After many attempts of making mean but original decks, I came up with this. So let me give you... Coastguards.
Version 1.1
Hover over cards for details, click for permalink
6rq 6rq 6rv 6rv 6rv 6rv 6s2 6s2 6s2 77m 77m 77m 77m 77m 77m 78q 78q 78q 78q 78q 78q 78q 78q 7gq 7gq 7gr 7gr 7gr 7gr 7gr 8pp
(inspired by Schuk's 'Patient Wardens')
Original version:
It's straightforward, and very annoying. Wardens and Octopi can deal with any creature they face, while they get real fat with patience. Flying creatures are kept frozen, while the rest is killed. Once the damage grows above 33 or 50, it can finish in 2-3 hits. Or if you face a deck that you can counter indefinately, you can go for OTK with added annoyance.
SoFos are the inevitable colorless perma-control while they can also grow along with the rest of the creatures, so turning them to holes is not advised.
Purify is to outheal the opponent's weapon and to stay alive in a poisonous environment.
The quanta production is high for a reason - when facing a rush, it's imperative to play some creatures fast, and be able to use their ability until you can kill or lock down anything that comes. Also playing a sofo can become an emergency, and it's handy if you can do it early in such situations.
During testing, I could take down fire rushes and rainbows with it, neither mono-darks were a problem with a good start. It's weakest spot is the common mono-ae. While it's pretty unaffected by the dim-shield, a spam of immortals outdamages it due to the lack of shield. A lucky Poseidon draw can mean a win, but it's not enough for steady arena use.