Writing Competition: Yellow Journalism [VOTING]

[Aves]

Yellow Journalism

>>Rules<<

Submissions

Spoiler for The Elementariat:

Spoiler for Anti-Life Meme:

LIFE THREATENS TO BECOME ELEMENT


For the entire history of ELEMENTS THE GAME, there have been ELEVEN ELEMENTS. But FAKE MASTER Mr Muffin is trying to add a twelfth. WE CANNOT LET THIS HAPPEN. Here are three reasons why.

1.) There have always been Eleven Elements. This was Zanzarino's intention for the game. "I created the game with exactly eleven Elements. There can never be more." - Zanzarino. If we start adding more Elements, when will we stop? What else will we add? Will we have Elements like Void, or Acid, or Fairy? Soon enough, we would have way too many Elements for Elements to even be Elements! This is why we cannot let any new Elements be added to the game.

2.) Life is OVERPOWERED. In the picture above is the HORNED FROG card. It has 3 attack and 3 health for only 2 quanta. Compare this to BLUE CRAWLER, which has the same stats for an extra 3 quanta. You can clearly see that Horned Frog is too strong of a creature, and the entire balance of the game would be destroyed. "Bloody 'ell, these Life cards are bonkers! I almost spit out my tea when I saw 'em." - JonathanCrazyJ, Master of Water, a REAL ELEMENT.

3.) Mr Muffin is a FAKE MASTER. All the honorable players in the game entered Trials to become Master of a real element. Mr Muffin became Master of a FAKE ELEMENT. "I wanted to be a Master, but all the Trials were too difficult. So I created my own Fake Element." - Mr Muffin. The Fake Master HIMSELF admits that LIFE IS NOT A REAL ELEMENT. What more proof do we need?

Good people of Elements, this is a CALL TO ACTION! We must BAN ALL LIFE CARDS! Life must never become an Element!

Spoiler for Elemental Inquisitor:

Elemental Inquisitor July 31st, 2017 Page 2 Horned Frogs Lose Homes! Homeless horned frog watching as the water invaders take his home. Water elementals are slowly pushing horned frogs out of their native habitats in the borderlands between the jungles of life and the water dwellers ocean. The horned frogs are an endangered species due to the heaps of epinephrine needles being dumped in their homes. They have lived for some time in these gentle lakes and ponds along the border of the two realms but are now being forced out. We have not yet determined when it started, nor are we able to explain when where the most damage has been done, but we do know it has affected the frogs greatly.

A brief interview has given us some insight on these matters and how the water elementals are taking action on these accusations against them. When asked to comment on these issues Water master JCJ only gave a quizzical look of confusion stating, "I don't know what you speak of, we are just doing what water elementals do." JCJ at the weekly water master convention. June 13, 2017

You have no time remaining.

[Aves]

Congratulations to CleanOnion's the Elementariat! I wouldn't touch that tabloid with a ten foot pole.

[CleanOnion]

<3

Thank you everyone!

[RootRanger]

Thanks ya'll for the close second place, this was fun for me to make and I'm glad people liked it