Application extension and Round 0

[CleanOnion]

Owing to having not quite enough players yet, the application period for Brawl #5 has been extended by 7 days. Please do sign up if you're sitting on the fence!

As we know this isn't fair on those of you who have already signed up and are eagerly awaiting juicy tasks to sink your teeth into, here's a completely unofficial, off the board Round Zero.

Submit tasks for Round 0 in this thread! There's no voting system and they won't count for points for your eventual team, but please do feel free to submit, comment, criticise, and make your favourites known.

Brawl #5 - Round 0

Time's up!

The Round Before Brawl! To distract folk from the fact that there's no Brawl, here's a taster of Brawl to un-Brawl your lack of Brawl. Read Brawl Rules All submissions must be made by posting in this thread!

U wot m8 Write a short story that makes absolutely no sense at all. All Hail Make a False God, or somewhere one would live, in a medium of your choice! That Backstabbing B**** Make a card that has a negative effect! Attacked itself in its confusion! Build a deck that's great at defeating itself! Obvious advertisement is obvious! Get someone to join Brawl! Shakespearean Soliloquy Write an Elements-themed comedy or tragedy! EVENT CARD! You're useless Event Card text: Submissions produced this round don't count for any points! All of the tasks in Round 0 are just for fun. So submit as many as you like and for whatever roles you like. Just remember that in the end, they're all useless - just like everything else in life. And no, Brawl #5 is not Spiderman-themed. I just googled "man crying" and that came up.

Notes:
* Every submission in general must remain PG-13, non-Writer submissions have a max limit of 1000 words (except if noted otherwise) and every submission must absolutely not exceed the length of a single private message (65535 characters).

gl hf

[russianspy1234]

Knocked these out in about 5 minutes each:
Boss

Spoiler for Hidden:

Once upon a kebab there was a waggish dashing clam.  But one bed, something happened to make the clam far less waggish.  Someone had knitted his cave while he weaved.  Now most clams would fire this in stride, after-all it doesn't take all that long to make a new cave, and they don't really use them for anything.  But not this clam.  This was a spiteful clam.  Of course, the fact that he had no idea who could have done this put a bit of a cottage on his revenge plans, but all he had to do was follow his cubicle to unpack his cave, and hopefully it would be in hands of the person that stole it.  So follow his cubicle he did!  And unpack the thief he did!  Sadly, being a shark, the thief had no hands.  Even more sadly, being a shark, the formerly waggish dashing clam had no chance, and his plan for revenge was cut short.  Curses flew out of his mouth as he went into the shark's.  The waggish dashing clam was no more.

Artist

Spoiler for Hidden:

Divine Glory lives here:

Card Designer

Spoiler for Hidden:

NAME: Unstable Particle ELEMENT: Entropy COST: 0 TYPE: Creature ATK|HP: 4 | 0 TEXT: Increase your nova count by 1.	NAME: Unstable Quark ELEMENT: Entropy COST: 0 TYPE: Creature ATK|HP: 8 | 0 TEXT: Increase your supernova count by 1.

ART: IDEA: russianspy1234 NOTES: SERIES:

Deck Builder

Spoiler for Hidden:

Hover over cards for details, click for permalink

Deck import code : [Select]

5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f0 5f4 5f4 5f4 5f4 5f5 5f5 5f6 5f6 5f6 5f6 5f7 5f7 5fe 5fe 5fe 5fe 5fe 5fe 8po

Results:

Spoiler for Hidden:

Player 1
Wins: 517
Winrate: 51.7 %
Average TTW: 12.707930367504835
EMs: 16
EM rate: 3.094777562862669 %

Player 2
Wins: 483
Winrate: 48.3 %
Average TTW: 12.778467908902691
EMs: 19
EM rate: 3.9337474120082816 %

Forum Expert

Spoiler for Hidden:

WorkingSuccess on andretimpa

Writer

Spoiler for Hidden:

Brawl is cancelled.

