentence - actually, you wouldn't need it at all, as you could combine the two previous sentences before it. The player should make sense of it like that. Here's a shorter version:
:Sacrifice Brain Mole to Lobotomize
the creature and deal
X damage. X=Attack.
If creature survives, gain control
& add 1 poison counter to it.
You gotta make it more concise.
You could also just remove either the Lobotomize or deal damage part to make it a little bit less broken/complicated.
3). Personally, I think a Brain Mole should have a different mechanic than killing itself to rid the opponent of a creature in terms of its ability and stealing it outright (you basic take it only for it attack power, assuming its AP isn't already moreso than its HP). I like the note about the 'crawling into your ear and dealing damage to your brain' idea, but for some reason this doesn't sit well with me.
