Fastest player kills

[Robsta43]

Consider luck not a factor -> you're 100% lucky in everything.  Both decks are standard (100 hp, single draw, cards upped if needed).  The opponent never plays anything that damages your creatures, heals themselves or blocks attacks, unless you want them to.  Here is the absolute fastest you can kill or be killed (if anyone knows or finds faster ways, please post  ). 

The fastest kill: Go 1st -> 1 turn, Go 2nd -> 1 turn
Mark: Any
The starting hand:
Shard of Sacrifice (must be upped) x3
Soul Catcher (must be upped) x2
Spark or Photon x1
Cremation x1

The kill:
Play the soul catchers, then the spark and cremate it for 7 , then play 3 Shards of sacrifice for 120 damage to yourself.  GG



The fastest win:  Go 1st -> 3 turns, Go 2nd -> 2 turns
Mark: 
The hand:
Nova (must not be upped) x2
Super nova (must be upped) x1
Fate Egg (must be upped) x1
Shard of Freedom x1
Shard of Readiness (must be upped) x1
Time Pillar or Pendulum x1

First draw:  Mitosis (Must be upped)
Second draw: Shard of Readiness (must be upped)

The kill:
Play 2 novas to gain 2 of all types of quanta, then the super nova to have 4 of every type of quanta except chaos.  Play the time pillar/pend to have 5 .  Play the Shard of Freedom  and the Fate egg  , then play the Shard of Readiness  on the fate egg and luck out with it morphing into 2 Silurian Dragons.  End turn -> each dragon does 13 damage + 50% from the Shard of Freedom, for a total of 40 damage on turn 1.  At the end of the turn you gain  , 1 from the mark, 1 from the pillar/pend. 

Turn 2: if you went second on the first turn, you should have had 2 draws by now.  Play the mitosis (4 you haven't used from last turn) on a Silurian Dragon and use your second Shard of Readiness on it  .  Use the dragon's now free mitosis ability twice to end up with 4 dragons.  With the Shard of Freedom enhancing every dragon attack, each dragon does 20 damage, resulting in 80 more damage this round, killing your opponent.

[Youpla]

Consider luck not a factor -> you're 100% lucky in everything.  Both decks are standard (100 hp, single draw, cards upped if needed).  The opponent never plays anything that damages your creatures, heals themselves or blocks attacks, unless you want them to.  Here is the absolute fastest you can kill or be killed (if anyone knows or finds faster ways, please post  ). 

The fastest kill: Go 1st -> 1 turn, Go 2nd -> 1 turn
Mark: Any
The starting hand:
Shard of Sacrifice (must be upped) x3
Soul Catcher (must be upped) x2
Spark or Photon x1
Cremation x1

The kill:
Play the soul catchers, then the spark and cremate it for 7 , then play 3 Shards of sacrifice for 120 damage to yourself.  GG

Done.

[Youpla]

Another one:

Mark: Any
The starting hand:
Shard of Sacrifice (must be unupped) x2
Soul Catcher (one must be upped) x2
Spark or Photon x1
Cremation x1
Lightning (upped) x1

[Chapuz]

There was one without SoSa, which requiered also a perfect opponent's hand and stupidness/complicity

[Youpla]

There was one without SoSa, which requiered also a perfect opponent's hand and stupidness/complicity

Well, I'm feeling exhilarated like a Spark waiting for a buff.

[dawn to dusk]

1st turn kill (never gonna happen but whatever )
Mark: fire
Cards in hand:
SNova x2
Mutation x1
SoR x1
SoBra x1 (in hand)
Amethyst Tower x2

Play:
1st turn by opponent: play hand full of towers and 1 SoSac. 1st turn by you: draw purify. play 2 amethyst towers and 2 SNovas to get a singularity. Mutate it into a 15|whatever Silurian dragon with mitosis. Use the SoR on the dragon to produce 3 dragons with 15 damage each. Use a SoB to draw these cards: SoBra, wind tower x2. Play towers and other SoBra to get wind tower x2 and sky blitz. Play towers and Blitz for enough damage for the kill!
Never gonna happen but we have supreme luck on our side XD
Also, if anyone else knows how to get 10 damage in 1 card, please say (other than PU)

[ColorlessGreen]

1st turn kill (never gonna happen but whatever )
Mark: fire
Cards in hand:
SNova x2
Mutation x1
SoR x1
SoBra x1 (in hand)
Amethyst Tower x2

Play:
1st turn by opponent: play hand full of towers and 1 SoSac. 1st turn by you: draw purify. play 2 amethyst towers and 2 SNovas to get a singularity. Mutate it into a 15|whatever Silurian dragon with mitosis. Use the SoR on the dragon to produce 3 dragons with 15 damage each. Use a SoB to draw these cards: SoBra, wind tower x2. Play towers and other SoBra to get wind tower x2 and sky blitz. Play towers and Blitz for enough damage for the kill!
Never gonna happen but we have supreme luck on our side XD
Also, if anyone else knows how to get 10 damage in 1 card, please say (other than PU)

Give your mutated dragon dive instead of mitosis and you can skip the sosac abuse (I think - didn't think this all the way through so I might be missing something).

edit: Also note that you can abuse QTs for 3 quanta of your choice.