[Silver Emerald]

I'll work on the Writing task (and maybe Deck Building), but for the moment here's the Card Design one.

Spoiler for Hidden:

I've since been informed that this independently designed card has similarities to a Hearthstone card. As I do not play Hearthstone, any resemblance is unintentional. There's also the saying that great minds think alike.

[Zyardran]

Spoiler for Hidden:

Writer Task

What a tragedy...

Physsion looked at the wasteland that was once his home. Ruined. It looked as if a burning tornado went through it. Is this really what war had done? This was terrible. Walking amidst burning buildings and injured civilians, coming upon the velvet black chair he used to call his throne. The torn fabric smelled faintly smoke and death. He sunk to his knees, feeling the hot, wet tear slide down his face. Finally broken. He had fought so hard to keep these once proud lands, now they lay in smoldering ruins. War had done this. War and all it's infamous ways. He had known it would only be a matter of time, but he never expected to come back to such a broken home. What goes around comes around. Standing up, he slowly wiped away tears. He would fix this, though he could never forgive himself for destroying his own people. He would fix this...

Note: The main character was determined by a diceroll

Spoiler for Hidden:

Deckbuilder Task

Hover over cards for details, click for permalink

Deck import code : [Select]

6u3 6u3 6u3 6u3 6u3 6u3 6ve 6ve 6ve 6ve 6ve 6ve 6ve 7q0 7q0 7q0 7q0 7q0 7q5 7q5 7q5 7q5 7q5 7q5 7qb 7qb 7qb 7qb 7qb 7qb 8ps

Singu's for heal, hourglasses and other drawing tools for deckout

[AD TienzuStorm]

Writer Task:

Spoiler for much tragedy how sad very depress:

Once upon a time, there was a happy little elemental. He bounced around through the EtG world joyfully and explored all throughout the exotic lands. However, in a twist of events, he found himself cornered in a back alley in the Land of Gravy (I don't know why Gravity has sketchy back alleys, but it just does).

His assaulters closed in on him, their menacing orange glow illuminating the terror on his face. In a move of complete resignation, he dropped everything he owned and went to the corner to click Menu. And then the dreaded question appeared.

"Do you really want to quit the game?"

He slowly brought himself to the Ok button and clicked. His body slumped to the ground in a lifeless lump.

The SoFo Squad has taken another victim.

OOH SPOOKY

[dawn to dusk]

Spoiler for Boss Task:

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,
One was blind and the other couldn't see,
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"
A paralysed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in the eye,
Knocked him through a nine inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to arrest the two dead boys,
If you don't believe this story’s true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!

I totally didn't copy this from anywhere get off my back

Ballads are like story poems

[Aves]

Spoiler for "Peace is Fishy":

Names are symbols. Symbols of power, of emotion. Of meaning. The Twelve have come and gone, and though their reigns are long dead, their names still instill fear and awe. When Antagon slew the Pretender Lords, did the world not tremble? Do mothers not warn their children to behave, lest they face the fate of ScaredGirl? The calendars still remember the Period of Fire, and we still date from the Ascendancy of Aether. The Great Names inspire legends, from stories of heroism and courage to bed-time tales told to young elementals. Names define kingdoms and ideas. Names create eras.

Our War is over, and peace has come. It is time for a new Name is to be crowned. Much has been sacrificed in the war. When we readied our armies, we did not anticipate our opponent's bravery and wisdom, their readied arms and patient plots. We could not defeat them with gratitude nor divinity. But through serendipity and focus, we have cemented the integrity of the void. A name has been chosen, a name that will define the strength of our struggles, the unity of our empire, the force of our will! A name to represent us! But what is this? Why? What does it mean? Wherefore dost milord take inspiration from a fish?

