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Offline JonathanCrazyJTopic starter

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[Round 3] ji412jo's Challenge https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=61442.msg1226691#msg1226691
« on: March 07, 2016, 11:28:47 pm »

“It’s too well defended, sir.”

Nomos swore violently to himself. It was becoming harder and harder to find abandoned resource points, let alone ferret out new ones. The war had whittled everyone to the bare bones of rations, and the endless, ravenous maw that called itself ‘The War Effort’ was insatiable. Nomos lead a cavalry division, proud, seasoned warriors all. Their normal duties involved scavenging the battlefield for helpful equipment, tools and resources, yet all too often recently, their duty to fuel the rest of the army had taken them to far less heroic destinations. This was mainly due to their current godless enemy. It was hard to take anything away from a battle with a Ghost of the Past, be it resources, your life or your sanity.
And now this. Their scouting had revealed a small energy reservoir close to the enemy’s eastern flank. Knowing the intense skirmish that was in process on the main battlefield, Nomos had assumed this nugget of power would have been overlooked. As he joined his outriders on the crest of a nearby hill, he noted the shamed looks of fear on his men’s faces. Before them stood a strange, ornate shaft driven into the ground, bordered by a beautiful array of what looked like the shells of magnificent beasts of the sea. Nobody manned the contraptions, yet they emanated power.

Nomos cleared his parched throat.

“Would you have it said we cowered like smacked children when there is not even a single enemy before us? If I returned to our Leader, the battlefield, or to my wife having fled from a few Shells and a glorified tooth-pick I wouldn’t even be able to look my steed in the eye!”

“So we won’t.” piped up his lieutenant. “Anyway, I’d be more likely to flee from our leader, the battlefield, or your wife.”

Taking advantage of the brief mirth and the courage it inspired, Nomos yelled an incoherent battle cry, and charged.
And then stood still.
And then charged.
And then stood still.
As he finally neared their destination…
He was standing once more on the hill.

He looked down in dismay. His men were still going, yet without formation, having simply followed his lead. Nomos watched as each of them froze in their tracks every few paces. As they neared the reservoir one by one, they shimmered with strange golden energy, and reappeared on the hill, exactly where they had stood by a minute previously.
Nomos smiled. No deaths, merely a puzzle. Nomos liked puzzles.



Nomos knew he was valued by the Great Leader, and that gladdened his heart, but it was not for the Great Leader he fought.
As Nomos lay with his beautiful wife, Rhoy, on the eve of another mission, he told her with pride how he had organised the men into two waves of attack. As each wave was frozen by those strange Tortoise-shell shields, the other caught up. They reached their target simultaneously, and the strange time-warping weapon hadn’t been able to cope. By sheer organisation, he had been able to scavenge resources and relay vital information to the Great Leader.
She simply stroked his head with her huge, warm hands.

“I wish I could help as often as you do,” she sighed “Our Leader -”

“- GREAT Leader.” Nomos interrupted.

“Yes, him,” she continued, “he seems reticent to send me out this battle. I -"

“- Good. I would give anything to keep you safe.”



“Nomos. You have done well. With your information we have finally managed to pinpoint the location of that accursed Time-Staff. We have deflagrated it, and will be launching an attack early next morning. You and your riders will lead the victory charge.”

“Thank you, Great Leader.” Nomos bowed.



Rhoy burst into the tent. Her heart still thumping from bloodlust. She trod on a table and shattered it in her excitement, having still not returned to her usual size.
“Nomos! It was wonderful! The Great Leader used me, I served him so well! I kept growing larger than any of his others! He had not forsaken me, he just hadn’t thought I would survive before he destroyed that Time-warping thing you found! He…”
Rhoy realised Nomos was not in the tent. As she moved her foot, from the shattered table, she noticed a small note that had been left.

Dear Lava Destroyer Rhoy,

Your spouse, Nomos of the Gnome Rider Cavalry, died in service today. My condolences.
Cause of death: Cremation.

Signed The Great Leader.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2016, 12:36:28 pm by JonathanCrazyJ »
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Offline majofa

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Re: [Round 3] ji412jo's Challenge https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=61442.msg1226695#msg1226695
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2016, 11:36:30 pm »
How about a Graboid that the opponent thought would turn into a Shrieker (through evolve).... it just sat there not evolving and waiting... then boom, it was really a mutant with hatch!!!

When the smoke cleared (instead of some big, strong monster) it was just a:

Spoiler for Hidden:
freaking 1/1 ray of light with burrow... :(

Offline JonathanCrazyJTopic starter

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Re: [Round 3] ji412jo's Challenge https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=61442.msg1226768#msg1226768
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2016, 01:12:03 pm »
Hahaha XD

i think the biggest problem is the word count. needs to be pretty in depth to make it that long, so the challenge will be to grip the reader quickly and keep it interesting. Will aim for the lower band of words to try to avoid TL/DR
« Last Edit: March 08, 2016, 01:23:43 pm by JonathanCrazyJ »
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Offline JonathanCrazyJTopic starter

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Re: [Round 3] ji412jo's Challenge https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=61442.msg1226880#msg1226880
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2016, 11:48:29 am »
Ok, I'm thinking about writing an epic battle scene, from the perspective of the Cavalry division. Various skirmishes, many lives lost, they fought bravely, thinking they are doing the right thing, and fighting for a benevolent leader.
They are Gnome Riders.
Cremation.
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Offline JonathanCrazyJTopic starter

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Re: [Round 3] ji412jo's Challenge https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=61442.msg1227389#msg1227389
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2016, 12:36:46 pm »
Posted draft. Any advice?
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