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Zzzip50

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My Poems https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=37244.msg467450#msg467450
« on: March 05, 2012, 02:19:42 am »
These are my first 2 poems, I will add more in the future. I have never studied poetry, so I don't know if anything is seriously flawed with them, andcomments are appreciated.

Btw, how do you add the show button, where you click and a box of text appears?



Twin Blades

Steel against steel.
How unlucky it is to strike
Forever locked in battle.
Steel against steel.
The swords entwine
Slice deeper and deeper
Never relenting.
Steel against steel.
Each realizes
None acts
The fear
Of the sheath
Is greater than the cut.
Steel against steel.


When Death Comes

When Death comes that is when
You truly live.
When Death comes you see,
The joy that was in family.
When Death comes to chip away,
What really there becomes clear.
When Death comes to take your love,
You realize your deed.
When Death comes to bind your crops,
You truly savor the supper.
When Death comes to burn the dwelling,
You feel the coziness of your bed.
When Death comes to smite your enemies,
You do feel a pang of regret.
When Death comes to blanket the skies
You are truly free.

And the candlelight I hold
For fourscore years and more
It did burn brightest tonight.
And when Death comes to me,
I came to Death happily.

And that candlelight I once held
For fourscore years and more.
When Death did come.
And Death did go.
That candlelight burned no more.

Offline Aves

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Re: My Poems https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=37244.msg467459#msg467459
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2012, 02:42:06 am »

The Spoiler button:
Spoiler contents
Code: [Select]
[spoiler=Spoiler Name]Spoiler contents[/spoiler]Though I'm far from knowledgeable in matters of the written word, I think that's some nice stuff you've got there.
:darkness War # 4, 9, 10
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Offline Rutarete

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Re: My Poems https://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php?topic=37244.msg467473#msg467473
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2012, 03:54:19 am »
I like the poems.
The Spoiler button is the Sp above the first smiley face.
It is the greatest mystery of all...
Rutarete: Roo tah reh teh
[22:50] <Jyi> meaning gets lost in translation... even in the same language.
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