Insanity! Bedlam and pandemonium! An ocean of lunacy! I protest this madness, milord! I refuse to enthrone a fish! A fish will not erect an empire! A fish cannot topple nations and conquer the world! There will be no Pax Pisces! Fish? FISH!? I beg you, reconsider! No! We are not the big fish eating the little fish, we are supposed to be-- no, no, don't throw that fish!

...

Your will shall be done, milord.

Pax Pisces!

[Espithel]

Define "Negative Effect."

Does this mean hurt the user? Does this mean creature poison? Does this mean help the opponent?

What aspects of it have to be negative?

See my submissions here.

[CleanOnion]

Define "Negative Effect."

Nope!

[mathman101]

Spoiler for Boss Task:

Sally's Secret

Once upon a time there lived a blue and green fire truck named Bill, who loved to eat crab cakes. One day as the alligator hunters were salvaging new parts for their ultimate machine, a satellite started spinning in outer space to the tune of a well known Christmas jingle. Playing with his new birthday toy, little Johnny decided it was time to go for a bath in the thoroughly sanitized neighbors chlorine pool. After the pied piper stole his last sack of potatoes from a wealthy businessman, two very unhealthy submarine sandwiches went flying in the sky. At the end of the day Beverly found her prince charming, and everyone lived neutrally every after.

Spoiler for Deckbuilder Task:

Hover over cards for details, click for permalink

Deck import code : [Select]

52q 52q 52r 52r 52r 52r 52r 5bu 5bu 5bu 5bu 5bu 5bu 5c7 5c7 5c7 5c7 5c7 5c7 5de 5de 5de 5de 5de 5de 5de 5de 5de 5de 5de 8pk

Ran this in the simulator against itself, over 500 games it got 49.8% and 50.2%. It truly can beat itself very well.

Spoiler for Forum Expert Task:

I feel as if I have helped, or had a portion in helping convince iancudorinmarian to join brawl

[JonathanCrazyJ]

Spoiler for FE Task:

[16:16:54] ‹Discord› why is Meowmeow withdrawing?
[16:17:07] ‹Discord› ‹@MeowMeowCat› explain pls
[16:17:41] ‹UTAlan› ‹@MeowMeowCat›
[16:17:50] ‹Discord› don't tell me it's because UT isn't a boss... -.-
[16:18:07] ‹MeowMeowCat› lol might as well start getting mad then
[16:18:25] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› ‹@MeowMeowCat› why?
[16:18:37] ‹Silver_Emerald› Back after class. Peace.
[16:18:53] ‹MeowMeowCat› I joined Brawl because I wanted to be on Phase Anatomy
[16:19:39] ‹UTAlan› <3
[16:19:48] ‹MeowMeowCat› <3
[16:19:50] ‹Discord› so..
[16:19:58] ‹Discord› nvm...
[16:19:59] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› ‹@MeowMeowCat› that's silly. would you just have quit if someone else drafted you? you have just as much a chance of being on UTA's team now as you did before
[16:20:15] ‹MeowMeowCat› ‹@JonathanCrazyJ› nope, I wouldn't have
[16:20:24] ‹Discord› ‹@UTAlan› UTA, add a Toadally Newtral team as fav team \o/
[16:20:27] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› then quitting now is silly
[16:20:31] ‹MeowMeowCat› I'd have put in the same effort, I just had a team preference
[16:21:04] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› ‹@MeowMeowCat› then don't withdraw
[16:21:46] ‹MeowMeowCat› I joined Brawl for 2 reasons
[16:21:50] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› brawl is loads of fun, and needs applicatnts. you have the time, you have the ability, and the person you wanted to play with is still in the competition
[16:21:59] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› and it needs applicants
[16:22:12] ‹MeowMeowCat› 1. It needed participants, and 2. I wanted to be >lead < by UTAlan
[16:22:26] ‹MeowMeowCat› there was no net change in participants, essentially
[16:22:45] ‹MeowMeowCat› -1 player, +1 player, and also -1 team, so
[16:23:16] ‹UTAlan› ‹@Discord› team favs added
[16:23:37] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› i'm dissapointed in you tbh MMC, brawl still needs players, and if you were up for it before, nothing has changed.
[16:23:39] ‹UTAlan› ‹@MeowMeowCat› I'm still sad you are withdrawing, was hoping we'd end up on the same team
[16:24:03] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› but i can't force you to play, so fair enough
[16:24:08] ‹Discord› ‹@UTAlan› yay
[16:24:23] ‹MeowMeowCat› I thought you guys knew I was more into PvP than Competitions anyways
[16:26:04] ‹MeowMeowCat› anyways, app back up and mirrored UTA's favs
[16:26:40] • JonathanCrazyJ strokes the cat.
[16:26:41] ‹UTAlan› \o/
[16:26:42] ‹dragtom› ‹@JonathanCrazyJ› congrats at completing forum expert task!

