[Super Bonus Task] [Final Draft]

[JonathanCrazyJ]

How JCJ Prepares

~JCJ swims along, thinking to himself "I know Abyss Brawlers are the biggest, baddest brawlers in the whole damn forum, but how do I prove it?"
~JCJ has an idea "Wait... bidding is about to start... what if I... 'stacked the decks' as it were? I'll bid on Fippe, and use his super secret Cygnia skills..."
~"And I'll build 5 cards":



~As JCJ swims away, the collection of brawl bosses say
"Did you understand a word he was saying? he just handed us Beer-mats..."
"Well, that's all you can expect. Abyss Brawler? More like A Pissed Brawler"

[JonathanCrazyJ]

Added title and Gaia card.
The title, while not epic, will make them think "JCJ prepares by sabotaging opponents" when it's really "JCJ prepares by getting shit-faced"

gaia card is literally the only I can think of. I think if it's the last card on the list, it's fine as they already get the point about the cards, and it might actually be funny cause it's so stupid

[Fippe94]

So, we're skipping my idea?

[JonathanCrazyJ]

basically i needed to write it yesterday, and I just couldn't think of how to make exactly your idea, script-wise... I didn't try to go against your idea, and started as that as a premise, and the 5 cards are the "super mega OP cards" you talked about.
I couldn't think of a script for exactly your idea, but if you have it clearly in your head feel free to write a script and we can use that

[JonathanCrazyJ]

i think the problem is that i have never read/liked manga / epic comics like yu-gi-oh, rather i like reading, and writing comedic sketches, so i sort of accidentally went that way. I really actually thought I was writing pretty much exactly your idea until i just re-read what you wrote now lol

[Calambar]

I'm still open for another script. I won't gonna start drawing today perhaps. But JCJ put a lot of effort creating that cards already... I know one thing, artistically Khali and andre will make better comic for sure, only humor can save us.

[Calambar]

First draft. Especially in the last page I need to add bubbles. I was in a rush. Now I want to focus on my regular task and maybe I will add some colors (but definitely I will leave that black and white except for some places) and backfround IF I find time for that after my regular task.

PLEASE PROOFREAD SOMEONE ASAP!!!

Spoiler for Hidden:

[JonathanCrazyJ]

First, amazing work, it's longer and more detailed than I could have hoped for. The art is great, thanks There are some grammar / sense issues, so here's what I have, others should chime in to script improvements if they have better ideas.


Should be: "good job, boss! I have invited the other bosses, so we can show them the cards and piss them off!"

Should be: "Great, Now let's celebrate!"


Change the russianspy caption to "From Russia with love"


"...I'm here ON behalf of him" (not in)




Change "You're pissed like a pig" to "Abyss Brawler, more like a pissed brawler" or if you really hate that line just write "Drunken idiot..."

[Calambar]

Thanks, waiting for others. Maybe someone else will catch even more grammar issues ^^

[majofa]

Coffeeditto

[JonathanCrazyJ]

"I'm here ON behalf of him";

ATNT card: "aggression", that's my bad i'll remake the card

[JonathanCrazyJ]