Raising a child up with your beliefs

[BluePriest]

Do you think is ok?
Im going to put my 2 cents in real quick.

Now, Heres how I see it. If me and my wife ever decide to have kids, then I will raise them up to be a Christian, and I will answer ANY questions they have about it. If they choose a different path, all I can do is love them, talk to them, and accept them. It has to be their choice, not mine, otherwise it is worthless anyways.

Now, you could say that there is no scientific evidence, however, in my view, due to MY personal convictions, it is more real than anything in the world. To me, it would be wrong NOT to raise them up, because them I would be responsible for them going to hell.

Discuss.

[SeddyRocky]

Good for you. Next! ^^

Seriously though, I don't see how one cannot raise their child with ones own beliefs. Children take after their parents, both passively and actively. If I believed in a Blue Panda, of course my children would see, notice, ask, about the Panda. Even if I did not force or even encourage them to do so.

I think your stance is a quite agreeable one BP, since that you believe that you'd be sending your children to hell if you didn't raise them Christian, what an awful parent you would be if you wanted that fate for your offspring. Your willingness to accept their choice and love them makes me think that your children will respect and not fear you ^^ Yay BP!

[Belthus]

Do you think is ok?
Im going to put my 2 cents in real quick.

Now, Heres how I see it. If me and my wife ever decide to have kids, then I will raise them up to be a Christian, and I will answer ANY questions they have about it. If they choose a different path, all I can do is love them, talk to them, and accept them. It has to be their choice, not mine, otherwise it is worthless anyways.

Now, you could say that there is no scientific evidence, however, in my view, due to MY personal convictions, it is more real than anything in the world. To me, it would be wrong NOT to raise them up, because them I would be responsible for them going to hell.

Discuss.

Your approach sounds fine, and it's what most people do. No one expects you to pretend to be neutral.

What is questionable, in my opinion, is when people completely isolate their children from other influences, in effect denying any meaningful opportunity to choose.

[Innominate]

Now, you could say that there is no scientific evidence, however, in my view, due to MY personal convictions, it is more real than anything in the world. To me, it would be wrong NOT to raise them up, because them I would be responsible for them going to hell.

If the truth is as self-evident as you say, then surely children that you raise to be intelligent, free-thinking and compassionate will choose to follow your faith anyway. Alternatively, you could discuss it with them as adults (or at least older children). As it is, children are "programmed" to accept what they learn as children almost uncritically, so they believe in Santa and whatever else their parents teach them. It takes many experiences of being lied to by their parents (e.g. Santa) or others before they will question what you say.

I have no problem with a dispassionate education in comparative religion - anything less leaves your children ill-prepared for a multi-faith world - but taking advantage of a child's naive dependence on their parents is wrong, no matter what ideology you are teaching them.

[johannhowitzer]

You're all right on the money!  I actually don't see any disagreement here.  In fact this:

Now, you could say that there is no scientific evidence, however, in my view, due to MY personal convictions, it is more real than anything in the world. To me, it would be wrong NOT to raise them up, because them I would be responsible for them going to hell.

...is the idea I see lurking behind evangelism - at least the Christian variety.  I've heard throngs from the atheist camp decry evangelism as an attempt to shove religion down people's throats, tell them what to believe, but if you really believe what the Bible says, evangelism is an act of love.  To avoid evangelism if you're a Christian would be like avoiding throwing flotation devices to people who have fallen overboard, or withholding vital medicine from a dying hospital patient.  Re the great analogy provided by ratcharmer here. (http://elementscommunity.org/forum/index.php/topic,8588.24.html)

You may disagree with Christians, but be glad they're trying to convert you... at least the ones who aren't doing it for peer approval.  If they didn't try, it would be proof they really do hate you.

[BluePriest]

I had one person say something to me about how he thought it was so wrong that people would raise children up with thier beliefs, so I thought there was a chance of there being more debate/ I guess not though.

[johannhowitzer]

To a point, indoctrination one way or another seems inevitable to me.  It's not like you can sit two-year-olds down and say, "here are a couple plausible worldviews, just as examples, there are a lot more variations out there.  I'm not going to tell you what's true, you need to go out and find it."  Little Billy's just going to look glassy eyed and ask for a cookie.

[Innominate]

To a point, indoctrination one way or another seems inevitable to me.  It's not like you can sit two-year-olds down and say, "here are a couple plausible worldviews, just as examples, there are a lot more variations out there.  I'm not going to tell you what's true, you need to go out and find it."  Little Billy's just going to look glassy eyed and ask for a cookie.

As long as you aren't taking your child to church or sunday school against their will, asking them to say grace, etc., it isn't indoctrination. Well, it could be, but if you aren't doing those things then it's unlikely that you would.

[johannhowitzer]

As long as you aren't taking your child to church or sunday school against their will, asking them to say grace, etc., it isn't indoctrination. Well, it could be, but if you aren't doing those things then it's unlikely that you would.

"Against their will"?  Children object to things based on them being an inconvenience or boring.  They have to go to regular school too, so if it's a government indoctrinating them it's not child abuse?

Not intending to open a huge can of worms here... just seemed like a possible double standard, so I'm doing the good ol' reductio ad absurdum.

[Innominate]

As long as you aren't taking your child to church or sunday school against their will, asking them to say grace, etc., it isn't indoctrination. Well, it could be, but if you aren't doing those things then it's unlikely that you would.

"Against their will"?  Children object to things based on them being an inconvenience or boring.  They have to go to regular school too, so if it's a government indoctrinating them it's not child abuse?

Not intending to open a huge can of worms here... just seemed like a possible double standard, so I'm doing the good ol' reductio ad absurdum.

I suppose so. Fortunately, there are many provable benefits to children receiving an education. And since the things they are taught are verified by reality in countless places (except when it is critical review of others' ideas, such as in English classes, but such classes don't push any given worldview), it isn't child abuse.

[SeddyRocky]

To go Voltaire here: I personally find it a bit sad when little kids are already scared of hell, as they most likely won't be at the crossroad for quite a while and there are better things to do in life than going around being afraid (of being inadequate, a sinner/sinning, etc). But on the other hand, I don't see how taking your children to church and Sunday school (assuming the Christian model here) cannot be seen a thing verified in reality. If you have a young child and do not wish to sacrifice your beliefs, you HAVE to bring it to church. And Sunday school is an excellent way to get a tiny bit of time off and getting some help with the raising of ones child. The services are also free (donations and Scientology excluded, I believe) and are social occasions. So they are not at all without benefit, even from a worldly perspective.

[Krzysiek K.]

Do you think is ok?

At some point a child is going to have some beliefs. It's ok if you provide yours as best example. In fact, it wouldn't be ok if you'd just allow your child to randomly absorb any beliefs it happen to stumble uppon.