[dragonsdemesne]

I lost a CL game once in 4 turns.  I was using a shard golem deck against ghostmare.  I had two choices, either do basically nothing and get killed by ghosts, or dump everything and hope to heck that I could outrush my opponent without getting whacked by nightmare and all the stuff my shards of bravery gave them.  I chose the second option... neither would have worked :p  I heard a report once of two shard golem decks going against each other that was won by one side on turn 3, but I can't recall who that was.

As for the quickest kill possible, no holds barred on luck, I think it would be something along the lines of mutating a singularity into some time creature that had mitosis or dive and then PUing it and SoR one.  Something like...

1x Quantum Tower
3x Supernova
1x Mutation (unupped)
2x Shard of Readiness
Draw first, get Shard of Bravery.

Play quantum tower, get 2x entropy and whatever.  Play 3x supernovas, get 2x singularity.  Mutate one of them, get a 15/x silurian dragon with mitosis.  Assume your opponent played at least one card (this is reasonable; unless they failed their mulligan, they played a pillar at a minimum on their turn) and play Shard of Bravery, drawing Twin Universe and Shard of Freedom.  Play SoR #1 on the mutant silurian dragon, get two 13/4 silurian dragons.  Play Twin Universe on the mutant dragon, get a 17/x silurian dragon with mitosis.  Play SoR #2 on the new mutant dragon, get two more 13/4 silurian dragons.  Play Shard of Freedom.  Assume that it procs every time.  Attack with four 13/4 dragons, a 15/x dragon, and a 17/x dragon.  I don't remember if SoFr rounds up or down, but you will do either 19x4 + 22 + 25 = 123 damage if it rounds down, and 20x4 + 23 + 26 = 129 damage if it rounds up.  (you'll still have a singularity in play, but it will attack before the dragons, so it doesn't matter.  if it gains vampiric, you'll lose an EM is all)

I can't remember what other combinations there would be, but you could surely do some even more crazy ones involving shard of serendipity giving you exactly what you want (remember, no shards/nymphs possible, and one is always entropy) or your SoR-Fate egg combo will give you two dragons, etc.  I don't like assuming your opponent will help you kill him, but in the above example, it's pretty safe to assume your opponent played a card on their first turn.

[Keeps]

Two turn kill if you don't go first
Turn one
  Mark
Opening hand, two novas, +  SoFr  + Sopa + SoBr, + 3 ball lightnings
draw 3 from SoBr for 3 more upped ball lightnings.
End turn one with 6 7/2 creatures for 42 + 21 potential damage that hasn't been dealt yet.

Turn two
Draw SoBr, draw SoBr plus two super novas, next SoBr draw another super nova another nova and a sky blitz.
Cast all that nova, don't worry about the singularities as damage is done in casting order, sky blitz, the balls become 6 14/2 creatures for 84 damage, plus if three get the SoFr boost (RNG on your favor), thats another 21 up to 42 more damage getting 105 to 126 on turn two.

So, that , 3 SoBrs, Sopa, Sofr, 6 ball lightnings, 2(3) novas, and 3(4) super novas, mostly in the correct order and the RNG gives you 50% instead of just 25% for the SoFr. 
And that can be done.

Also since we are in the impossible scenerio mind set don't forget the Deja Vu + Metosis + momentum + Sor + SoFr thats also a two turn kill with SoBr and some novas in the right order.

There are dozens of 3 turn kill scenerios...  a couple of my bravery decks I've been able to do 3 turn kills a few times in the real world.

[majofa]

It involved the old style of Shard of Bravery that didn't care how many cards your opponent had.

[Youpla]

I heard a report once of two shard golem decks going against each other that was won by one side on turn 3, but I can't recall who that was.

I just lost a game in 3 turns :

Spoiler for Hidden:

Once I lost in 2 turns (really!!), I got a SoBra rush deck and I was facing a Deja Vu with SoBra also Don't remember what happens...