Bad luck, bad nerves, bad decisions, great expectations from myself = quick loss.
It is the most painful way to leave War like this. This is probably the last War and we sorta
placed last in the last War. No words for my frustration. But I can give you the recipe for failure.
- Have burnout before War.
- Put a lot of effort into getting a single player at auction. (Then you may only curse "RNG" for the
first time that because of the tie at auction that player chooses the other team due to another
player already being there.)
- Figure out correctly that launching a very quick and brutal deck in R1 will make your opponents
think: how often will he play that? (Then watch that inhuman RNG /1:10000, thanks! Also thanks Zanz
for the utterly stupid mulligan method in this game./ which makes you lose 0-3 instead of a 3-0 win,
and your grand idea eats YOUR nerves and not your opponents'. The frustration ultimately made me
toss this deck without any thinking against Gravity in R2... Btw I found this fine deck in Trial
Archives, was played by Calindu, he hadn't got any luck with it either...)
- Defend your statements with arguments pointlessly against WMs, which will ultimately screw up
YOUR nerves, while stupid EC stays untouched. (Don't want to continue that debate, just mentioning
that it was really hard on me.)
- Lose matches in the most stupid ways. (Referring to the Weeaboo vs. DocC match.) That was another
nervebreaking moment, sort of a "what else will happen???!".
- Continually change your good ideas in the last moment, because of some random fear. (Did that 5 times,
lost all those matches. Looking at the original ideas: they would have won. Unless another 1:10000
RNG trolling. Don't ask, won't reveal decks. Maybe sometimes, I'm just not in the mood.)
- Have a Team AFK. Not blaming my team members, because that wouldn't be fair. Sickness, excessive
amount of work, personal life, and other random borks happened. I'm the kind of guy who works
a lot, doing statistics, helpful sheets etc. and obviously this style of approach needs more activity
from the whole team. Again, not blaming them, since they helped a lot when available. I'm especially
thankful for Zso, and thanks Doc for Saturday testings.
- Don't have a quick and reliable testing method (rip oetg-v). Testing in Trainer takes a lot of time,
plus results are less reliable, often must "tweak" games (you know helping out stupid AI, or swapping
cards which the AI cannot use properly with useless ones).
- Last three thing caused various last moment borks with Vault (not having enough cards for all decks etc.).
Working on Vault til deadline is normal, happened last War every round, but we never had such problems.
What's the difference between last War and this? Last War was more relaxed since the initial goal
was "let's survive at least one team", which changed into: "let's survive one more team". Team cohesion
was top notch, we were balancing out each other. Now I was more nervous about the outcome of War and that
sorta ruined everything. My personal life wasn't THAT chaotic one year earlier like now. Won't talk about
it, but I had less time and less nerve to contribute towards war efforts.
Forgive me that I was/am extremely bitter. I stick to my arguments, though it wasn't my intention to offend
anyone. When you feel that you have to prove yourself in a community to be generally recognized it can lead
to catastrophic defeats. From that R1 record bad RNG I entered a psychological downward spiral. Fear is a
mind killer. And if you say "why fear loss in an internet game?", well, maybe you haven't even felt this
sort of fear which is like my own shadow in my entire life.
Other random stuff.
- Overthinking is bad. This game is very binary, surprising things are really rare.
- Haven't played at least 5 of our decks. (Possibly more, not counting certain combinations.)
- Made 100+ decks before War / in Vaultbuilding period, and another 75 or so since R1. Many of them
looks janky, but effective in the right situation.
- Shock mentioned in chat that I may missed an experienced vet to help with deck choices. Not a bad guess. But.
I really needed another vet (we had Zso already), but not to make choices instead of me, but to have some
extra mental stability. That matters a lot to me.
Last words.
Excuse me, team. A general who doubts himself is far from being a good general.
To fellow players. Sorry for the disappointing behavior again, this event was too hard on my nerves.
And also don't pity me. Pity weakens the pitied.
This post was sorta ready at the end of R4. :D