The bell above the door chimed softly as a handsome young man stepped into the clinic.
On the outside, his chiselled features and statuesque body radiated beauty and sexual tension. On the inside, his head was in turmoil.
The receptionist looked up from her computer screen at the newcomer. "Welcome to Brunsdon's Mental Health Clinic. Do you have an appointment?"
The visitor nodded confidently. "I do."
"May I take your name, please?"
"
Linkcat." he replied.
"Surname?"
Linkcat shook his head. "Nope. Just Linkcat."
The receptionist clicked around for several minutes before she finally found the appointment. "Ah, there it is. Please take a seat, Dr Brunsdon will be with you shortly."
It seemed like only an instant before Linkcat was sat in Dr Brunsdon's office.
"I've looked at your medical history, Linkcat, and, well... you have some serious issues."
Linkcat froze. He had been expecting to come in here to be told that he was fine, that he had just been stressed. "What kind of issues?"
Dr Brunsdon looked down at the sheets of paper he'd been holding. "To be blunt, Linkcat... schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder, psychosis, disassociative identity disorder... you've got it all."
"I feel like you're just reading a random list of mental disorders, doctor."
"That's exactly what I'm doing, and they're all disorders you have. You have a whole bunch of personalities running around in that head of yours. You've been hearing voices, no?"
"Well, yes, but I thought everybody gets those."
"Not like you do. How many voices have you been hearing?"
"I'm not sure exactly, doc, but I know that it's an odd number."
The doctor nodded gravely. "Linkcat, you have an odd number of personalities running around in your head, and only one of them is the real you. The rest are just parasites."
Linkcat was shocked into silence, so the doctor continued speaking. "I have a medication - a pill that you take once every two days - that should, hopefully, whittle down the personalities until there's only one left. And that will be you."
"What sort of medication?"
The doctor reached into his desk and pulled out a small box of pills. Linkcat read the front cover.
Even Odder
20mg capsules - NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION
Please see side effects listed inside Don't let the length of the list put you off |
The doctor kept talking. "It's called Even Odder, an experimental drug from South Korea, no official name yet. But it works. I've undergone treatment myself. Only works on patients with an odd number of disassociative identities. You take the pill, and then - it's hard to explain, but the personalities kinda divide it up amongst themselves. Ones with an even amount of dosage are killed over, and ones with an odd amount of dosage remain. After enough treatments, you're left with one single personality. You can be you again."
Linkcat picked up one of the red-and-yellow capsules from inside the box and eyed it with caution. "But I feel like I'm me right now. What if none of my personalities are the real me? What if they're all parasites?"
Dr Brunsdon laughed. "Oh, come on. At least
one of your personalities must be named Linkcat. Otherwise there's no you to begin with!"
Linkcat laughed. "I guess you're right."
He placed the first capsule in his mouth and swallowed.