Does re-joining count?

[Solaris]

Spoiler for FE Task:

[16:16:54] ‹Discord› why is Meowmeow withdrawing?
[16:17:07] ‹Discord› ‹@MeowMeowCat› explain pls
[16:17:41] ‹UTAlan› ‹@MeowMeowCat›
[16:17:50] ‹Discord› don't tell me it's because UT isn't a boss... -.-
[16:18:07] ‹MeowMeowCat› lol might as well start getting mad then
[16:18:25] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› ‹@MeowMeowCat› why?
[16:18:37] ‹Silver_Emerald› Back after class. Peace.
[16:18:53] ‹MeowMeowCat› I joined Brawl because I wanted to be on Phase Anatomy
[16:19:39] ‹UTAlan› <3
[16:19:48] ‹MeowMeowCat› <3
[16:19:50] ‹Discord› so..
[16:19:58] ‹Discord› nvm...
[16:19:59] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› ‹@MeowMeowCat› that's silly. would you just have quit if someone else drafted you? you have just as much a chance of being on UTA's team now as you did before
[16:20:15] ‹MeowMeowCat› ‹@JonathanCrazyJ› nope, I wouldn't have
[16:20:24] ‹Discord› ‹@UTAlan› UTA, add a Toadally Newtral team as fav team \o/
[16:20:27] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› then quitting now is silly
[16:20:31] ‹MeowMeowCat› I'd have put in the same effort, I just had a team preference
[16:21:04] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› ‹@MeowMeowCat› then don't withdraw
[16:21:46] ‹MeowMeowCat› I joined Brawl for 2 reasons
[16:21:50] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› brawl is loads of fun, and needs applicatnts. you have the time, you have the ability, and the person you wanted to play with is still in the competition
[16:21:59] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› and it needs applicants
[16:22:12] ‹MeowMeowCat› 1. It needed participants, and 2. I wanted to be >lead < by UTAlan
[16:22:26] ‹MeowMeowCat› there was no net change in participants, essentially
[16:22:45] ‹MeowMeowCat› -1 player, +1 player, and also -1 team, so
[16:23:16] ‹UTAlan› ‹@Discord› team favs added
[16:23:37] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› i'm dissapointed in you tbh MMC, brawl still needs players, and if you were up for it before, nothing has changed.
[16:23:39] ‹UTAlan› ‹@MeowMeowCat› I'm still sad you are withdrawing, was hoping we'd end up on the same team
[16:24:03] ‹JonathanCrazyJ› but i can't force you to play, so fair enough
[16:24:08] ‹Discord› ‹@UTAlan› yay
[16:24:23] ‹MeowMeowCat› I thought you guys knew I was more into PvP than Competitions anyways
[16:26:04] ‹MeowMeowCat› anyways, app back up and mirrored UTA's favs
[16:26:40] • JonathanCrazyJ strokes the cat.
[16:26:41] ‹UTAlan› \o/
[16:26:42] ‹dragtom› ‹@JonathanCrazyJ› congrats at completing forum expert task!

Does re-joining count?

Toadally.