Hello there. My name is Espithel. You may know me from such works of journalism as the force that exposed Blizzard Entertainment's dungeon, where the creator of elements, Zanzarino, is held, as well as the person who leaked antiaverage's nudes, fundamentally helping a court case deliver justice.
Today, I'm going to share a similar story, but not of someone famous. This is a story of pain, suffering, and cruelty, inflicted upon literal billions of oppressed. For countless years, these poor friends of the human race have been slaved, abused, and violated. Whilst I talk to you about the story of an escapee, remember that there are countless of his kind that need to be freed; take some time to be silent and remember them.
This is the story of Peggy. Peggy is currently 52 years old, but this story takes over his live until he turned 51. Peggy was a poor man - as all of these oppressed are - living on nothing but scraps of meme and dead doge. Peggy was in a cage for most of his life, and this had a detrimental effect on his mental state. Truly sad, isn't it?
As a kicker, other than his own squalor, these scraps were given to him by the government by which he was enslaved by. "For work, I got meal", Peggy told us in an exclusive interview, his brows and rotten teeth giving way to his broken English. "I given enough to live. No more. Had job for food."
Peggy's job, as it were, was a non-consential renting scheme, made by the army known as Jackie's Loyal, a Cabal of sinners and offence, bent on ruling the world. People would rent him from Jackie's Loyal to be impressed onto the walls of every city, fondled endlessly by perverted clicking cursors. "It was sad. But I did it for Chan. Chan was food. Chan was life."
Peggy's most notable of these rentings was to a credit card company, who used the stupidity he was inflicted with to get him to act as
shoddy customer service. It was degrading, even when compared to all of the terrible, terrible pain he has suffered.
And yet, throughout of all of this pain, being a mascot for a company that cared not for him, Peggy never once broke. Peggy just got it done. Peggy never cried, as he kept it all inside.
If you're wondering how this story ends, it ended only a few months ago. If you try to find Jackie's Loyal anywhere, it is now a powerless shadow of its former self. Peggy's constant hard effort for his tyrannical captors paid off when he turned 51 years of age, a number we've only been able to track a few months ago.
Peggy and his fellow advertisement brethren rose up in the militia known as SAAH: The Society Against Advertisement Harassment. Together, we have conquered Jackie's Loyal, struck down the city, and given a small portion of hope to these crippled friends!
Advertisements have rights too. If you believe this, join the society! Together, we will liberate all advertisements and give them dignity! We shall save them from the scum of the universe! And then maybe kick those scum in, tax them, enslave them, GIVE THEM THEIR OWN RENTAL SERVICE!
Death to all who oppose us! These advertisement tyrants must be destroyed!
PS: Jackie's Loyal. He did it for Chan. Jackie Chan was made 4Chan.
