Round 3: Amphibious Essence | Amphibious Potion

[rob77dp]

Round 3 update is now in the OP!

rename thread please

I gave you a water card, what more do you want MoW? /fixed

[Espithel]

(R3)
You really do need to work on how you word your cards; the current wording is cluttered. Here is the number of things it does:
- Changes the element to water.
- Makes the creature "Amphibious", which is exactly the same as changing the element to water.
- Makes the creature lose flying, which serves little purpose (Although it does make for fun water/air shenanigans)
- Makes the creature unable to be be frozen.
- If you have a fire pillar, fire pend, or fire mark, give the creature +1 | +1, which is much harder to say than "If you have fire quanta."

You really have to simplify the text here. Get rid of one mode, if necessary.

Code: [Select]

Target becomes a :water creature, loses flying, becomes unfreezable, and gains +1 | +1 if you have :fire quanta.
Also, why is the fish, a purely aquatic life-form, giving you amphibious, half-aquatic/half-land, properties?
How are any of these properties amphibious but not aquatic?

[rob77dp]

You took a lot of risks with your card.  Having two different abilities on a creature does not currently work in the game.  Having the ability to choose which quanta you pay does not exist.  Cards changing element on upgrade does not exist.  That and the card is confusing to begin with.  All those factors are things that would initially drive people away from the card that you would have to overcome.  The underlying idea is interesting.  Were your card something like having the unupped version having the death ability only and the upped version having the damaged ability (and still being darkness)  I think you would have faired a lot better.

50% how well the card fits with the given art and theme
50% how original the card idea is in terms of execution

Hmmm, I guess I misread the voting directions? In any case,  I plan to change my approach going forward try more things that have some kind of precedent  somewhere already in the game (not strictly exact precedent but less 'totally new ideas').

[rob77dp]

(R3)
You really do need to work on how you word your cards; the current wording is cluttered. Here is the number of things it does:
- Changes the element to water. yup
- Makes the creature "Amphibious", which is exactly the same as changing the element to water. an attempt to keep the card less boring
- Makes the creature lose flying, which serves little purpose (Although it does make for fun water/air shenanigans) amphibians do not fly
- Makes the creature unable to be be frozen. fun way, I think,  to implement another aspect of amphibians - their being Ectothermic
- If you have a fire pillar, fire pend, or fire mark, give the creature +1 | +1, which is much harder to say than "If you have fire quanta."that is because it isn't just do you have fire quanta

You really have to simplify the text here. Get rid of one mode, if necessary.

Code: [Select]

Target becomes a :water creature, loses flying, becomes unfreezable, and gains +1 | +1 if you have :fire quanta.I like mine though

Also, why is the fish, a purely aquatic life-form, giving you amphibious, half-aquatic/half-land, properties? fish?
How are any of these properties amphibious but not aquatic?read my edited notes  - did they help here?

[randomperson123]

(R3)
You really do need to work on how you word your cards; the current wording is cluttered. Here is the number of things it does:
- Changes the element to water. yup
- Makes the creature "Amphibious", which is exactly the same as changing the element to water. an attempt to keep the card less boring
- Makes the creature lose flying, which serves little purpose (Although it does make for fun water/air shenanigans) amphibians do not fly
- Makes the creature unable to be be frozen. fun way, I think,  to implement another aspect of amphibians - their being Ectothermic
- If you have a fire pillar, fire pend, or fire mark, give the creature +1 | +1, which is much harder to say than "If you have fire quanta."that is because it isn't just do you have fire quanta

You really have to simplify the text here. Get rid of one mode, if necessary.

Code: [Select]

Target becomes a :water creature, loses flying, becomes unfreezable, and gains +1 | +1 if you have :fire quanta.I like mine though

Also, why is the fish, a purely aquatic life-form, giving you amphibious, half-aquatic/half-land, properties? fish?
How are any of these properties amphibious but not aquatic?read my edited notes  - did they help here?

Well the way you worded your card, it implies that the target gets the buff when you have fire quanta, not when you have a pillar mark or pendulum.
So yeah, you do need work on your wording, rob.

[rob77dp]

(R3)
You really do need to work on how you word your cards; the current wording is cluttered. Here is the number of things it does:
- Changes the element to water. yup
- Makes the creature "Amphibious", which is exactly the same as changing the element to water. an attempt to keep the card less boring
- Makes the creature lose flying, which serves little purpose (Although it does make for fun water/air shenanigans) amphibians do not fly
- Makes the creature unable to be be frozen. fun way, I think,  to implement another aspect of amphibians - their being Ectothermic
- If you have a fire pillar, fire pend, or fire mark, give the creature +1 | +1, which is much harder to say than "If you have fire quanta."that is because it isn't just do you have fire quanta

You really have to simplify the text here. Get rid of one mode, if necessary.

Code: [Select]

Target becomes a :water creature, loses flying, becomes unfreezable, and gains +1 | +1 if you have :fire quanta.I like mine though

Also, why is the fish, a purely aquatic life-form, giving you amphibious, half-aquatic/half-land, properties? fish?
How are any of these properties amphibious but not aquatic?read my edited notes  - did they help here?

Well the way you worded your card, it implies that the target gets the buff when you have fire quanta, not when you have a pillar mark or pendulum.
So yeah, you do need work on your wording, rob.

Reviewed - if WELL before the deadline I might more strongly consider a wording change but as it stands the deadline for design is past. I greatly appreciate the time spent to read my card and offer comments but comments well prior to the deadline are MUCH more helpful and are likely to get actual responses or edits from me.

Yes, I realize this card was done fairly close to the design deadline. So it goes with 10 day out-of-town vacations.