“Gather round everyone!” Mama Phoenix’s voice echoed through the cavern. Any day with a fractal’s worth of Minor Phoenix was bound to be hectic, and so Mama Phoenix was glad that the day had come to a close. “It’s story time!”
“Ok, so today I’m going to tell you all a true story! Back when I was young, I was a quite energetic lass, and one day I decided to race a Gnome Rider!”
“Race a slow and steady gnome rider!” one of her kids exclaimed, “That was ‘energetic’ back in the day? Mom, I don’t even-“
“SHUT UP OKAY!” Mama phoenix blazed up, “IF YOU FEEL LIKE MOPING THEN YOU CAN GO TO BED WITHOUT ANY STORY! Now, where was I? Ah yes, we decided on a track for the race and all, and some people even showed up as spectators. Not something any of you will ever experience.” She grinned slyly at her children.
Once she’d had her moment of glory was over, she started once again, “So we decided to start at 4 sharp. But you know what a slowpoke I am, what with all the quanta I need and all. But once I got going, I was unstoppable! Soon the starting line was out of sight, and so was the Rider. I decided it was safe to catch my breath, and so I slowed down for a bit. But all of a sudden there was a BAM! I looked back to find the Rider in flames and…”
Several of the girls screamed, “Ugh, you had to kill off the cute little rider Mom?”
“MY STORY, MY RULES!” Mama Phoenix was off again, “AND IT’S THE TRUTH, OKAY! Now, the Rider was replaced by a Lava Golem. Standard Immogolem rush, you know. And the golem just kept growing, getting faster and faster until it had taken the lead. I kept up my steady speed, but my little hiccup was surely gonna cost me the race. But then, a weird light monk teddy appeared in the sky followed by a band of drunken brawlers. A miraculous light surrounded the track, and suddenly the Golem was back at the start. Add to the fact that I could feel several fire bolts propelling me forward, and the race was won in no time.
“Kids, I hope you can now see why slow and steady always wins the race. And stay away from Immolations; you don’t want to suffer like that poor gnome!”
“Mom’s getting crazier,” one of the minors muttered, “what with all these monk teddies and drunken brawlers…”
“Yeah, like Firestall would ever survive an Immogolem rush…” another interjected.
“OH SHUT UP ALL OF YOU.” Mama Phoenix displayed the true meaning of energetic. “I DON’T KNOW HOW I WOULD PUT UP WITH LIVING WITH YOU ALL. THAT’S ENOUGH FABLES FOR A WEEK! BED, NOW!”
